Friday, May 11, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Tommaso Ciampa: the root canal of people
Photo Credit:
Full Sailors:Rick O' Shea! Rick O'Shea!
Ricochet: I've always wanted to make sure people around the world remember me. I'm going to take over. Confidence/cocky/whatever, but each and every time I come out I prove I'm The One and Only (be prepared to buy the shirt). I want what I've wanted all year: championship gold.
After A Timely Interruption, Full Sailors: Velveteen! Velveteen!
Velveteen Dream: Who's given you the authority to come out and just get title shots? Babe, I need you to take a step back. You hit your catchphrase, and you do make this look good — but there's only one Dream.
Full Sailors: Velveteen! Velveteen!
Velveteen: You can jump around trying to make a name for yourself, but whether you flip or flop...
Full Sailors: ooooooohhhhhh
Velveteen: You better land in the back of the line behind the Dream.
Full Sailors: ooooohhhh
Ricochet: laughs a little I'm new, but I know who you are. You made the universe say your name. Even the champ!
Full Sailors: Velveteen! Velveteen!
Velveteen: "cleans out his ears"
Ricochet: Of course, he said it after he knocked you the eff out...
Velveteen: Don't get cute. You keep talking and Dream Over won't just be a phrase but reality.
Ricochet: I'll run circles around you. You're good, but you ain't me. If this is your show and your spotlight, enjoy it while you can, 'cause I'm here to steal both.
Velveteen: The candy doves out here here believe you, it's funny. You can try, but anything you can do, I can do better.
Ricochet: Prove it. mic drop
Velveteen: mic drop, fakes a punch
Ricochet: stands there smiling
Velveteen: does his backwards crawl out of the ring and poses on the ramp

Raul Mendoza: yells excitedly
EC3: apparently already has his banger theme song memorized
Full Sailors: EC3! EC3!
Other Full Sailors, Then All: NX3! NX3!
Raul: I'm screwed, huh?
EC3: Yup.
Raul: But I'm so fast and nimble
EC3: And yet, able to be caught. Alley Oop corner powerbomb! Multi Million Dollar Kneelift! EKO!
Referee: Winner!
EC3: (post-match interview) I fell short at Takeover, but so what? Adversity makes a man, and I've got the mind of a scientist, the body of a deity, and precision in that ring. I'm going to keep winning until I rebrand this place NX3 — the best here, there, anywhere, and the top 1% of this industry remains the same: EC3.

Oney Lorcan, Last Week (Not Here For Porkin', But Furious): marches up to Pete Dunne We don't like you.
Danny Burch, Student of History: Especially me.
Oney: You're a piece of garbage. You know that, right?
Pete: shrugs while still glaring back
Oney: You don't like them, and we don't either. Three on three?
Pete: tense nod
the 1-2 Combo: tensely nod back — later in the show the trios match is made official

Dakota Kai: goes for her Helluva Kick way too early
Vanessa Borne: dodges it and takes her down Cheer for me!
Full Sailors: No!
Borne: controls Kai briefly on the mat
Dakota: Yeah, no. You're not the Big Bad. Front kicks! Helluva kick! Basement knee facewash!
Full Sailors: Team Kick WHOOP WHOOP Team Kick WHOOP WHOOP
Dakota: Sunset flip Lungblower!
Referee: Winner!
Shayna Baszler's Music: brings out Shayna Baszler
Shayna: smiles the entire time on her way to the ring, backs Dakota into the corner, then wheels and Kurifidas Borne for talking shit about her a couple weeks ago, smiling at Kai the entire time
Dakota: makes sure she isn't under attack then slowly retreats from the ring and to the back
Shayna: eventually releases the hold

Cathy Kelley, Sup: What just happened out there? What's with the mental hold the champion seems to have on y...
Dakota: (tersely) I don't know what just happened, okay? I won, and then Shayna just put Vanessa to sleep OH GOD SHE'S HERE
Shayna: still smiling at first Do something! You want to stop me? not smiling now The captain of Team Kick, yeah? Kick me!
Tumbleweed: thinks of passing by and decides not to
Shayna: What's the matter?
Tumbleweed's Internal Monologue: I feel good about the choice I just made.
Shayna: That's what I thought. lingers, then walks off
Dakota: clearly some combination of sad, angry, and whatever the female equivalent of emasculated is
Off Screen Cackling: is loud
Camera: pans following Dakota's eyes
Nikki Cross: continues cackling

Both Heavy Machinery and War Raiders: having heard the edict, all throw hands on each other
War Raiders: And yet, big as you are, our hands are bigger. use them repeatedly FALLOUT!
Referee: Winners!

Ciampa: comes out to everybody's hatred, even yours
And Let's Not Forget: YOU SUCK! YOU SUCK!
Ohno: marches out to the ring with no posing and starts yelling at him the moment he gets in the ring Wrecking ball dropkick! Senton! And now I
Ciampa: Miss. Knee Trembler! Stomp stomp stompity stomp with a side of boot choke!
Full Sailors: OHNO OHNO OHNO!
Ciampa: What are you, his big brother? He's not worth it, Ohno! He's not worth it! These knees in a cravate are, though!
Ohno: finally gets out from under Bicycle kick! Boot choke receipt! works over the eye Johnny blackened in N'awlins nd drops his knee pad Sheer kneedrop! Cravate Franchiser!
Ciampa: Kickout. Is it worth it?
Ohno: kicks him down You tell me, huh?
Ciampa: hides behind Drake then lands a forearm flurry
Ohno: Bicycle kick! High Tension...
Ohno: Kickout. Forearm! Bigger forearm! ROLLING ELB
Ciampa: MURDERDISCUSKILL LARIAT! Rolling cutter!
Drake: Winner!
Full Sailors: You still suck! You still suck!
Ciampa: takes off his brace and chokes Ohno with it just like he was a Gargano in New Orleans I told you it wasn't worth it!
Ohno: ugggh
Full Sailors: all varying shades of displeased