Thursday, April 27, 2017

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 184

Screen Grab via @RetroSpidey
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I think you need to get bitten by a radioactive spider? Or do you have to know how to build web shooters? Which Spider-man continuity am I supposed to be following here?

From protected user @Heinekenrana:
How is babby formed
You know, I have two children, and I still don't know how this happens. I think it has something to do with a stork? My parents never had "the talk" with me; they were too busy locking me in the attic and feeding me fish heads.

*don't say your mom, don't say your mom, don't say your mom*

Oh wait, this is an actual SERIOUS question. For a minute there, I thought the TweetBag was gonna be all shitposting, all the time this week. Anyway, I imagine WWE doesn't let him go unsigned for too much longer, as he checks so many boxes for the company it's not even funny. Gun to head, Lee is probably on the last legs of his EVOLVE run, working as EVOLVE and/or WWN Live Champion during the weekend. He will work a shit-ton of matches, culminating with him dropping his title to Fred Yehi at the WWN Supershow before moving on to his "farewell" weekend at the next EVOLVE weekend.

You guessed it, Frank Stallone.

Well, for one, I won't be attending the thing live. That part of the city is crowded even when everyone ever associated with the most popular sporting league in American history until this point in time was going to descend upon it. One would be crazy to try and crash it unless they've already purchased their ticket and have been camped out there since last Saturday. I mean, did you know the NFL has reserved every hotel room in the area? It's so bad the Marlins, in town for a series against the Phillies, had to get hotels in Wilmington, DE, which I surmise is better than having to get them in Wilmington, NC, but hey, it's still pretty crazy.

Anyway, I'm gonna try to catch as many of the picks as I can tonight, although the Mrs. and I still have to watch the finale of Iron Fist, and well, she barely tolerates when I take over the TV for like eight hours every autumnal Sunday for the actual games. It's not so much the "I'm not allowed" to mainline the draft as much as I make the compromise with her for the sake of my marriage. Maybe more marriages would last if people came to such compromises? I don't know, this whole marriage thing shouldn't be modeled on what you see on sitcoms, but I digress. I'm going to try to catch all the Eagles' picks, and I promise I won't break anything unless the team selects a known scumbag like Joe Mixon or Gareon Conley at this point. Really, the team has so many holes that any pick makes sense outside of a quarterback in the first or second round.

On one hand, I like the variety of having a suitor for either title walking around with a loaded title shot just for familiarity reasons. When I got back into wrestling, WWE split the briefcase into two for its own pay-per-view during the dying throes of the first brand extension. I have a vested familiarity with two briefcases for two titles. That being said, I can live with the show being brand exclusive to cut down on dilution. The fact that it's exclusive to Smackdown, at least right now, is even better because who the fuck needs a briefcase for a Champion who only shows up during full moons, random house shows, and three pay-per-views on the year? If WWE does re-expand the briefcase concept, however, it shouldn't be to include both top men's titles, but to have one for a male title and one for one of the women's titles. But that's a whole other topic.

How many times have Dragon Gate wrestlers come back to America since the last DGUSA show? Is CIMA in the Wrestling Observer Hall of Fame yet for being the most well-known and accomplished wrestler from that company and perhaps the most influential wrestler from after 2000 along with Bryan Danielson? How many people saw Akira Tozawa show up at the Cruiserweight Classic and wonder "Man, where the heck has he been all these years?" How much actual enmity emanates for Dragon Gate from the Wrestling Bubble™ despite that roster having some of the most dynamic, kinetic, and talented wrestlers ever to get into a ring? The sheer lack of respect for Dragon Gate as an influence from Japan and the total eclipse of the company under the heavy shadow of New Japan that people willingly perpetrate isn't the third biggest piece of evidence that no one watched DGUSA. It's not the second either. It's number one. I love Chuck Taylor as much as anyone, but if anyone has gotten the shortest shrift of respect from that company, it's CIMA or Naruki Doi or YAMATO or any number of the other dudes who came over and busted their asses to give Gabe Sapolsky's masturbatory vanity promotion a goddamn foothold when it was drawing three people in stinky Central Jersey gyms.