Friday, April 14, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

A final bow from the King before bluer pastures (Photo Credit:
WWE: New graphics!  New theme!  We're back at Full Sail!
Full Sailors: WHOO!

Tommy End Aleister Black:  Who are you?  Oh, that's right, I don't care.  ROUNDHOUSE
Referee: Winner!
Full Sailors: Holy crap, dude.
Black: silence 

10ye: Glad as I am to get the call up after 15 years, I've got unfinished business here.  Fortunately Master Regal will let me settle it with EY, next week... inside a cage.

#DIY: This should be easy.  These guys haven't even been on NXTV before!
Guy #1: throws around Ciampa
Johnny Gargano: ...uhhhhh....that was weird.  Anyway I tagged in so things should be
Guy #1: also throws him around 
Guy #2: Nice.  Let me polish him off.  tags in
#DIY: recovers, double team, Impact Sandwich
Referee: Winner!
Guy #1: YOU BLEW IT!  beats the crap out of Guy #2
Dylan Miley: later, online My bad, dude.

Ember Moon: [God's Production Team interspersing her words with Takeover footage] It was supposed to be my moment.  But Asuka proved she'll do anything to stay champion.  I was hers.  But she's going to be mine.  If she stacks up 200 wins, I will be the one in 200-1.  I will be the next NXT Women's World Champion.

Heidi Lo... uh, Ruby Riot: HEY!
Full Sailors: HEY!
Kimber L... Frankele: curtseys
Full Sailors: hey wait didn't you
Ruby: You look familiar.
Kimberly: As do you.
Ruby: peers
Kimberly: peers
Both: Naaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh. 
Ruby: armdrags
Kimberly: armdrags
Ruby: more sustained offense
Nikki Cross: shows up, smiling menacingly
Kimberly: Ooh!  Maybe I can
Ruby: Yeah no, you don't have a storyline yet.  flurry, wind up Pele kick
Referee: Winner!
Ruby: Come play my game.
Nikki: walks away smiling

Team Australia: Peyton, I can't wait to do some interior design around this place.
Chris Hero and Norman Smiley: having some awesome discussion
Camera: swivels around to focus on Aliyah and Liv Morgan
Several Viewers: fuckdammit
Team Australia: LOL wotta couple of losers AUUUUUUGHHH!
Peyton: accidentally reveals Liv shoved Billie into one of the ice baths
Oney Lorcan: index finger up (Ed. Note, Oney Lorcan IS here for porkin'. - TH)
Drew Ga... uh, McIntyre: So I have the same Tron I did when I was here but no Broken Dreams, just some bagpipe rock to establish I'm Scottish?  Feh, beats Matt Riddle kicking my ass.
Matt Riddle: Bro.
Drew: I got this.  overhead belly to belly
Oney: You might think that.  two hard charging European uppercuts And yet. tope con hilo For I am
Drew: Getting caught and tilt-a-whirl backbreakered into the apron!  Overhead belly-to-belly!  Time to win my debut, finally.
Oney: Again: NO.  running blockbuster
Drew: Christ, just stay down.  HEADBUTT, spider overhead belly to belly
Oney: stares blankly Now I just think you're being obtuse.  palm strikes PALM STRIKES PALM STRIKES
Drew: In the immortal words of a wise Riot, yeah no.  reverse Alabama Slam, Sick Kick 

Referee: Winner!
Drew: This is exactly where I need to be.  I built up a rep and could've gone anywhere, but I want to be in NXT.

PA: "the Rising Sun"
Full Sailors: sing along
Shinsuke Goddamn Nakamura: A year ago I came here as a worthy champion from Japan to compete against the best in the world.  A year later, I call here home.  And I learned from everybody.  This place has its own brand because of the energy and life you crazy bastards bring to it.
Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!  NXT!
Shin: You made the chants and the singing--that's the innovation this place made its name are.  It's your style.  I'll always be NXT because We Are.  YEAHOH~!
PA: "the Rising Sun"
Full Sailors: sing along
The Roster, Sans One Champion: come out and applaud
Finn Balor: sup playboy
Shin: oh snap they dragged you into this sendoff!?

Both: hug