Friday, July 20, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Pictured: the new #1 contender (behind Candice and Nikki)
Photo Credit:
In Memory Of Masa Saito 

Lacey Evans: mocking kicks, piefaces Dakota Kai
Dakota: Armdrags!  Kicks!  Around the horn...
Lacey: kicks the back of the head then ties her into a Tree of Woe with the tag rope, then works over the back and the ribs You're nothing!  rubs her chin into Kai's head with a chinlock on, then rubs her forearm in the face Grounded bow and arrow!  Give up!
Dakota: Nah.  Rapid fire short range kicks!  Around the Horn!  And again!  Basement facewash!
Lacey: Kickout!  Pumphandle slam!
Dakota: Owenzuigiri!
Lacey: Nope!  RIGHT!
Dakota: crumples
Referee: Winner!
Lacey: talks a lot of post-match smack

Ricochet: Cathy, we all know I don't like the Undisputed Era.  At least Roddy and Kyle, again, are fighting champions, unlike What's-His-Name.  A couple months ago I was thisclose to being the North American champion but Adam found a way to steal it, the same way he stole a win when his lackeys helped out.  He's hiding behind the belt, and once I get him one on one you're looking at the next North American champion.  *points a thumb to himself familiarly* Boom.

Street Profits: play basketball and plot revenge against the Mighty

EC3: I wanted to remind Mr. Dream I remembered him leaving me high and dry in Royal Albert Hall.  stops for a selfie with a NPC, brief conversation with another You seen this bad boy?  unveils his new shirt Available on WWE Shop.  You know what?  Here.  gives it to him I don't need your money I'm rich.  ambles along
Kona Reeves: chuckles I like your suit...but it's not the finest.  That watch is nice...but it's not the finest.  Nice spray tan...buuuuuttt...
EC3: Is it not the finest? Is it, Mr. Sunglasses Indoors To Hide Your Dead, Creepy Eyes?  Saying that garbage to me wearing that buy one get one free suit and a ring made of cubic zirconium. Hey, how many arcade tickets did you need to win to get that chain?  Get this straight, pal: I'm Ben Wyatt, you're... whoever that guy was.  You better bring your best against me when it comes to banter or I'll feed you to my cats.
Kona: looks chastised and peeved
EC3: Better yet, why banter when we can fight?  Fight me.  Fight me.  Fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me fight me? Fight me fight me
Kona: ...I would like my space.
Ec3: "I want my spaaaaaaace"!  You deserve a beating--a beating that only the One Percent can deliver on.  leaves
Kona: (sotta voce) You want to fight?  I'll fight you.  It's a shame, though; we could've been friends.

Kassius Ohno: looks at NPC Okay, sure.  waistlock takeover, Rolling Elbow
Referee: Winner!
Ohno: continues glaring aimlessly before heading to the back

the Undisputed Era: Look at that, would you: the gold is back where it belongs: at least the World Tag Team belts.  Of course, we hold that next to the North American title and the Dusty Cup.
Adam Cole, BAY BAY: Here's a joke: Ricochet.
Others: laugh
ACBB: Why is he talking smack about how close he's been, who talks like that?  I don't speak loser; I'm North American champion, and he's not.  I'm a fighting champion and he's not.  If he angers the Era, he'll regret it.  He should back off before he gets hurt, sweetheart.  That's not a threat — that's not a promise — that's Undisputed.
Robert Fish, Esquire: (holding the Wal-Mart version of the Dusty Cup you saw him with last week) I can't...I can't do the sign.  raises eyebrow

Shayna Baszler: comes out to take a fourth headset during the main event
Kairi Sane: glares at her
Candice LeRae: same
Nikki Cross: waves
Referee: Ring the bell!
All: go for flash rollups that get nearfalls
Some Full Sailors: Let's go Kairi!
Other Full Sailors: Nikki Cross! 
Kairi: Flurry of double chops!
Nikki: Send you into the post!
Candice: Tope on you!
Shayna: I don't care who I face.
Nikki: catches another tope and gets her Finlay on
Some Full Sailors: Let's go Candice!
Other Full Sailors: Nikki Cross!
Nikki: puts Candice in the Tree and stomps on her
Kairi; Interceptor! focuses on Candice Double stomp!  Anchor hold!
Full Sailors: Kairi!  Kairi!  Kairi!
Nikki: sleepers her
Candice: dropkicks them both, then focuses on Nikki Chop flurry!
Full Sailors: cheer
Candice: Corner hip attack!  sees Kairi on the floor Caaaanonbaaaaallllllllllllllll!
Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!
Nikki: gives Candice the Christian DDT into the ramp
Kairi: flies off the apron and hits Nikki with the Kabuki elbow
Full Sailors: This is awesome!  clap clap clapclapclap  This is awesome!  clap clap clapclapclap 
Kairi: makes the international sign for the belt, then goes up
Nikki: cuts her off
Both: fight the other
Candice: Powerbomb
Nikki: Superplex! 

Full Sailors: NXT!  NXT!  NXT!   Mamma Mia!
Meryl Streep: Here we go again!
Candice: DDT (to Kairi)! Simultaneous Flatliner (to Nikki)!  Lionsault to Kairi's back!  One!  Two!
Nikki: Save! Apron hung swinging neckbreaker to the floor!  heads back into the ring for Kairi Backplex backplex backplex!
Candice: Unprettier!  Lionsault!  One!  Two!
Kairi: Elbow O'Clock!  One!  Two!  Three!
Referee: Winner!
Kairi: celebrates, then stares down Shayna from the ring
Shayna: holds up the belt in front of the Tron