Friday, June 23, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Heroes end
Photo Credit:
Billie Kay: Don't let the mean werewolf lady scare you.  You got this, boo.
Peyton Royce: I do, right?
Ember Moon: I'm back, baby!
Full Sailors: Yay!  Welcome back!  Welcome back!
Ember: Yeah, four moves down.  Time for the Eclipse!
Peyton: Ref!  I think I'm hurt!
Referee: What?  Let me check.
Billie: Let me take Ember's injured arm into the top rope!
Ember: ow
Peyton: And it's into the post with the arm!  And into this other post!
Ember: Ah, hell.
Peyton: I'm going to do it!  I'm going to succeed where my bestie fai---uh, should've won!
Ember: LOL like I'm losing my comeback match.  Peyton Royce, consider yourself Eclipsed.
Referee: Winner!

Hideo Itami: ...look, Cash, I haven't had the level of success here I had in Japan.  But I was losing it.  I apologize.  I'm not going to let this get to me.
Kassius Ohno: Hey, man, if anybody gets that, it's me.  Well, substitute Japan for the indies BUT REGARDLESS Hideo, we've got a both lot left to give and people still are out there for us, so we're going to keep plugging away and do it the right way.  You'll see it in my main event against Aleister Black.  Yup.

the Ealy Brothers: We're on TV again!  We should be fine!
SAnitY: comes out even surlier than usual
the Ealy Brothers: Dammit.
SAnitY: commences pummeling, continues pummeling, and it goes on like this until it ends
Referee: Winners!
SAnitY: growl menancingly

Avuncular Voiceover: Last week, Asuka and Nikki went crazy.  Next week, they're going to be in the first-ever Last Woman Standing match in NXT history!
William Regal: ...did you not need me to make that announcement or...

Rachel Ellering Evers: I got this!
Sonya Deville: Do you mean the word destroyed instead of this?
Rachel: I -- I don't think so?
Sonya: You will.  MMA-influenced pummeling commences You go tap now!  rolling kimura
Rachel: does so
Referee: Winner!
Sonya: smirks a little

the Champ: How are you allowed to get named a photographer?!  How do you take a man with no bad sides and take a bad picture?  Oh, look!  It's the Strong family!
Camera: pans over to show the familial unit
the Champ: Getting out of the double wide and experiencing working air conditioning.  God bless.  Hey, sister, if you ever feel like being with a real man...
Roderick Strong: as you might expect, goes after him
Randos Backstage: separate them in a bit 
the Champ: Hey, trailer trash!  You want a shot at the belt?  At THE CHAMP?  Anytime, anyplace.
Avuncular Voiceover: In two weeks on the 400th episode of NXT, it's Roderick Strong against Bobby Roode for the championship!

Kassius Ohno: You look vaguely familiar.
Aleister Black: stares
Kassius: T....Tommy?
Black: glares
Ohno: ...naaaaaaaaaaaaaaah...?
Black: chain wrestles
Ohno: counters
Full Sailors: applaud respectfully
Ohno: chain wrestles
Black: counters
Full Sailors: more applause
Black: KICKS!
Ohno: ow.  FOREARMS!
Black: glares, kicks harder
Ohno: You know what, I forearms harder
Everybody Watching: oh shit
Black: glares
Ohno: glares back
Both: start really laying in shots
Everybody Watching: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttttttt
Ohno: Are you good or are you evil?
Black: blocks his forearms and double stomps him down to the mat on a charge, front kick behind the ear
Ohno: Kickout!  Pump knee!  Pump kick!
Ref: Nope, he kicked out!
Pete Dunne: sneers from thousands of miles away
Black: Massively kicks him in the temple coming in
Referee: Winner!
Black: sits midring a little dazed
Ohno: ..
Ohno: ...did I
Ohno: swallows tentatively
Ohno: ...did I win?