Friday, March 9, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

You shut your mouth when you're talking to us
Photo Credit:
TM61: feed off the audience's chants
Authors of Pain: look to feed on them
TM61: Tandem side Russian legsweep!  Fistdrop + standing moonsault!
Authors: shrug it off and commence pummeling from one segment to the next
Winston Bishop Nick Miller: lands a desperation DDT
Tags: made
Shane Thorne: launches offensive Corner leg lariat!  Cannonball!  Modified Falcon Arrow!
Referee: Kickout!
Authors: Powerbomb neckbreaker!
Nick: Save!  Tag!  Moonsault!
Rezar: Whatever save!  is in Albanian.  Say, are you familiar with GORSH?
Shane: Can't say that I am, no.
Rezar: Well ⸺ powerbombs him into the apron from the ring
Shane: is dead
Authors: Corner Exploder.  Last.  Chapter.
Referee: Winners!

"The Press"""Earlier Today"": Mr. Regal, who do you think will win the Dusty Classic?  Do you have any dark horses for us?
Master Regal: The important thing is that we have a tag division loaded with talent, and that the tournament will be a treat for our fans.  leaves
Pete Dunne: arrives
"See Above": questions
Dunne: Roddy's a tough bloke and all that, but as long as I hold it, that title is property of the U.K.
Roddy: Not if you give me another shot at the belt.
Dunne: It's not like you have a title, you know.
Adam Cole: I am shocked and appalled.
Master Regal: Is there a problem here, gentlemen?
Cole: No, sir.  There isn't.  the Era leave
Dunne: glares at Roddy
Roddy: glares back at him

E.Y: This tournament marked the beginning.  Chaos has and always will rule.
Alexander Wolfe: Our chaos will continue.
Nikki Cross: laughs and jumps on his back
Wolfe: United we purge.
Killian Dain: Aleister — tonight, chaos will win.
All: laugh

Bianca BelAir: Delayed suplex!  Again!  Gourdbuster!  Alley Oop!
Referee: Winner!

Lacey Evans: I am the first lady of NXT: classy, calculating.  Next week I face that defenseless Dakota Kai, still shaken up from Shayna, and I fully intend on seeing how healed she is.
Shayna: shows up
Lacey: If you'll excuse me, I must go make sure my VCR taped Walker, Texas Ranger.  leaves
Shayna: Ember Moon is a joke.  What kind of "fighting champion" leaves a punk card on the floor?

Tommasshole Ciampa: comes out
Center Stagers: BOO!  You suck!
Ciampa: gets in the ring
CSers: We want Johnny!
Ciampa: raises the mic
CSers: BOO!
Ciampa: glares at some fans in the Whole Shebang shirts, raises mic again
CSers: BOO!
Ciampa: looks at his crutch, tries it again
CSers: BOO!
Ciampa: throws down the mic and starts leaving
CSers: YAY!
Ciampa: grabs the mic again
CSers: BOO!
Ciampa: throws it down and leaves the ring again
CSers: YAY!

Ciampa: glares at them from the apron
CSers: na na na na na na na na, hey hey hey, etc
Ciampa: pivots, grabs some front row fan's Johnny Winkyface sign, and makes sure they see it before he rips it in half
CSers: BOO!
Ciampa: throws it in the ring and beats on it with his crutch, then leaves, pausing at the ramp
CSers: Johnny Wrestling!
Ciampa: stares at them in amazement and disgust before extending his arms
CSers: BOO!   
Ciampa: leaves 
Dain: Shotgun dropkick at the bell!  Avalanche!
Aleister Black: Strike flurry!  Single legged basement dropkick!  Modified Golden Triangle moonsault!
Black: urp
Dain: works over the ribs, landing some splashes
Black: lands minor offense while selling the ribs
Dain: Spinebuster!  Wasteland!  Senton!  Vader Bomb!
Referee: Kickout!
Dain: ?!
Black: Desperation victory roll!
Black: MASS!
Referee: Winner!
Black: urrrp