Friday, November 3, 2017

NXT In 60 Seconds

Taynara Conti: comes out
Nikki Cross: Happy early Thanksgiving!
Conti: How do you mean, ha
Cross: squish squansh SQUASH
Conti: But I
Cross: laughs, hits herself in the face repeatedly, then finishes off the Brazilian
Referee: Winner!
Cross: laughs and cackles
Mauro: still somehow not calling the swinging fisherwoman's neckbreaker the Cross Covered Three Handled Family Gradunza

Fabian Aichner: comes out
Johnny Gargano: also does, hugs Izzy on the way in
Full Sailors: Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap and so on
Johnny: out grapples him on the mat Plancha!
Aichner: Nope!  splats him against the barrier Enzui European uppercut!
Johnny: Well, that sucked, but it's comeback time.  Rollthru kick!  Superman spear!  Slingshot DDT!
Aichner: Survive that, kickout, and kickout.
Johnny: :|
Aichner: PowerBOMB!
Johnny: Kickout!
Aichner: Pop-up tilt-a-whirl backbreaker!  Moonsault!
Johnny: HA HA knees up!  Around the World Escape!
Aichner: HA HA abdominal stretch rollup counter!
Referee: Winner!
Full Sailors: ...what the shit
Johnny: what....the....shit?!
Aichner: fist raised on the ramp as he slowly gets up That's three, John Boy.  Fair and square!  Whoo!  I did it!  heads to the back
Johnny: puts a few more yards on his stare in the middle of the ring

Aleister Black: (via voiceover and stinger) Patrick...if you wanted my've got it.
Mauro: It has been signed for Takeover: Houston, the Velveteen Dream vs. Aleister Black!

Street Profits: Damn!  Who around here in a Mazerati?  Choice, choice.  That's what you can get if you work hard enough, y'all.
Riddick Moss and Tino Sabatelli Young Money: That's us.
Street Profits: That's y'all?
Young Money: That's us.  We won't wear your chains, you don't do anything with or to our baby here.
Street Profits: All right, all right.  Damn, y'all.  Just trying to show the respect.  We out, anyway.  walk off (sotto voce) Bunch of hating-ass haters...

Drew McIntyre: makes his way out for a contract signing just after having actually signed in the back with Regal
Andrade "Cien" Almas: SURPRISE, MOTHERFUCKER!  jumps him from behind, throws the belt on him, then signs the contract and sticks it on DMC with Zerlina's gum
Refs: come out to check on DMC
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOO!

Peyton Royce: We should both be in the match together!
Billie Kay: Stupid little pirate.  Halloween was YESTERDAY!  HELLO!
Aforementioned Stupid Little Pirate: emerges from behind them, shows them her elbow, feints a shot
Team Australia: flinch
Kairi Sane: salutes them and walks off
Peyton: Why'd she...point her elbow at you?
Billie Kay: having some sense of what may happen to her next week, rolls her eyes

Announcer: (under CHAMPIONSHIP LIGHTING) The following contest is scheduled for ONE FALL...
Full Sailors: ONE FALL!
Announcer: ...and it is for the NXT Tag Team Championships!
Full Sailors: cheer, chant for SAnitY
SAnitY: control early
Authors of Pain: control the middle
SAnitY: control the end
AOP: No, they don't.  Super Collider, Last Chapter
the Undisputed Era: SWARM!  jump everybody, including Killian Dain (who'd come out after the match per pre-match stipulation)
Some Guy, Bay Bay: Wait wait wait wait!  Give him room!  Give him room.
Roderick Strong: enters the ring
Adam Cole: Roddy... do the right thing.
Roddy: shows him the armband from last week and puts it on
Adam Cole: Which is that!  Yes!  Fish and O'Reilly are also enthused by this
Roddy: Get him up.
the Undisputed Era: do so
Roddy: of course, starts laying out tUE
Full Sailors: boo loudly, which is pretty hilarious
AOP: help Roddy clear the ring
SAnitY: is still recovering on the ramp 
William Regal: this
Adam Cole: this

Several Thousands Of Us Blocking Off Time Two Saturdays From Now: