Thursday, December 22, 2016

NXT In 60 Seconds

Do you have an adjective to describe the new number one contender?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Billie Kay: This shouldn't be a problem, right?>
Peyton Royce: Right.
Daria Berenato: Wrong.  punches.  a lot.
Bilie: ow
Peyton: Momentary distraction!
Billie: Finally!  boots Daria in the face, wins We're coming for you, Asuka!
Peyton: We're your competition, Asuka!
Small, Noisy Part Of Audience: No one cares!

the Authors of Pain: turn two solids into vapors, possibly violating the Geneva Convention in under 90 seconds
Paul Ellering: We don't care who has the belts.  Come Takeover: A La Mo, we will have them. 

Asuka: Kinda with the small, noisy part of the audience a bit ago.  Now her on the other hand..
Nikki Cross: swings off the scaffolding and smiles at Asuka
Asuka: smiles the Smile of Imminent Death back at her

Video Package: Here's everyone in the elimination fourway for number one contendership to the Big X!  Each of them might win!
Bobby Roode: Literally day one here I beat Cien.  In Toronto I beat the Decent Seven.  Roderick Strong?  The Whitest Bread That Ever Lived?  Are you kidding me?!
Fans At Home: ...is it a massive problem the most vainglorious heel's rationale is airtight or...oh, we're still going through with this.
Full Sailors: Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten!
Everybody: fights, but in sets of two so you can follow the action
Cien: Now to get rid of this pesky idiot everyone chants for.
Roddy: Nah.  Sick Kick, eliminating Cien  Oh, my God, do I actually have a shot at this?
Pesky Idiot Everyone Chants For: Nah.  Tyebreaker, eliminating Roddy
Full Sailors: Let's go, Tye!
Bobby Roode: ...again, I'm pretty sure I beat this pesky idiot like 5 minutes ago!

Full Sailors: Ten! Ten! Ten! Ten!
Tye Dillinger: I will punch you in the face.
Roode: I will punch you in the face!
Everybody Remaining In The Fait Accompli Cup: fighting in a set of 2, making the action easy to follow
Tye: I'm going to hit the Tyebreaker!
Roode: No, you're not.  I'm going to hit the GDT!
Tye: No, you're not!
Roode: wait what
Tye: TYEBREAKER!  Oh, my God, I did it!  I did it!  Redemption!
Roode: LOLNOPE not techincally a low blow, GDT Glorious!
Fans At Home: ...should I be worried right now this is going to be Shin's worst NXT opponent to date or should I just marinate on it slowly over the course of the next month or