Friday, February 24, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 179

The first and maybe the only man who could/will win the SEGOT?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Absolutely true, and I will go one better. He will be the only person in history to win the SEGOT, which is the same as the EGOT (Emmy, Grammy, Oscar, Tony) except now it includes the Slammy Awards too. I'm calling it out. He will win Best Supporting Actor for his turn in Fast and the Furious 9: We Somehow Time-Traveled to England during World War II Drift, a Grammy for a spoken word motivational album, an Emmy for Ballers, and a Tony during his run in the stage production of Pain and Gain: The Musical. Bank on it.

On principle alone, I'd have to go with the Bork Lazer, right? Not just for the name, but I do like Swedish meatballs. But all those choices look tasty in their own right. If you're in the Milwaukee area and aren't patronizing the Vanguard, you're fuckin' up. Related, I wonder if Matt Hardy has ever used Vanguard-1 to pick up an order from Vanguard. Delightful!

My favorite line of employment has been the one I'm currently in, which involves engineering solutions for the mitigation and elimination of corrosion on buried or submerged metallic structures. It's a lot simpler than it sounds, but it's mentally rewarding. As for my dream job, I've had many. I've wanted to be a statesman, a baseball player, rock star, and a restaurateur at various times in my life, but now, I think I'd just be happy being a "millionaire layabout/wrestling show attendee." As modern day scholar Scott Lucas once sang, "Work is for suckers and the sucker is you."

Neville runs hot and cold for me sometimes, although it's mostly been hot lately. I'd go with the Midnights/Bucks if just to see how the Midnights would handle a team that's cockier than they are and quicker than the Rock 'n Roll Express. Either match would be great though.

Because no art form is higher than wrestling, they should be named after the greatest professional grapplers ever to have lived: Thesz, Flair, Austin, Rikidozan, Hokuto, El Santo, Danielson.

No, you're not crazy, you're just old. So am I. You and I and others are even older than those who came in during the Attitude Era, because that era saw the rise of Mr. McMahon, and to a lesser extent, Lawyerin' Eric Bischoff, nWo member, turn out as actual foils for wrestlers. Granted, McMahon bumped and wrestled, and Bischoff was always more an agitator/manager for the nWo than actual person to feud with, but still, people kept following the template whether or not they could bump or wrestle. Mr. McMahon and Vince Russo are the two most destructive entities in wrestling history for the sheer reason that companies didn't see it necessary to get wrestlers over as long as they could get themselves as authority figures and themselves as bookers/writers over. Just more evidence that the era WWE wants everyone to remember fondly as the high water mark of wrestling history was actually a huge pile of shit.