Friday, July 6, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

All work and no Ciampa make Johnny something something
Photo Credit:
Dakota Kai: comes out to cheers
Santana Garrett: same, but fewer
Both: shake hands after the bell
Both: wrestle and counter wrestle each other
Santana: Modified octopus!  Muta Lock!
Full Sailors: clap to rally
Dakota: Looking at my Gucci, it's about that time. I kick!  I kick!  Around the horn Yakuza!  Basement facewash!  Sunset lungblower!
Referee: Winner!

Earlier Today: EC3 high fives some of the NXT faithful on the way in
Also Earlier Today: Johnny Gargano....doesn't BUM BUM BUMMMMMMMMMMMMMmm

Also Earllier Today: Otis goes to check on steaks and two fleeing suspects who look Mighty Australian jump Tucker

Shayna Baszler: Everyone asked how would I handle a lunatic like Nikki?  A dog goes rabid and you put it down.  I answered that question in Chicago holds up her X and no matter how you ask it, this is what the answer's going to be since I'm the most dominant force in division history.
Some Full Sailors: chuckle then chant for Asuka
Baszler: Bianca?  Kairi?  Candice, who should probably stay at home and take care of her husband?  I'm the reason there's another Mae Young Classic this year, just so I have a challenger. But it doesn't matter who they are, where they're from or what they've done
Backstreet Boys: AS LONG AS YOU LOVE ME
Baszler: I will put them to sleep, and you'll hear AND STILL NXT Women's Champion...disposes of the mic, holds up the X and leaves

Danny Burch: Oney's going to be out for three months.  It's not ballet.  These things happen.
the Undisputed Era: Don't need you for this part, Cathy.  she leaves You two are at the back of the line.  We're getting our rematch next week.  Now scram and/or git, loser.
DB: Aren't you two missing something?  looks closer at Kyle And didn't I pin you?
Kyle: is unspeakably offended
Adam Cole: You know what, ever since I gave your buddy the first shot at MY North American title it's made you two cocky, and quite frankly, unpleasant to be around.  No one enjoys a braggart, BAY BAY.
DB: You can try shutting me up last week if it's that big a problem for you.
AC: laughs incredulously then agrees

Tucker: is out of the scheduled tag against the Mighty
Otis: goes it alone, wins the power battle No one messes with my brother!
the Mighty: ...uh, we do.  We just did.  double teams and quick tags ensue
Full Sailors: BOOOO!
Otis: gets off a double suplex then starts splatting them both, Caterpillar times two  Vader Bomb!
Nick: saves Shane then tags in and hits a Northern Lariat
Referee: Winners!

Bianca, On Her Honeymoon From A Sailing Vessel: Who's gone stop me, boo?  A lunatic?  A pirate?  Some alleged captain of a non existent team?  Someone who needs to worry about her husband?  I'll give the division a chance to catch up, but I doubt they can.

Kairi, Earlier Today: I heard what Vanessa said last week.  We'll settle it with a match next week, I'll make her walk the plank when I beat her, then I set sail towards the Women's Championship.

Velveteen Dream: might as well be Dakota Kai
"Chris" Dijak: might as well be Santana Garrett
 Full Sailors: have dueling chants
Dijak: gets the upper hand FEAST!  YOUR!  EY
Dream: shushes him
Dijak: Mother... double handed chop!  Suplex biel!  Snap suplex!  More biel!
Dream: Trip!  Falling forearms!
Full Sailors: dueling chants again
Dream: Rude Awakening!  Pose and a legdrop, brother!
Full Sailors: clap to rally
Dijak: Rolling elbow!  Cyclone kick!
Dream: Kickout!  rolls to the apron then the floor
Dijak: Time to
Dream: Legsweep you into the steps?  Sure is.
Dijak: gnarrr
Dream: DreamDT!
Referee: Winner!
Dream: poses mid ring after victory

Familiar Voice: I am in the top one percent!
Familiar Man: comes out
Dream: is perturbed, leaves the ring
EC3: seems to recall Dream leaving him high and dry last week in that tag match in England

Mustache Mountain: The Era's been calling us flukes and jokes.  But when we beat them in Royal Albert Hall, it wasn't a fluke or a joke. It was clean in the middle of the ring.  Now that we're Stateside in Full Sail, next week we do it again.

Johnny: starts hitting EC3 with lefts right after the bell
EC3: dafuq?  bails
Johnny: continues it on the floor then back in the ring
EC3: Forget this.  Knee to the ribs!  Somersault swinging neckbreaker!
Announce: imputes the focus on the neck due to the DDT Johnny took in Chicago, and also notes Johnny interrupting Ethan a few weeks ago to announce he'd signed for that match
Johnny: briefly gets out from under
EC3: regains the advantage then refocuses on the neck
Johnny: Gamengiri!  Superman spear!  Tope!  Step up Owenzuigiri!  Gargano Escaping This!
EC3: Yes, there is.  Sit out one armed bomb!
Johnny: kicks out
Both: eventually stare at each other
Johnny: has a flashback or two Die!  jumps all over EC3 and rains shots Superkick!  Basement superkick!  pulls down the kneepad Knee Trembler!
Announce: He's gone over to the Bad Place!
Full Sailors: are not having that least not yet
Johnny Dark: Gargano Escaping This!
EC3: grrrrgh crawls for and gets the ropes
Johnny Dark: doesn't break until 4
Announce: This is Not Good, you guys.
JD: reapplies it
EC3: gets the ropes even faster
JD: doesn't break until 4 again, followed by staring Knee Trembler!
EC3: ends up on the apron
JD: Rope hung DDT!
Referee: uhhhhhhhh....winner?
Johnny: looks a combination of blank and angry
Nigel: Has Johnny Wrestling become exactly what he hates?
Follow-Up Interview: whistles innocently and walks away