Monday, June 24, 2019

The Trash Feud of the Century

Rollins defending the company line online is almost as embarrassing as when his former fiancee leaked pics of him
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Everyone knows that while in the short term, All Elite Wrestling and New Japan Pro Wrestling pose no risk to WWE's financial hegemony, that the Worldwide Leader in Sports Entertainment™ is quaking in its boots because those promotions have what at least Paul "Triple H" Levesque and Stephanie McMahon want — approval from the cool kids. Of course, WWE's response to that loss of critical cache isn't to put on the best show it possibly can while renouncing ties to Donald Trump (or at least not fucking donating to him) and also cancelling its morally repugnant deal with Saudi Arabia, but to shout loudly from all corners of social media how good its product is. While NXT can at least have a claim to being a quality product without reasonable doubt, the main roster slogs through its existence with no such consistency, bright spots coming either at pay-per-views in individual matches or during the Firefly Funhouse. I don't count the 24/7 Championship as main roster so much as it is the wrestlers and Jeremy Borash allowed to use WWE money and a part of RAW or Smackdown each week to have a little fun outside of Vince McMahon's Eye of Sauron-like gaze. I swear, if you tell me that title has any input from the eldest McMahon whatsoever, I will laugh in your fucking face. Anyway.

When the branded-company social media accounts start this artificial hype campaign or when Michael Cole, Tom Phillips, or even Mauro Ranallo repeat McMahon/Levesque talking points on commentary, it's one thing. When the wrestlers, who presumably haven't surrendered their social media passwords to Kevin Dunn or whomever, start in the big hype campaign and then reply defensively to people talking shit on them online, it's a whole other. When the wrestlers, who can't even get employee status with the company, defend the company against all comers, the company looks less like a wrestling promotion and more like a cult. If you're on top, you shouldn't have to kick the other guys when they're down, right? It's how WWE operated when it was kicking World Championship Wrestling's ass in the early '90s and again in 1999 and thereafter. So why not now, when the next promotion in line domestically has yet to run its second show? Could it be that McMahon has always been a thin-skinned prick who has let the years erode his will to lash out at competitors not on his level? Maybe it's his daughter and son-in-law, who don't have the age-old mentality of keeping it to themselves when they're on top. Who knows.

Anyway, you'd think that after last night's Stomping Grounds event that anyone going after a wrestler posting self-hagiography would be in the right. However, what if that person was in fact Will Ospreay, who intimidated a rape victim because it was his mates who raped her, had her blacklisted, tried to get another woman blackballed because she bailed on STARDOM cuz her dad died (telling her that Japan was not a vacation), sits in on smaller wrestling events commenting if anyone in the match does a move he has ever done, and also is willing to go claws out against anyone who dares accuse him or his girlfriend Bea Priestley of nicking moves? Well, then the situation becomes a whole lot worse, because Ospreay is, beyond any shadow of any doubt, the worst and most annoying person in wrestling who is not already associated with WWE. It started with this tweet from Seth Rollins, who admittedly was innocently enough putting over cruiserweight wrestlers whom no one else in the company who hasn't already been associated with 205 Live seems to care about:
It would have been nice to have seen him put the cruisers over without couching it in WWE's self-aggrandizement, but honestly, I'm sure Tony Nese, Drew Gulak (new Champion!), and Akira Tozawa appreciated it. Anyway, if WWE is the King of Undeserved Self-Inflation in pro wrestling, Ospreay is in second place, and the margin isn't as wide as one might think. He saw Rollins' tweet as an invitation to do the equivalent of doing Blue Steel after hitting a flippy move that barely nicked someone:
First off, this tweet is so on-brand for Ospreay that it hurts. It's almost like he took hints on how to promote his brand from Levesque himself. It's almost surprising that he chose New Japan Pro Wrestling over the overtures that WWE made to him way way back when Paul Heyman showed up at EVOLVE and openly courted him. Anyway, I'm sure Ospreay thought that because he worked for little ol' New Japan and Rollins should have been above punching down, that he'd just stuck his knife in to no damage and made a ceremonial good show. He underestimated, however, how much Rollins can get gotten to, almost on the same levels as he himself:
On one hand, I applaud anyone dunking on Ospreay directly, because he's a turd who needs flushing. I can't reiterate how much I loathe that someone with his personality and ledger has gained influence in pro wrestling. It's almost like if the deathmatch circuit continually booked someone who was photographed with Nazis more than once and wrote a song in praise of rape, or if the former second-biggest company in America continued to book an accused domestic abuser, an accused domestic abuser and known rape enabler, and an accused domestic abuser who was witnessed doing domestic abuse but got off because his partner didn't decide to press charges, or if Bully Ray continued to have a job. Oh wait, wrestling is a scuzzball business. But I digress.

Still, imagine trying to dunk on Ospreay and coming off looking like an even bigger dweeb? For one, he snitch-tagged Ricochet, who as far as I know has a decent relationship with Ospreay (I won't hold it against him). The fact that he even replied though feels like an admission of defeat. Ospreay is a fucking dork who is the embodiment of the "I studied the blade" meme, who doesn't respect women, and who thinks every dickhead online like myself who criticizes him is a personal affront. You're the WWE Universal Champion who got to go over Brock Lesnar cleanish. He shouldn't be a speck on your windshield, but here you are dunking on him. It's unfathomable.

It all just goes to show that wrestling is full of scoundrels at worst and dorks at best. The good people in wrestling, like Dick Togo or Sami Zayn, are few and far between (and if I'm being honest, Zayn probably needs to answer for the racist El Generico gimmick, and yes, I'm fully aware I'm complicit for having liked that gimmick when it was active). Twitter beefs like this only mollify that point of view. You have someone who shouldn't be punching down going at it with a piece of shit self-promoter, and when the latter comes out looking good, well, it's bad for everyone involved. Still, for as much pain as Ospreay has caused in his career so far, it's nothing compared to the machine that Rollins is defending, which has made independent contractor abuse standard and claimed the lives of so many wrestlers while they were young. I guess that means...
Oh no, no. No. NO. Rollins wins. In no way is posting a Ricky Gervais gif okay.