Monday, August 20, 2018

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for August 20, 2018

Still the GOAT
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 9) - It can be hard to keep the faith when nothing matters in WWE, and week-to-week, the stories are sisyphean exercises where no one gets to make any traction. But when you're the American fuckin' Dragon, when you get your chance to make something special with a special opponent, you can overcome the malaise, even if just for one night. Last night at SummerSlam, the entire world was reminded that Daniel Bryan is still the best fucking wrestler in the world, that when he is in there with an opponent with whom he has a longstanding grudge against, he can do magic. The finish to the match indicated that he'll probably stay with WWE, which I'm sure is disappointing to many, myself included. I kinda wanted to see him go up against the luchadors of the world or maybe tear shit up in New Japan or whatever. But if him staying in WWE means a bunch of matches like last night with The Miz, I guess it'll be fine.

2. Aaron Nola (Last Week: Not Ranked) - The Phillies are struggling a bit right now, but thankfully, so are the Braves. Additionally, they can count on Aaron Nola coming in like a goddamn hurricane of fire. He struck out 11 batters in his last start and helped the Phillies salvage a win against the Mets in a series that didn't go so hot for them. Hopefully things turn around, and if they do, Nola, a bona fide MVP candidate, should be the guy leading the charge.

3. Marko Stunt (Last Week: Not Ranked) - How goddamn insane was he Friday night at Lost in New York? Yeah, he slipped a few times, but only dorks care about counting botches. His frenetic energy, big-time command of spots, and his ability to bump like a ping-pong ball made him the unquestioned breakout star of the weekend, even if he didn't get the win against the much larger, much more feral KTB. Stunt is gonna be huge if he sticks around the scene.

4. Nick Gage (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He got a decent match out of 2018 Sabu. That's god-level. MDK.

5. Kagetsu (Last Week: 2) - Yes, Kagetsu lost her first match in the 5STAR Grand Prix, but in her defense, she was wrestling an entire gaming company. The capitalists are onto her and her cabinet, but I know she'll pull through.

6. Stokely Hathaway (Last Week: 3) - It's one thing to get stared down and beaten up by the Sandman. It has happened to everyone at some point. That being said, did Wheeler Yuta have to dip his pockets? That's low.

7. Thai Green Curry (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - I had this for the first time on Friday night, and not only was it the hottest goddamn dish I ever ate and still enjoyed, but it was goddamn tasty. It's all I've been thinking of since then.

8. Kairi Sane (Last Week: 4) - Sure, it took the Bret Hart sleeper counter out of the Kirafuda Clutch to get her win, but she's a pirate. She steals victories in any way she can.

9. PCO (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Dude took a shitload of volts to wake up and just murk the hell out of Matt Riddle at Lost in New York. He's not human, and I respect that. Mainly, it's because I too do not want to get murked by a monster supercharged with all the electricity that could take down a bull elephant.

10. Oney Lorcan (Last Week: 10) - Oney Lorcan is BACK TO PORKIN', baby!