Friday, August 3, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Live from Full Sail, it's gloating time
Photo Credit: WWE.com
in memory of nikolai volkoff and brian christopher

Heavy Machinery: come out to a big pop
The Mighty: do not
Announce: debates whether or not they were behind the attack on Tuck a few weeks ago
Shane: tries to throw some hands on Otis
Shane: fails quite badly at this
Otis, In Response: DOES NOT Delayed spinning slam!
Shane: Okada lite!  Basement dropkick!
The Mighty: quick tag and get some hit and run offense on him for a while
Otis: finally gets a back suplex off and tags out 
Tucker: Rights!  Lines!  Double sidewalk slam!  Overhead belly to back suplay!  Cannonball off the apron!
Shane: is a nuisance
Nick: chop blocks him
Street Profits' Music: plays
Street Profits: dance in the crowd
The Mighty: are displeased
Tucker: makes the tag
Heavy Machinery: COMPACTOR!
Referees: Winners!
Street Profits: do a celebratory we got our revenge dance in the crowd
Heavy Machinery: sort of prove they can beat the Mighty at full strength
The Mighty: have something to complain about going forward

Moustache Mountain: come out healthy, focused, and a little pissed
NPCs: are screwed
M2: splut splat GORSH
Referee: Winners!

Full Sailors: Moustache Mountain!  clap clap clapclapclap Moustache Mountain!  clap clap clapclapclap
Trent VII: We're back here in Full Sail!  The last time didn't go our way, which is probably my fault, so let me apologize to Tyler, all of you, and the NXT Universe as a whole.  I've spoken to Mr. Regal; we have a plan.
Tyler Bate: The Undisputed Era...
Full Sailors: BOOO
Bate: ...right?  They tried to take out Trent and tear us apart.  Yes, I threw in the towel, but Trent's health and well being mean the world to me.
M2: slap five and briefly hug
Bate: We want back our titles!  So we're invoking our rematch clause to get them in Brooklyn.
 

Full Sailors: NX3!  NX3!  NX3!  hold up signs
Kona Reeves: talks smack then gets whomped but snaps the rope into 3's neck and puts on a grounded cobra clutch
Nigel McGuiness: He told me earlier he would like this to be called the Kona Clutch.
Reeves: keeps it on
EC3: finally escapes it then Matadors him to the outside before rights, a Stinger splash and a somersault swinging neckbreaker
Music: Owwwww!  Hit it!
Velveteen Dream: Someone is here who still can't get over Royal Albert Hall.  We can talk about it, but you have to come to the Dream's world, and, if you're lucky, bask in the experience.  As you were.  walks away and snaps his fingers, restoring the Tron
Kona: Hawaiian Drop!
EC3: ...kickout!
Kona: OMGWTF STAY DOWN!  JUST STAY DOWN!  JUST
EC3: 3KO!
Referee: Winner!
EC3: (post break in the back) Hey, I just beat "the Finest".  So I'll play Dream's game, we can have a discourse, sidle up to some tea or break bread over a chat.  But this is wrestling; that conversation will turn into a fight, a fight I'll win because I'm the best here, there, or anywhere, the BDE of NXT — EC3.

Shayna Baszler: laughs after the bell rings and sits on the ropes so her opponent can leave
Candice LeRae: dropkicks her to the floor, baseball slide, armdrags, basement dropkick
Baszler: kicks out at 1, then sends C to the floor and works a hammerlock for a stretch with joint manipulation
Candice: gets out from under Very familiar looking step up Owenzuigiri!  Tope!  Flying tornado DDT!  Wild Ride!
Baszler: NOOOOOOOOOOOOPE Kirifuda Clutch!
Candice: I remember the Classic, forget this.  grabs the ropes
Baszler: I said Kirifu
Candice: I said roll through into a double stomp!  Unprettier!  And Lionsaulaugggh
Baszler: PK!  And I said Kirifuda Clutch, damnit!
Candice: fights for a while, then taps
Referee: Winner!
Shayna: Back like deja vu!  puts on a very familiar looking post match follow up Clutch
Referees: break it up
Kairi: And I got another clip that'll daze ya crew!
Referees: split them up
Full Sailors: Kairi!  Kairi!  Kairi!
Shayna: breaks free and kicks Kairi down
Kairi: slowly gets up and she is p i s s e d
Referees: keep them apart again
Full Sailors: Let them fight!  Let them fight!  Let them fight!

Mustache Mountain: We don't need to have tricks up our sleeves. We're not the Era. We don't need them.
War Raiders: ...
M2: ...
Raiders: We made ourselves clear last week; whoever comes out of Takeover champions are a target, and we'll destroy anyone in our way.

Master Regal: I am proud to announce for our Brooklyn Takeover based on prior events that EC3 will indeed face Velveteen Dream, as well as Adam Cole defending his North American championship against Ricochet.

Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#14: holds up his filthy lucre to the camera so we can see his name on it
Full Sailors: ASSHOLE ASSHOLE ASSHOLE
#14: laughs and holds up the belt in time to the chants
Full Sailors: U SUK U SUK U SUK
#14: talking to the belt You think I deserve you?  I think I do, too!  We make such a beautiful couple!  This is MY NXT now!  All I needed was one moment, one opportunity, and it just so happens that I am a man of my word.
Full Sailors: Shut the hell up!  clap clap clapclapclap Shut the hell up!  clap clap clapclapclap
#14: I look so good with this title!  I deserve it more than anyone else ever has!  Take it in, take a moment to enjoy it, because this is what it looks like when the most dangerous man in NXT takes his rightful place at the head of the table!
Full Sailors: D-Bry style NO! chants
#14: Yes, yes, yes! rolls out of the ring and taunts the grandma in the front row he did earlier this year I am YOUR NXT Champion.
Grandma: disagrees, then roasts him on Twitter
Full Sailors: You're an asshole!  clap clap clapclapclap  You're an asshole!  clap clap clapclapclap
#14: gets back in the ring This belt is heavy, so heavy.  Not only did I beat Aleister but your precious Johnny once again proved he's a failure.  He loses.  I win.  smiles bigly
Full Sailors: Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap  Johnny Wrestling! clap clap clapclapclap
An Audible Minority: Johnny sucks!  Johnny sucks!
#14: I ended his fairy tale with my hands cuffed together and put the nail in the coffin of Aleister's mystique. I'm the only man to beat him one on one!  They can fight over who's 2A or 2B but what a huge gap between them and me. I'm untouchable and now not only is this proof I am YOUR champion but NXT is now and forever the A show, thanks to the greatest sports entertainer of all time. sits down mid ring and drops the mic
Incendiary: No man is ever truly GOOD!  No man is ever truly E VIL!
Aleister Black: pissed, marches down to the ring
Johnny Gargano: sprints past him and gets in the ring, spears T and sends him out of the ring after some punches and clotheslines
#14: retreats through the crowd
Johnny: It's not your NXT!  It's not your NXT!  Not while I'M still breathing!  You're only champ because of me!  LOOK AT ME!
#14: does
Johnny: YOU'RE ONLY CHAMPION BECAUSE OF ME.
Black: MASS
Johnny: 
Full Sailors: pop loudly You deserve it!  clap clap clapclapclap  You deserve it!  clap clap clapclapclap
Aleister: grabs the mic from Johnny's hand and sits  You're right; he's only champ because of you.  lays down the mic, leaves
Johnny: recovers on the mat holding his jaw, then later Tweets a (plot) point of interest