Friday, February 23, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Cien 4, Tomasso 3, Johnny 0
Photo Credit:
Remember when our champion looked more like the Mexican-American Male? Remember when Johnny Wrestling couldn't buy a win to save his life?

God's Production Team remembers. Title v. NXTenure is our main event.

Velveteen Dream: preens his way to the ring
Center Stagers: WHOO! Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
No Way Jose: dances his way to the ring
Center Stagers: Meh.
Jose: But... he's still a, and I'm, you guys realize that
Center Stagers: WE SAID MEH.
Jose: Say meh to these right hands and this plancha!
Center Stagers: Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
Jose: biels him across the ring a couple of times
Dream: I hear you, mortals. Okada level dropkick! Rolling DVD! Purple Rainmaker! Say the one thing I like in lieu of my name!
Referee: Winner!
Dream: picks up the mic
Center Stagers: Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
Dream: Your male competitor of the year...
Center Stagers: HOORAY!
Dream: Overall competitor of the year...
Center Stagers: HOORAY! AGAIN!
Dream: ...and the Match...of the Year...
Dream: Aleister Black, Asuka, Tyler Bate? No one cares.
Center Stagers: laugh knowingly HOORAY!
Dream: The Dream's the one who's name is clearly on the tips of everyone's tongue here tonight.
Center Stagers: Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
Dream: And if you can't see it...then I just don't have time for you. poses 
Center Stagers: HOORAY! 

Master Regal: In two weeks, we will begin our third Dusty Classic tag team tournament. Dusty, as many of you know, was the godfather of NXT, and we are proud to do this once again in his honor. The winners of this iteration will get a shot at the NXT World Tag Team championships at Takeover: New Orleans.

Vanessa Borne: wheat
Nikki Cross: thresher Flying Crossbody! The Purge!
Referee: Winner!

Cien: comes out first, as is the champ's right
Johnny: comes out second, Candice joining him
Cien: semi-surprisingly beats Johnny on the mat early but can't nail the 100 Headaches
Johnny: gets control and sends Cien out
Zerlina: stands in the way of a Gargano tope
Candice: topes her out of the frame
Women: fight to the back
Cien: works over the arm for a segment and a half
Johnny: I'm not done just yet. Flying rana! Superman spear!
Drake: Kickout!
Cien: Deadlift buckle bomb! Corner Meteora!
Drake: Kickout!
Cien: And now, unto you, 100 Head...
Johnny: powers him repeatedly into the corner
Cien: throws him into the post
Johnny: superkicks him on the apron Superman that Idolo!
Cien: Hold #47: ARMbar. 
Johnny: tries to roll through a couple of times to no avail
Cien: Look at this very unique submission move! HAHAHA!
Mauro: Of course, if anyone would know the counter to the Gargano Escape, it'd be Johnny Wrestling!
Cien: Enzui corner Meteora!
Drake: Kickout!
Cien: sets Johnny up on the top rope for the Avalanche Headaches
Johnny: gets free and shoves him to the floor
Cien: ow
Johnny: I got a headache for you — TOPE TORNADO DDT!
Cien: es muerte
Johnny: Slingshot DDT! Count!
Drake: One! Two!
Cien: es vivo
Both: trade blows
Cien: accidentally drills Drake with his rolling back elbow
Johnny: Gargano Escape! TAP! TAP! DO IT!
#TMFRHomasso: Well, since you asked. crutch shot
Cien: ...sometimes, the night is generous to me. 100 Headaches! Count!
Drake: One! Two! THREE! Winner!
Center Stagers: agahst
Mauro: saddened
Percy: angry
Nigel: I understand, but he DID make the decision to risk his NXTenu... oh, it's the too soon the Yanks talk about. I should've read the room. My apologies!
Team Idolo: wipe their hands clean of the whole thing, having swept the series, and admire the Big X on the ramp before leaving
Candice: comes back
Announcer: Just as a reminder, due to the stipulation, Johnny Gargano must leave NXT.
Center Stagers: NO! NO! NO! NO!
The Garganos: hug mid ring, then head up the ramp and to the back for what is certainly forever
Some Goateed Asshole In The Stands With A Bent Crutch: mockingly waves goodbye