Friday, April 21, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

A new contender emerges!
Photo Credit:
Bobby Roode: I'm the biggest box office superstar in the business today!  I killed off every last remnant of the old NXT.  Shinsuke didn't get promoted, he ran away because I'M the champ!  Get on the bandwagon or hit the bricks, losers! know what the best part about gloating time is, well, besides the gloating, is that there will be no comeuppance!
Hideo Itami: walks out silently
Hideo: slaps Bobby in the face
Bobby: (after recovering) Did, did you... did you just... (sets down his belt) You're going to learn to respect the champion.
Hideo: silent
Bobby: (taking off his jacket and rolling up his cuffs) Things have changed!  This place is about me!  Not you, not them, not
H.I. Punk: makes Robert GO TO SLEEP
Robert: does so
Hideo: straightens his tie, see above, lays it back down and leaves
Robert: silent

Jack Gallagher: Congrats on the UK title win, Tyler.
Tyler Bate: Kudos on all your achievements on 205 Live.
Both: shake hands
Jack: I look forward to winning the belt in our bout next week.
Tyler: That's odd, since I look forward to successfully defending it.
Both: shake hands with 10% more acrimony behind it

Robert: slowly waking up from the GTS with the help of some referees
Full Sailors: (to the tune of Smooth Criminal) ♬ Bobby, are you okay?  Bobby, are you okay?  Are you okay, Bobby? ♬
Cien: I can't wait to slap around Drew McIntyre next week, so I suppose another Scot'll do until then.
Cien: shh shh shh tranquilo, perro
Interracial Couple Of No Note Hatewatching The Show: HEY!  That's his/my thing that he/I does/do!
Burch: techincal wrestling, ceremonial bow
Cien: Do YOU have a match next week?  Okay then.  double boot choke
Burch: No, but I'm not going out that quickly!  flurry of forearms, European uppercut Success!
Cien: glares behind him Yeah, you are.  cheap shot punch, big boot, corner double knees, hammerlock DDT
Ref: Winner!
Cien: daydreams about doing the same to McIntyre

Asuka: looks, well, Asukaian in a video package
Ember Moon, Ruby Riot, Team Australia, Liv Morgan, Daria Benenato: She's great.  She's been champion for over a year.  She's still undefeated.  One time she made Regina George punch me in the face and it was awesome.  But I will be the one in two hundred and six (or whatever) and one.
Asuka, presumably lounging poolside listening to Babymetal: They make talking kickbags now?  What a time to be alive.

Billie Kay: We've got this, don't we, love?
Peyton Royce: It's Liv Morgan & Aliyah, why wouldn't we?
Billie: controls Liv
Peyton: See?
Liv: rolls Billie around the ring & tags out
Peyton: Annoying little twats.  tags in, WHEEL KICK And now, with a little help from my bestie, time to
Liv: cuts off Billie
Aliyah: rolls up Peyton
Ref: Winner!
Team Australia: wait WHAT 

Full Sail: 10!  10!  10!  10!
Tye: checks the cage
E.Y.: sends his minions to the back
Tye: beats on Eric, then shuts the door behind them and continues beating on him Tyebreaker!
E.Y.: yeahNO gouges eye violently
Tye: auuugh
E.Y.: throws him into the cage a few times Let me out.
Tye: hangs on
E.Y.: beats on him some more and gets a nearfall off a sitout bomb All right, now let me out, ref.
Tye: hangs on again
E.Y.: #tmfrh Fine, I'll go up and over.
Tye: Wrong.  slams him off the top  Not my last night.  No damn way.  sends E.Y. into the cage repeatedly and stomps a hole in him
Full Sail: 10!  10!  10!  10!
Tye: superkick, possibly busting E.Y. up a bit
E.Y.: cuts him off at the top, then sends him to the ring.  You did this to yourself, Dillinger!  Savage elbow off the top of the cage Ref!  Count it!
Ref: does so
Tye: kicks out
Full Sail: This is awesome!  This is awesome!
E.Y.: FINE.  Open the cage.
Tye: hanging on by his fingertips now
E.Y.: laughs at him Wave goodbye to your fans!
Tye: You first.  TYEBREAKER Okay.  I don't feel super awesome, but if I can just crawl, I can make it to the
Alexander Wolfe, Killian Dain: Nice door you have here.  Be a shame if someone...locked it.  they do
Kassius Ohno, Roderick Strong: Nice faces you have there, be a shame oh screw it Pier 4 erupts 
Dain: takes them down once they drop Wolfe
Tye: sends him off the cage to neutralize him, reverses a whip to send Young into Wolfe going up Well, this is my last night here.  Screw it.  Steamboat press to lay out Dain and Young in the ring Now, where was I before all hell broke loose?  Oh, right.  resumes crawling for the door
Wolfe: Get back here!  You get back here!  dives for Tye's foot once inside the cage
Tye: sluices out to the floor
Ref: Winner!
Full Sail: erupts
Strong Ohno: put Tye up on their shoulders
DAnitY: wail impotently in the ring
Tye (and Full Sail, one last time): 10!  10!  10!  10! 10!  10!  10!  10!