Monday, August 12, 2019

NXT In 60 Seconds for August 7, 2019

It wasn't just all video packages!
Photo Credit:

Master Regal: brings out the Street Profits for the contract signing
Street Profits: get the crowd hype, try and fail to get the GM to dance
Full Sailors: Go, Regal! Go, Regal! Go, Regal!
Master Regal: shakes the champions' hands, then starts to introduce the challengers
Angelo Dawkins: I got this.
Montez Ford: goes full Road Dogg (meta) on "the next tag team to get their ass kicked by the Street Profits"
Dawk: calls them O'Reilly Auto Parts and Lawrence Fishburne, Jr
the Era: come out scowling
Profits: rock out to the Era's theme in the meantime
Full Sailors: Auto parts! Auto parts! Auto parts!
Bobby Fish: That was FUN-NY, but I forgot to laugh.
Kyle O'Reilly: I remembered to laugh but then I opted not to because it wasn't funny.
Fish: If you're sensitive, cover your ears - you're not on this level, but for the first time in your careers your autographs are in demand. So sign. You stand no chance Saturday, not just because we're better than you bell to bell, but we're funnier too.
Kyle: I have a joke for you: the Street Profits are the NXT World Tag Team champions!
the Era: laugh
Profits: overlaugh
Full Sailors: Shut up, Bobby! clap clap clapclapclap Shut up, Bobby! clap clap clapclapclap Shut up, Bobby! clap clap clapclapclap

Ford: makes a throat slit gesture to end Undisputed Comedy Jam You guys have shocked the system ever since you got here; multiple title reigns, every episode of NXTV, every Takeover.
Dawk: Y'all done beat every team in NXT: AOP, SAnitY, the Allied Strikers, even Mustache Mountain.
Ford: You might be the best tag team in NXT history. So let me ask you this: what makes you think for us losing is an option, now that we finally made it, now that WE got the belts, now that the people see us, hear us, feel us -- what makes you think
Full Sailors: Street Prof its! Street Prof its! Street Prof its!
Ford: What makes you think as far as we've come in our lives that we have any other option but to win! Win! Win! Win!
Ford and the Sailors: WIN! WIN! WIN! WIN!
Dawk: Come Toronto, we are gonna beat that ass
Full Sailors: Beat that ass! Beat that ass! Beat that ass!
Dawk: And THAT is undisputed.
Profits: sign
the Era: sign
Profits: leave while they're signing then hold up their belts on the ramp's apex

Joaquin Wilde: comes out in his Great Value Mustafa Ali garb
Shane Thorne: comes out with his new gear and Tron, powers Wilde to the ropes and taunts him
Wilde: rolls him up I got a lot more where they came from. flips over him, makes an airhorn noise then keeps controlling the arm no matter how many times Thorne temporarily reverses Armdrag! Ropewalk armdrag! Front flip into a dIropkick! Around the world guill
Thorne: Brainbuster! beats on him for a while
Wilde: Honor Roll! Second rope back elbow! Powerbomb!
Thorne: kickout
Both: exchange strikes
Thorne: Giant Eurocut!
Wilde: Pop up upkick dropkick!
Thorne: bails
Wilde: Diagonal tope! Tope con hilo!
Thorne: rolls in at 9.9 then rolls back out
Wilde: hey come ere
Thorne: pulls him by his arm to the outside, then throws him into the steps - the post - the steps - then beats on him again for a while before throwing him in Pump Knee Trembler!
Referee: Winner!

Sure, that's a lot of video packages...and our main event is actually a video package about the end of the Goldie title trilogy...but now it's time for our main event match!

Ah, well. Anyways!

NEXT WEEK: Breezango v. the Forgotten Sons, the Breakout tournament finals between Myles and Grimes, and eventually, the Best Coast Bias for Takeover: Toronto II: Workrate Boogaloo. Be there!