Friday, January 27, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

What Master Regal is looking at is STRAIGHT CASH, HOMEY
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Ember Moon: You still gonna try it, huh?
Liv Morgan: After Asuka filets you in under half a minute, you're out of flips to give.
Ember: Okay.  Your funeral.
Liv: Is it?  Offense!
Ember: Yeah, no.  Corner knee strike!  Fallaway slam!  Crossface!  So this is over, and I'll just
Liv: NO!  Guillotine!
Ember: Sure it is.  dumps Liv to the floor By the Light of the Moon, this is over.  Respect?
Liv: nods, shakes hand  Respect.

Cien Almas: The next time I see the Whitest Bread That Ever Lived, I'm going to kick him in the face.
Roddy Strong: I'm here.  I dare you to try it.
Cien: ....sometimes the night is generous to me.  cheap shots him and kicks him in the face repeatedly I TOL YOU WHAT WAS GONE HAPPEN WHY AIN'T YOU LISTEN

WWE Network: May this video package remind you of tomorrow's NXT World Tag Team Title match!

No Way Jose: Everybody dance now!
Kona Reeves: No.
Jose: miffed
Kona: Heh, your back makes a fun surfboard.  Can I win now?
Jose: No.
Kona: miffed
Jose: You can block this fist with your face, though, HA BAH DAT
Elias Samson: "How about" I sing you all a song?
Jose: What's it on, Now That's What I Botch Music volume 2?  Drift away.
God: gives Jose ceremonial crown for Best Babyface of 2017

Some Guy: I'm probably OK, right?
SAnitY: raves incoherently
Some Guy: Oh, my God, this shirt's been red THE ENTIRE TIME?!??!
Eric Young: force feeds him squash, wheelbarrow neckbreaker, yells about Tye Dillinger
No Longer Big Damo: sentons the cannon fodder

Shane Thorne's ACL: Well, this is embarrassing.  See you guys in the fall!

WWE Network: May this video package remind you of tomorrow's NXT World  Title match!  It sure is the biggest money match in NXT history!  cough 

Team Australia: We've been saying we run this, and tomorrow night we prove it.
Nikki Cross: raves incoherently
William Regal (holding her back): Now, wait a bloody minute, you all promised me this wouldn't NEVER MIND THAT CRAP HERE COMES ASUKA leaves the ring
Everybody: fight fight fight fight fight fight fight
Peyton Royce: We're opting not to get in the ring again because it's a sound plan and not because we just got fricassed, right?
Billie Kay (checking her lip): That's certainly the story I'm going to tell myself.
Asuka: smiles at Nikki
Nikki: smiles at Asuka
Full Sailors: AWWWWW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOH COME ON, MAN!
Asuka: Security
Nikki: forces?  It's so
Asuka: strange.  All I see are
Nikki: red
Asuka: shirts.
Full Sailors: AWWWWWWW SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT~!
Hapless Security Guards: get this work
Nikki: Now where were we?
Asuka: You were on the mat.  ROUNDHOUSE KICK  Aw, hey, come on, I was just having fun!  security drags her away
Nikki: EVERYONE SUFFERS!  Steamboat presses everybody
Team Australia (at the top of the ramp): Did we eff this up?  I have the feeling we may have effed this up.