Screen Grab via @RetroSpidey
I think you need to get bitten by a radioactive spider? Or do you have to know how to build web shooters? Which Spider-man continuity am I supposed to be following here?@tholzerman how do i shot web— Tane the Mono (@KlamHep) April 26, 2017
From protected user @Heinekenrana:
How is babby formedYou know, I have two children, and I still don't know how this happens. I think it has something to do with a stork? My parents never had "the talk" with me; they were too busy locking me in the attic and feeding me fish heads.
*don't say your mom, don't say your mom, don't say your mom*@tholzerman What will Keith Lee most likely be doing during 2018's WrestleMania weekend?— Butch Hussein Rosser (@butchcorp) April 26, 2017
Oh wait, this is an actual SERIOUS question. For a minute there, I thought the TweetBag was gonna be all shitposting, all the time this week. Anyway, I imagine WWE doesn't let him go unsigned for too much longer, as he checks so many boxes for the company it's not even funny. Gun to head, Lee is probably on the last legs of his EVOLVE run, working as EVOLVE and/or WWN Live Champion during the weekend. He will work a shit-ton of matches, culminating with him dropping his title to Fred Yehi at the WWN Supershow before moving on to his "farewell" weekend at the next EVOLVE weekend.
You guessed it, Frank Stallone.@tholzerman Who put the 'bop' in the 'bop shoo bop shoo bop?'— Regret (horse) (@TheGenderEnder) April 26, 2017
Well, for one, I won't be attending the thing live. That part of the city is crowded even when everyone ever associated with the most popular sporting league in American history until this point in time was going to descend upon it. One would be crazy to try and crash it unless they've already purchased their ticket and have been camped out there since last Saturday. I mean, did you know the NFL has reserved every hotel room in the area? It's so bad the Marlins, in town for a series against the Phillies, had to get hotels in Wilmington, DE, which I surmise is better than having to get them in Wilmington, NC, but hey, it's still pretty crazy.@tholzerman What are your plans for NFL Draftadelphia 2017?— Vlad Radinov (@thepartytsar) April 26, 2017
Anyway, I'm gonna try to catch as many of the picks as I can tonight, although the Mrs. and I still have to watch the finale of Iron Fist, and well, she barely tolerates when I take over the TV for like eight hours every autumnal Sunday for the actual games. It's not so much the "I'm not allowed" to mainline the draft as much as I make the compromise with her for the sake of my marriage. Maybe more marriages would last if people came to such compromises? I don't know, this whole marriage thing shouldn't be modeled on what you see on sitcoms, but I digress. I'm going to try to catch all the Eagles' picks, and I promise I won't break anything unless the team selects a known scumbag like Joe Mixon or Gareon Conley at this point. Really, the team has so many holes that any pick makes sense outside of a quarterback in the first or second round.
How many times have Dragon Gate wrestlers come back to America since the last DGUSA show? Is CIMA in the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame yet for being the most well-known and accomplished wrestler from that company and perhaps the most influential wrestler from after 2000 along with Bryan Danielson? How many people saw Akira Tozawa show up at the Cruiserweight Classic and wonder "Man, where the heck has he been all these years?" How much actual enmity emanates for Dragon Gate from the Wrestling Bubble™ despite that roster having some of the most dynamic, kinetic, and talented wrestlers ever to get into a ring? The sheer lack of respect for Dragon Gate as an influence from Japan and the total eclipse of the company under the heavy shadow of New Japan that people willingly perpetrate isn't the third biggest piece of evidence that no one watched DGUSA. It's not the second either. It's number one. I love Chuck Taylor as much as anyone, but if anyone has gotten the shortest shrift of respect from that company, it's CIMA or Naruki Doi or YAMATO or any number of the other dudes who came over and busted their asses to give Gabe Sapolsky's masturbatory vanity promotion a goddamn foothold when it was drawing three people in stinky Central Jersey gyms.@tholzerman If Chuck Taylor still getting no damn respect is evidence #1-A of no one having watched DGUSA, what is your #3 after "it closed down"?— DGUSA Rememberer (@LUtang_Secret) April 26, 2017