Monday, November 13, 2017

Extreme. Championship. Tailgating?

Screen Grab via Deadspin
When you, the average wrestling fan reader of TWB, think of tables, you think of the Dudley Boys. It's natural. They went from using them as their signature weapon to actively incorporating them into their very identity. I wouldn't be surprised if Bubba Ray Dudley's DNA is half splintered particle board and half racism at this point. However, a new contender has entered the fray. Well, new contenders I should say. Please consider the fans of the Buffalo Bills of the National Football League.

The Bills Mafia as they call themselves has gotten a reputation for getting rowdy before games. Honestly, they need an identity other than willingly living in Western New York en masse and continuing to be fans of a team that continually breaks their heart without even the promise of return on investment. I mean, I know something about sports pain as a Philly sports fan, but at least the Eagles have been to the Super Bowl in the last 20 years. The Bills haven't even been to the playoffs since 1999, when their team was bounced by the eventual AFC Champion Tennessee Titans on a play that Bills diehards INSIST should've been called back (I may or may not agree with them).

So how do they get by? By getting goddamn rowdy at their tailgates, that's how. Whether it be through shoddily-hidden sex acts or even drug use, the tailgating at Orchard Park is not safe for children or the weak of heart BEFORE factoring in the wrestling moves, but man, Bills fans sure do love them some table spots. They put anyone and everyone through a table with any array of moves possible. Deadspin has a chronicle of all the Bills behavior you can ever want. This past weekend was the latest installment of Bills Mafia mayhem through wrestling worked stiffer than your average Combat Zone Wrestling deathmatch:
So, first up, the dude taking that RKO really needs to learn how to take it. You don't move with the user, you lay yourself out. Then again, he might've caught the liftgate on the truck had he taken it correctly. So maybe taking it all janky-like was the best option? I don't know. What I do know is the pregame ritual didn't help the Bills. The New Orleans Saints pretty much took their lunch and threw it to the dogs, running all over them with little to no resistance. While the playoff drought looks like it's going to continue this year, Bills games remain more than worth going to just to see what wrestling moves are going to be performed that day. Just do me a favor everyone; NO ONE show Bills fans video of the Four Pillars of Heaven, because I'm afraid for what might happen if they discover the Burning Hammer or Tiger Driver '91.