Friday, January 19, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Photo Credit:
Heavy Machinery: gesticulates towards the Center Stagers once again in attendance
Center Stagers: Steaks and weights!  Steaks and weights!
Riddick Moss and Tino Sabotelli: flex and preen
Center Stagers: BOO!
Full Sailors: What a bunch of marks.
Dozer: shakes off Tino's puny attempts at offense, tags out
Tucker: front chanceries then swings Tino around the ring
Tino: lands by Riddick and tags out
Riddick: That won't be happening to me!
Ron Howard Voiceover: It did.  Almost immediately, actually.
Dozer: tags back in and they do the Bushwhacker stomp before sandwiching him, then hits the Worm elbow
Tino: saves the match, then saves Riddick
Riddick: chop blocks and tags out
Tino: punches away and tags out
Riddick: follows suit
Center Stagers: clap to rally
Dozer: gets out from under and tags out
Tucker: gets the tag and cleans house, laying Tino out for trying to interfere
Riddick: YOINK!  rolls up Tucker and puts his feet on the top rope during the pinfall
Referee: Winners!
Young Money: Obviously!  Obviously.
Center Stagers: BOO!

Some Guy, BAY BAY: Every Takeover we've shown up at, we've made ours.  I'm fighting Aleister Black in extreme rules, like that's supposed to scare me or make me afraid?  Pfft.  There's a milli and one ways not just to win but mangle and embarrass him, and I'm going to maim him.
Kyle O'Reilly, MMA Enthusiast: Like he's going to get dropped, you have all these tag teams jumping up to get beat down.  Last week we did it for SAnitY.  After tonight, it'll be either the Profits or the Authors.  We.  Don't.  Care.
Robert Pescador, Esq.: After all, we are the UN DIS PUTED NXT World Tag Team Champions.

Aleister Black, Via Voiceover During Vidpac Of ECW Violence As Well As His Own: I was born a weapon.  I will rip this Adam Cole through the veil he puts up.  I embody extreme.  Come next Saturday night, Mr. Cole will fade.  to.  Black.

Roderick Strong: I'm on a mission tonight, especially after last week's BS.
Fabian Aichner: But my tilt-a-whirl counter to the Angle Slam...
Roddy: Let me put it this way... NO.  Half nelson backbreaker!  StrongHold!
Referee: Winner!
Roddy: cuts a very familiar promo — like last week familiar — I want to fight YOU....Lars Sullivan.

Who ARE TM-61?, Part the First

Aliyah: comes out as a babyface, wrestles as same
Lacey Evans: comes out as a babyface, gradually starts heeling it up then punches her in the face real hard
Referee: Winner!
Lacey: Look at all this trash in my division.  It's not fit for a lady, and it's time a proper sophisticated powerful woman threw it all out, whether it's that classless psycho Nikki Cross, whatever Ember Moon is, or that pathetic pirate...
Shayna Bazler: has unexpectedly shown up
Lacey: Oh, look at the time!  I left the water open and the stove running byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Shayna: calmly walks to the ring and chokes Aliyah out
Whatever Ember Moon Is: darts to the ring
Shayna: bails while cackling
Ember: You want to bully somebody?  Try that crap with me, get in the ring right here and now, and you'll find out what a real queen looks and throws hands like.
Shayna: (off mic, now up on the ramp) I would, but I don't have my gear.  Tell you what, I'll do it for that belt, though.
Ember: Name the time.  Name the place.  I'll bring my belt and I'll beat your ass.
Shayna: (off mic, halfway to the back) Philly next Saturday'll work for me.  leaves
Center Stagers: Beat That Ass!  Beat That Ass!

Master Regal: If I had my druthers, I'd rather the behaviour exhibited by Shayna not be rewarded, but I shall acquiesce my champion.
Zelina Vega: Johnny Gargano has no chance in Philadelphia.  He was carried in his tag team, Cien's beat him twice. NO chance.  Velveteen Dream deserves that opportunity far more, and if Johnny was a real man he'd put up his shot against him in a match.
Master Regal: As I was saying moments ago, I would advise against that.
Zelina: He's a sham, a fraud, and a lie.  He's not Johnny Wrestling, he's Johnny Vanilli.  He's going to lose, and Cien will make it the most humiliating match in NXT history if it occurs.

No Way Jose: (dancing to nothing in particular in the back) This year is Jose's conga line to the top... starting next week.

Announce: talks about the newly minted NXT Women's World Title match for TO:PHI
Johnny Gargano: shows up unannounced full of urine and sodium chloride Yeah, people are talking behind my back, huh?  I just saw it, even Regal's doubting me?!  They don't think I can do it?  I'm D O N E being doubted around here.  I'm not broken, I'm not a loser, or a fluke, or two German guys lip syncing over the Weather Men; I earned that opportunity, it's my time to grab the Big X and not a damn person will stop me!
Center Stagers: pop huge
Johnny: So yeah, I'll put up my shot against Velveteen Dream next week, because I know who I am... Johnny Gargano, Johnny Friggin' Wrestling, and YOUR next NXT World Heavyweight Champion!  tosses mic
Center Stagers: pop even bigger 

Street Profits: show up swagging out
the Authors of Pain: proceed to spend two segments and twelve minutes beating them into paste
SP: But... but our big oppor...
Authors: LARIAT.  Super Collider.  Last Chapter.
Referee: Winners!  Yeesh.  Should...should I get the medics?
Mauro: ...sweet sassy molassy.  I haven't seen brothers put the L in ATL that hard since...whenever it was the Hawks played last.  Man.