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| "I, Shane McMahon, condemn..." that entire promo, yeesh Photo Credit: WWE.com |
This Week's McMahon-igans
I wasn't feeling the upcoming Hell in a Cell match featuring Shane McMahon and Kevin Owens when it was ostensibly about McMahon keeping his job. I'm feeling it even less given that the match has nothing to do with that and everything to do with McMahon family honour. Ah yes, the McMahons, such classic good guys that we should cheer for.
Let's review: Shane becomes increasingly involved in the United States Championship series between Owens and AJ Styles to the point where he blatantly interferes for no good reason. Kevin Owens is an asshole, but everything he confronts Shane with is true; however, saying that Shane's kids would be better off if he was dead means that it's totally fine for Shane to beat him up even though Owens doesn't fight back. Everyone agrees that Shane was in the right. Then Vince McMahon shows up, cracks fat jokes at Owens' expense, mocks him for turning to the law instead of physically fighting back, and boasts about how there's nothing Owens can do because he's not a rich asshole with rich asshole friends, but in this case it's NOT totally fine for Owens to fight back, and everyone agrees that Shane is still in the right for avenging his father or whatever.
I realize that WWE is not the place to turn to for a strict moral code or even logical storytelling, but the double standard here is pretty apparent. Shouldn't Vince approve of Owens “fighting like a man” when another man gets in his face and tries to cut him down? Shouldn't someone point out that even though Owens probably went too far it's still not fine to be at risk of violence if you say something your boss doesn't like? Or that Owens has a family, too, and they also probably didn't enjoy watching someone they care about be beaten up and belittled? Shouldn't we be mocking Shane for delivering lines like “I, Shane McMahon, condemn you?”
Owens is doing great heel work. His spot during this episode was amazing, increasing in intensity as he denied responsibility while still clearly looking forward to beating up Shane. I'd love to want to see him get his just desserts, but he's clearly in the right. Vince McMahon is not a helpless old man or an innocent bystander. Shane is not a noble underdog. This whole thing makes no sense.
There are still three weeks until Hell in a Cell, and we can still at least get a good match out of this. AJ Styles decided to stick his nose in this business, so you could sub him in for Shane since apparently they're best buds now. Sami Zayn unfortunately didn't show up this week, but you could have Owens' constant needling of him lead somewhere. Actually, I'd kind of love to see Zayn come out on Owens' side, not because he can forgive what happened in the past but because he realizes that Owens has a point. Heck, just throw Luke Harper in against Owens for no reason other than that it would make me happy. I would forgive so much if that happened.
A Good Randy Orton Match Outta Nowhere
I sighed when Randy Orton meandered out to take on Aiden English, but to my pleasant surprise their match wasn't a 10-second squash. English was able to get a lot of offense in and really challenged Orton to up his game. It was heartening to see him be taken seriously as an opponent. Orton still won, of course, but for once I didn't mind enormously.
Happy Rusev
Let's ignore that Rusev was only able to beat Randy Orton because Orton was tired from his previous bout and also was distracted by Aiden English. Let's not anticipate that Rusev is definitely going to be ground into the dirt yet again when Orton gets his own back. For now let's just enjoy the image of an ecstatic (not elated; he doesn't know what that means) Rusev wildly joyful that he had regained his honour and not disappointed his country. I need more celebratory Rusev hops in my life, and I never want him to stop smiling.
The Loneliest Wolf
Even jumping AJ Styles mid-pose before the bell had rang for their match didn't help Baron Corbin get the job done. And I can't pretend he didn't fully earn the interference on the part of Tye Dillinger running in to rescue Styles, but I still felt bad for the poor child when he rolled out of the ring thoroughly thrashed. Of course, that didn't stop him from nearly biting Renee Young's head off in impotent rage, but that's what makes him my favourite teenage dirtbag werewolf.
The Drama Bros
Out of all the teams in the Tag Division, we're getting a story with the Hype Bros. I'm a little intrigued by the idea of Dark Mojo Rawley, but I'm still finding it hard to sympathize with them because they're sad about losing (this time to the New Day). Frankly, it's not like they've descended from any lofty heights. And the Ascension haven't won in forever, but you don't see them having serious conversations backstage about it. Actually, you don't see the Ascension at all lately. And where have the Fashion Police gone? And why aren't we spending time with Chad Gable and Shelton Benjamin? I'm happy to stick with the Usos and New Day in the championship scene for now, but we do remember that other tag teams exist, right guys? Guys?
A Wild Women's Division Appears
Charlotte Flair, Becky Lynch, Lana, and Tamina have all been missing in recent weeks but they reappeared just in time for Natalya's “celebration of women” a weirdly written and delivered bit that probably could have been good in the hands of a good actor (I do like Natalya but her line delivery is awful). I particularly enjoyed Flair's “wtf?” reaction when Natalya said that she'd accomplished what even Amelia Earhart couldn't. She...made a successful circumnavigational flight around the globe? What a bizarre thing to say. Also, “I am not a crazy cat lady! I am Natalya!” Great rebuttal, there.
Anyway, everyone immediately declared that they wanted a shot at the Women's Championship (minus Carmella, who I guess has no interest in winning it the old fashioned way since she has the Money in the Bank contract) and since “ask and it shall be given you” is the motto of this division, they were all put into a number one contender's match. Even Naomi, who just lost both her title defence and her rematch. I certainly don't want to see Naomi left out, but these are the ridiculous situations that keep happening when your entire division consists of six wrestlers and one manager.
I did like the match between Flair, Lynch, Naomi, and Tamina a lot, though. It definitely made up for what was a rough episode in other patches, and there were some fun spots, like Flair moonsaulting onto both Naomi and Tamina. No opportunity was wasted, with everyone rushing to lock in submissions or attempt a pin wherever they could. I also liked Flair being the first to break ranks with her fellow faces, striking Naomi when it was just the three of them. The finish really came down to the wire, with Flair only winning because of Lana's interference with Naomi. I'm happy with this outcome, but I'd really like to see some kind of secondary story that will give Becky Lynch something to do.
