Friday, May 24, 2019

NXT In 60 Seconds for May 22, 2019

The fuccbois are back in town
Photo Credit:
Master Regal: based off of last week's show closing chaos makes a match for the now vacant NXT World Tag Team championships at TOXXV with the Street Profits, Forgotten Sons, Allied Strikers and Undisputed Era in a ladder match

PA: SHOCK...the system.
the Undisputed Era: swagger out
Adam Cole BAY BAY: We've heard all the whispers in the back, and got you morons wondering if they're true - guess what: we're going nowhere. We're Stronger than we've ever been and all on the same page. If you're in the back your contract might say NXT superstar, the reality is we own you. We're not going to stop until we run this place, until we're done taking what we want and ending up draped in championship gold. That'll start at Takeover with Bobby and Kyle regaining the belts. As for me, I am an uncrowned NXT World Heavyweight Champion. The Undisputed Era
PA: blares Not Paramore
Johnny Gargano: Let me save you some time, you're getting your title rematch in Bridgeport? Really? Okay. So you're still getting your title rematch in Bridgesport, but tell the truth: you're celebrating right now because you know you can't beat me one on one.
Cole: What kind of idiot are you, Johnny? I won that first fall in New York.
Johnny: You did, you did. I'm going to try to get you to understand simple math, since you didn't shock the school system, that's for darn sure.
Full Sailors: oh dang
Johnny: Since math is hard - math is hard - I'll explain myself very, very, v e r y s l o w l y. Mkay? A two...out of three...falls match means that you have to win
Johnny and the Full Sailors: t w o falls.
Johnny: I won
Johnny and the Full Sailors: t w o falls.
Johnny: That makes me champion! Do you understand, buddy?
Cole: SHUT UP, JOHNNY. You can be as condescending as you want but it eats you alive I pinned you by myself in New York. Come Bridgeport, somehow, come then I'm going to do it again. So as far as tonight goes
Matt Riddle: jumps the Era from behind in the ring and succeeds briefly
the Era: swarm him
Johnny: makes the save
the Good Guys: clear the ring and share a Bro Bump
PA: blares not Paramore

Sean Maluta and Mansoor: both come out to supportive if slightly tepid reactions
Mansoor: Rana off the ropes! .7 Okada dropkick!
Maluta: Yakuza kick! Flying Codebreaker off the middle rope!
Mansoor: Snap German! Slingshot neckbreaker! Suplex cutter!
Referee: Winner!

Queen Cathy: stands outside Master Regal's office where he and the Era are clearly yelling at each other though we can't see any of them
Master Regal: Bugger off!
the Undisputed Era: stomp out of the office and blow past Cathy entirely
Master Regal: comes out and composes himself I've just had to inform those ruffians that their actions last week as well as tonight are not the way we do things here in NXT. So at our 25th Takeover, Roderick Strong will face Matthew Riddle, and in tonight's main event we shall see Riddle teaming up with our World Champion Johnathan Gargano to face Robert Fish and Kyle O'Reilly.
Queen Cathy: Thank you.
Master Regal: Thank you. goes back inside his office

Some Of Us: quietly note that puts a fourth match on what's presumably a five match Takeover card
Velveteen Dream: comes out looking like Janet Jackson's Escape and Rhythm Nation videos at the same time with the North American champion 
Full Sailors: Vel vet een! Vel vet een! Vel vet een!
the Dream: Well, the Dream is in high demand - people want to feel the Dream or touch the Dream, more importantly they want to hold the Dream. But the fact is the Dream is North American champion, not made to touch or feel, and far too big to hold
RegalTron: goes neon blue with Matrix patterning
PA: Look, everyone! It's TYLER!
Breezus: returns to Full Sail
Full Sailors: pop huge, then fire off Breeze Is Gorgeous and Welcome Home chants
Breezus: Prince Pretty IS home.
Full Sailors: uncork another big pop and more Welcome Home chants
Breezus: When I was here I was much like the Dream; everyone was talking Tyler Breeze. But it seems like fashion has left NXT. It seems a little...lifeless, a little dull. There's wanna be impersonators
Full Sailors: oh dang
Breezus: And cheap knockoffs
Full Sailors: oh, DANG
Breezus: And as flattering as that is - believe me, Dream, it's flattering - there can be only one Prince Pretty: Tyler Breeze
Full Sailors: Breeze Is Gorgeous! clap clap clapclap Breeze Is Gorgeous! clap clap clapclap Breeze Is Gorgeous! clap clap clapclap

the Dream: Allow the North American champion to welcome you back the Dream's NXT. We do things a bit differently here because the spotlight demands a real man and not a boy. 
Full Sailors: :O
the Dream: Especially not one that plays cops and robbers.
Full Sailors: !!!
the Dream: Besides, just because you couldn't cut it on Monday and Tuesday nights doesn't mean you get to come back here and demand a spotlight, so run on back home where you belong.
Breezus: Mmm. Disagree on not being able to cut it. But let's say I was uninspired, surely. You inspire me. And the North American championship does as well.
Full Sailors: applaud
Breezus: And an inspired Tyler Breeze? too much, too big for the Dream to handle.
the Dream: Listen here, dollar store detective: maybe you forgot since you've been spending Monday and Tuesday nights in catering, but we do things differently in the Dream's NXT and the line starts outside, so I suggest that's where you start going. YET! I don't wish to leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, so how about a selfie with the champ?
Breezus: laughs loudly A selfie with the champ?
the Dream: This is your only chance.
Breezus: This is a monumental moment, the first time we've been in the ring together.
the Dream: doesn't have all day
Full Sailors: clearly want this to happen
Breezus: looks at them, hears the response and nods I'm in.
the Dream: Throw it up on the Master's Tron, would you?
God's Production Team: does so
Breezus: Note: when you write your phone number on your trunks and nobody calls you up, it's because no one's interested. drills the Dream in the head with his cellie and runway walks out
Full Sailors: pop anyway because fuck it, we're getting Dream/Breezus

Queen Cathy: Why did you lay out the Velveteen Dream in front of the NXT Universe?
Breezus: I'm an NXT OG (that means original guy) and I wanted to introduce the Dream to an inspired Prince Pretty, Tyler Breeze.

Candice LeRae: comes out to a good pop
Reina Gonzalez: not that Blindside lariat! Spinning powerslam!
Candice: gets out from under Codebreaker to the arm! Schoolperson between the ropes! Baseball slide! Shove you into the steps injured arm first! Flying rana off the top! Corner strike party! Missile dropkick! Quebrada!
Referee: Winner!

Shayna and the Underlings: march out after the replays and surround the ring Shield style
Candice: wins for a bit then gets swarmed
Io Shirai: shows up wearing a leather jacket and brandishing a kendo stick
Marina Shafir: tries it
Io: whoops that ass
Jessamyn Duke: tries it
Io: whoops that ass even worse
Shayna: stares up in WTF?
Io: stares back in You Done Fucked Up and whoops. that. ass. then checks on Candice
A Doctor: can expect a phone call from me in roughly 239 minutes and 35 seconds

God's Production Team: makes Dream/Breezus official for XXV and announces Mia/Bianca II and KUSHIDA/GULAK for next week

Matt Riddle: comes out offering Bro Bumps and is wearing kinesio tape on his ribs on a .3 DDP scale
Johnny Gargano: comes out to a huge pop 
Not ReDragon: come out without backup to a cool heel pop
Johnny: convinces Matt that he should start the match
He and Kyle: GRAPPLEFUCK~!
Fish: Johnny superkicks him from the apron after tagging out then eats a series of Riddle open palm strikes and Bro kicks Exploder!
Kyle: in for the save
Riddle: Pele kick! (back to Fish) Three AmiBros!
Kyle: cuts him off at two
Riddle: can't get him up and over for more than two
Undisputed Dragons: work over his ribs and employ quicker tags to halve the ring
Riddle: Powerbomb!
Kyle: Nope guilltoine!
Riddle: NOPE ripcord knee!
Both: tag out
Johnny: hits combination offense on the former champs
Kyle: blind tags in off an O'Connor roll
Undisputed: Chasing The Dragon!
Johnny: ...kickout. (sees Kyle coming) Elbow! (Fish comes in) Owenzuigiri!
Kyle: Here comes the Ax, here comes the Smasher...
Matt: Save!
Kyle: NOPE German
Kyle: Rolling elbow!
Matt: PK off the ropes!
Everybody: down
Every Full Sailor: claps
Matt: Blind tag! Senton, bro! Corkscrew senton bomb, bro!
Kyle: Save!
Johnny: Let's get him. Buzzsaw kick!
Matt: Crocop kick!
Matt: Powerbomb! Flash knee strike!
Kyle: Save by pulling you out of the ring, Bobby!
Matt: goes out to the apron and PKs him
Adam Cole BAY BAY: comes out
Johnny: Tope! beats on him
Roderick Strong: comes out of the crowd and lays out Riddle
Undisputed: HI/LO!
Referee: Winner!
Johnny: Save!
Undisputed: yeahno SWARM!
Cole: Full Sail Last Shot! The NXT championship is gonna be mine! You hear me!?
Undisputed: throw up their gang sign over Johnny's fallen body