Monday, April 16, 2018

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for April 16, 2018

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Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Honestly, I got a little worried when near the end of his first weekly television match since returning with AJ Styles, Bryan took a weird bump from the top rope on a back suplex reversal. It's okay, all of his fans are going to have moments whenever he takes a bad-looking bump like that, but it's all part of his comeback. Everyone's gotta adjust.

2. Ben Simmons (Last Week: 2) - Simmons in his first playoff game just dished 14 assists en route to a Sixers rout of the Heat. It's hard to believe he's a rookie with his vision and playmaking ability, but man, he's been the real deal, more than holding the team up with Joel Embiid out. Just imagine when The Process comes back though...

3. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 4) - One could say Strowman could've just given Nicholas' principal THESE HANDS and allowed him continue on as RAW Tag Team Champion. However, Strowman showed that he, much like Wu-Tang, is for the children. A kid needs his education. How do you think Strowman is so effective in the ring? Just by flailing wildly? No, he knows EQUATIONS to maximize impact.

4. Asuka (Last Week: 7) - Honestly, Asuka did what Roman Reigns should've done and spent last week in a cocoon of contemplation or something. She'll be back more deadly than ever. My guess is Carmella will get her head kicked off at some point. I'm happy for Carmella successfully cashing in her Money in the Bank briefcase, but she gone die.

5. Bryce Harper (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, the guy is polarizing, but you can't say he doesn't rake. He hit a home run today on a broken bat. HOW MUCH POWER DO YOU HAVE TO HAVE TO DO THAT?

6. Grilled Chicken Skewers (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Amanda made some grilled chicken skewers with mushrooms, peppers, and cherry tomatoes, rubbed in Moroccan seasoning. It was quite tasty, proving that good food doesn't need to be dripping with fat. I'm not saying dripping with fat isn't good, but it's also good to have variety.

7. Kris Wolf (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Wolf's search for MEAT brought her to SHIMMER. I hope she sticks around America and works Chikara because her vs. the Proletariat Boar of Moldova is a bucket list match for various reasons.

8. Harry Anderson (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Anderson, who starred in Night Court passed away today. He was just one of those low-key funny guys who helped carry a classic '80s sitcom, and 65 is way too young to die. Pour one out for Judge Harry Stone.

9. Nixon Newell (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Newell signed with WWE and then proceeded to tear her ACL, keeping her on the shelf. She finally came back to the ring, joining Dakota Kai in a tag team on the Florida loop, and I could not be happier for her.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - On this tax day, please note that the government cannot touch Oney Lorcan when he's here for porkin'.