Friday, July 7, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Roddy v. the (NXT) World (Champion)
Photo Credit:
Roderick Strong: (family in tow) Tonight feels like a damn good night to win a championship.

Kassius Ohno: We're on the same page about taking these guys down, right?
Hideo Itami: whatever "so long as you don't piss me off " translates to in Japanese
SAnitY: cackles maniacally
Hideo: Hard to laugh with no breath in your lungs.  his style is KICK
Killian Dain: Cute.  My style is GORSH.
Hideo: ...what does GORSH mea
Dain: runs him over off a tag
Hideo: ow
Alexander Wolfe: Hey, Kassius!  Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Ohno: ELDERberries?  Why I oughta...
Hideo: proceeds to tag empty air #tmfrh
Ohno: Dude!  Totally missed it!  My bad.  I'm back now.
Hideo: keeps kicking and ignoring him
Dain: Crap, he's about to win.  senton save
Ohno: I got this!  Dain lays him out It turns out I was mistaken!
Hideo: I'm not.
Wolfe: smiles gleefully as he blind tags out
Hideo: Alexander Wolfe?  GO TO SLEEP.  ...wait, what's that shadow...
Referee: Winners!
Hideo: (at Ohno) Grrrrrrrr...
Ohno: (at Hideo) Grrrrrrrr...

Ember Moon, "Earlier Today": I'm ready for another shot.
Ruby Riot: Really?  Because you got one and lost, and Nikki got one and lost.  Just saying.  walks away
Ember: Anyone who steps between me and the Empress, I'll take 'em on.
Asuka: (via Twitter) LOLWHUT After that crazy-ass win last week, your girl's on vacay.   Stop sending a bunch of sevens to dethrone an eleven byeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Drew McIntyre: Who do I want to win tonight?  I don't care so long as I get the next shot.  Whoever's held the Big X is looked to as an industry leader, and I have to join that lineage.
Interviewer: What about Killian Dain?  He also wants the title.
DMC: Whether it's Roddy, Roodey, or Dain, I guess, I'm going to be NXT Champion.  Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to bask in the glow of no comeuppance.

Cheerful Ominpotent Voice: Let's forget about all the shock and dismay and betrayal and the fact we had a nuclear heel who immediately got hurt HEY ANYWAYS JOHNNY GARGANO'S BACK NEXT WEEK YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY~~~~!!~!!
Billie Kay, elsewhere, "Earlier Today": It was my birthday and Peyton was the only one who cared to wish me a happy birthday and get me a present WHERE ARE MY PRESENTS AND WHERE THE FUCK IS MY CAKE MY ANCESTORS DIDN'T GET EATEN BY DINGOS JUST SO I COULD STAND HERE LOOKING LIKE A GODDESS AND GET IGNORED
Peyton Royce: Oh, boo.
Argument Behind Them: intensifies in Spanish
Peyton: You know how you get when your blood sugar dips.  Maybe I'll gently lead you away and get you a little something?  Oooh!  How about a Snickers?
Team Australia: departs
Definitely Not Thea Trinidad: storms off without answering a question
Definitely Not La Sombra: Yo soy tambien.

Roddy: It's time.
Robert Roode, Esq.: Yeah.  About a minute past midnight, by my Rolex.
Mrs. Strong: (both, from the front row) Go, honey/son!
Roode: Please.  Have you SEEN me?  I am GLOO...
Strong: chops, dropkicks, uranage backbreaker
Roode: oh god pain I'm in so much pain
Strong: Backbreaker!  Back suplex backbreaker!  Punches on the outside!
Roode: trips him between the steps and the post Wait, I did what?  I mean...yes!  My plan unveils itself as I knew it would!  works over the leg As I was saying before I was so ... snidely interrupted, I am GLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORIOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUSSSSSSSSSS!
Strong: No, you're not.  You're in trouble.
Roode: How?
Strong: Enzuigiri!  Angle Slam! Gutbuster!
Roode: Ah.  Time to recuperate on the outside PSYCHE time to slam that bum wheel into the post!  And now that that's quelled, GDT!
Strong: Kickout!
Roode: ...wut
A Younger, Referee: He kicked out!
Robert: saying something uncouth to the Strongs
Strong: KNEE!
Robert: gah
Referee: One!  Two!  THREE!...
Strong: Oh, my God.  I did it.  I did it!  I knew I would do it!  WE DID IT!  hugs family
Announcer: Here is your winner, and the N
Roode's Leg: well, actually XD
Referee: ohhhhkay.   See, what had happen was, funny story! TRUE story, it turns out
Strong: ...DUDE.
Roode: Match is still going byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sends him into the barrier Hello, commoners!  GDT on the floor in front of the Strongs And goodbye, Roderick.  GDT back in the ring
Shinsuke Nakamura and Hideo Itami: unbeknownst to the other, sigh at the same time
Referee: One!  Two!  THREE!  Winner!
Strong: sighs deeply next to his family and hangs his head