Monday, August 5, 2019

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for August 5, 2019

A fitting winner.
Photo via @SCITournament
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Makabe (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He won the fifth annual Scenic City Invitational, joining an elite class with Jimmy Rave, Joey Lynch, Matt Riddle, and, uh, well, let's not talk about the other guy to win, okay? I should've seen it coming, actually, but he's a deserving winner no less. They don't call him the Wrestling Genius for nothing. I haven't been able to watch the SCI yet, although I will make it a priority with my shiny IWTV sub. However, I've heard that his first round match with Tony Deppen was no less than a slapper. I'd seek that one out first if you don't have the time to watch the whole thing.

2. 30-50 Feral Hogs (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I am not debating Willie McNabb's claims that wild pigs overrun his yard within five minutes of his children going out to play. I just think it's funny.

3. Big Mami (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Personally, if the lady who was trying to play with my man's heartstrings womped him in the nutsac and a rudo official counted her pinfall on him instead of mine on her partner, I'd have kicked everyone's asses involved. Big Mami is more restrained than I am, which I respect.

4. Moose Tracks Milkshake (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - I had one the other night, and I swear, it was so good that I didn't care if I came down with Type II Diabetes (I didn't... yet).

5. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 1) - Eh, he's just here.

6. Tomohiro Ishii (Last Week: 4) - In the battle with fellow Dad Wrestler Hirooki Goto, he came up short, but that's okay. There is no shame in one dad losing to another dad in the field of combat, unless your son made a claim to the other kid that his dad was superior. However, I'm not sure either one of them has children, which only makes their dadness all the more mysterious.


8. Toru Yano (Last Week: 9) - Gotch/Hackenschmidt. Funk/Race. Savage/Steamboat. Austin/Hart. And now, Yano/Moxley. The great and seminal wrestling matches in history now have a new entry into its Pantheon.

9. Maki Itoh (Last Week: 3) - She stuck her fingers in Danshoku Dino's ass, and then put them in his mouth in an attempt to tap him at DDT. I think that qualifies her as Wrestler of the Year in most states.

10. Otis Dozovic (Last Week: 10) -