Monday, May 14, 2018

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for May 14, 2018

Still the man, even if the guy on the mat ended up beating him
Photo Credit:
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 1) - Oh, so you think losing to Rusev on Smackdown and causing a firestorm of the WORST TAKES ONLINE is reason enough to knock him down a peg? Think again, hot stuff. Bryan is so great that he generates this kind of talk from the peanut gallery. No matter what he does, he'll be fine, unless someone just shoot slugs him with a caber or something. In which case, everyone will have a new public enemy to go after. But don't get ahead of yourself here, okay?

2. Rack of Lamb (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The family went to The Pub in Pennsauken, NJ to celebrate Mother's Day and instead of going for my usual three-quarters of a cow in prime rib, I got the rack of lamb. I've been getting into lamb lately, and this rack was no exception. Delicate yet rich and flavorful, it was a nice change of pace.

3. Joel Embiid (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, I'm not gonna sugarcoat that the Sixers' season ended with more of a wet fart than a bang. A five-game drubbing at the hands of the hated and hobbled Boston Celtics? Nah, kid, nah. That being said, this year was supposed to be when the Sixers got in the playoffs on the second tier and lost in the opening round. Earning the third seed and drubbing a game Miami Heat team was, in all honesty, better than what was advertised. Next year will be different, but hey, the team, led by The Process himself, did good.

4. Asuka (Last Week: 4) - I'm not about to hold Road Dogg's sins against her, but honestly, maybe it's okay that she's not on the show the way things are going. Smackdown is improved since Mania, but man. Man.

5. Kylie Rae (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Rae won the first ever Makin' Towns Classic this weekend in a stacked field that included TWB faves like Jordynne Grace and Veda Scott. How did she do it? Well, I think she got some Poké Power from her Pikachu gear. Or maybe she's just a talented up-and-coming wrestler. Take your pick!

6. Joey Janela (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Just due northwest in Chicago, Joey Janela showed yet another facet in his game when he took Ciclope to the limit in a deathmatch. I'm beginning to think this guy might be pretty good at the pro wrestling game.

7. Satoshi Kojima (Last Week: Not Ranked) - As a wrestling fan and a fat guy, few things do it for me like Kojima's love of bread. And today he mentioned starting a bread-based wrestling promotion. Honestly, the Bread Wrestling Association would get me to sub up for New Japan World right quick, even if it's just for seeing Jun Kasai do a guest spot where he's breaking loaves of stale french bread over people's heads and those victims inexplicably blading. HARDCORE BREAD! HARDCORE BREAD!

8. Braun Strowman (Last Week: 5) - Honestly, if WWE was going to do the tag team thing with Strowman AFTER Mania, then him and Bobby Lashley as Tag Champions would've been better overall than Nicholas (even as cool as that was), and they'd definitely be a better option than the Woken Warriors. Again, you can't fault Strowman for being a victim of booking though.

9. Human Tornado (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Pro Wrestling Guerrilla original hung up the boots this weekend. I always thought he should've been bigger than he was, but for whatever reason, he just never really broke through the way CM Punk or Bryan Danielson did. Ah well, he'll always have given us dunking on Matt Sydal during a wrestling match.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - If Oney Lorcan (and Danny Burch) is here for porkin, and he's teaming with Pete Dunne, does that make the WWE United Kingdom Champion crisps? Or mash?