Thursday, September 5, 2019

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 272

Robinson, as Kansas City's WR3, could be a better pick than most teams' RB1
Photo Credit: Denny Medley/USA Today Sports
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Fantasy football, how jocks partake in nerdy endeavors. I've been playing for over 20 years, and trends have changed drastically in that time. Right now, for a 12-team draft, you're going to want to find players who can score touchdowns, since the yard-aggregators will be spread a bit thinner than they would be in 10-team leagues. While running backs are still very much valuable players (moreso in fantasy than in real life, as you've seen with the shift in drafting and paying backs in the league). You're going to want to target the guys like Saquon Barkley and Alvin Kamara early. However, what will put you over the top are touchdowns from skill position players. The truth is that the NFL has become a passing league, and I don't see it shifting back ever. So that means that if you're drafting later in the first round, you should probably target a wide receiver. If you're lucky enough to get a bellcow back, you should target receivers in the second and third round. If you prioritize running back, you're going to end up reaching for someone like, say, Jordan Howard. Meanwhile, someone like Demarcus Robinson or Mecole Hardman, the third and fourth wide receivers for the Chiefs, may end up outscoring all but the top tier of running backs with the way that they like to throw the ball. Get running backs, but be choosy and pick them in spots. Your roster should always be WR heavy, because the probability for a receiving touchdown is going to be a lot larger than a rushing touchdown going forward.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
What are the five best things about Back To School season?
1. Football Season Returns - I like all sports, and obviously wrestling is year round, but there's nothing that beats plunking down for eight hours on a Sunday and watching the big boys put that ball into the end zone. Of course, the NFL is more my speed, but college football on Saturdays is enjoyable too.

2. Fall Flavors - People bag on "basic White girls" for liking pumpkin spice, but have you ever considered that it's good? Pumpkin pie rules, pumpkin beers rule. In addition, fall marks the unofficial beginning of chili season. Chili is one of the finest innovations in American cuisine. Plus, apples are back in season. Everyone loves apples!

3. Peace and Quiet Around the House - Kids are back in school, so they're not around to bug you. Plus, when they get home, they have to do homework, so they're out of your hair for other things. Of course, helping with homework can be hard, but at least it's a focused task rather than the nebulous finding something for them to do.

4. Playoff Baseball - The stretch run of the season and the playoffs are some of the best baseball that you'll see. So many exciting baseball games are on television, and you can always look forward to the annual tradition of the Atlanta baseball team choking badly, most likely in the Divisional Series.

5. It's No Longer Hot As Balls Out, Well, Theoretically - Autumn used to have the best weather, but climate change wrecked that. You do get like two weeks between sweltering late summer and early slush-bomb storms, and those are nice.

The closest I can think of is the Flyers Skate Zone in Voorhees, NJ. It's where Combat Zone Wrestling and Women's Superstars Uncensored held events. I'm not sure if they're still active there, because Game Changer Wrestling's prominence has made me not even want to follow CZW. That being said, every "Philly" arena is in Philly: the ECW/2300 Arena, the Liacouras Center, obviously the Wells Fargo Center, Chikara Wrestle Factory, even that armory in the Far Northeast is within Philly's borders. Chicagoland and the Delaware Valley are two different beasts.

Similarly to losing it at Longhorn Steakhouse (I've been so busy at my day job that I'm so pissed I haven't had the chance to blog about this in earnest), it would be at a restaurant. But I'm thinking more up to speed of wrestling. I don't even know who is the target audience for Longhorn. It's not for the salt of the earth, but rich people go to like Morton's or Ruth's Chris. Longhorn feels like the kinda place you go to so you can spend your per diem on company travel on a nice meal within your limits. You know where wrestlers would feel at home at? Waffle House. Losing the title at the Waffle House and then a cook posing for pictures with the belt on while smothering and covering those hash browns? Yeah, that's so appropriate it hurts.

It's gotta have a real meaning, but I've always taken it that the songwriter was bored and was counting down the minutes to when they could leave work. 25 or 6 to 4... o'clock. If I looked it up online, it would be cheating, and I'm nothing if not a cheater. Okay, I cheat when I can, but hey.

Honestly, does anyone even know why Banks took that vacation? Like, people bring up the unsubstantiated rumor that she and Bayley were laying on the floor crying cuz they had to lose the Women's Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania, but I've heard she just wanted some time off, which really every wrestler should want and receive. But I mean, it's funny that that unnamed podcast (and before anyone asks, I don't know what podcast it is) would go in on Banks for causing locker room morale to dip when WWE management does a good enough job of doing that itself. How many male workers you think are depressed because prime spots at big pay-per-views go to Brock Lesnar or Triple H or Goldberg? You can't put on a WWE pay-per-view anymore without having a billion guests, or else Vince McMahon will turn into a pumpkin. So no, Banks shouldn't be punished, and I think WWE, for once in its life, got it right by taking her upon her comeback and putting her against Becky Lynch.

I'm gonna out myself as boug here, but...

1. Chima - Brazilian steakhouses are the best inventions known to man. Chima counts as a chain because it's in a bunch of cities. If you prefer Fogo da Chao, that's fine too. I've never been. Chima is my meat explosion of choice. But anywyay, you don't even need the gauchos; their salad bar is worth the price of admission.

2. Capital Grille - Sure, you can only really go to a place like this on a special occasion or on the company's dime, but my god, if you get to go, the food is exquisite. Like, they go the extra mile for everything.

3. Morton's Steakhouse - It's kinda like the Capital Grille, but it's much more dimly lit. I don't know what restaurants' obsessions with poor lighting is, but the food makes up for it.

4. Texas Roadhouse - Anyplace that lets you throw peanut shells on the floor is good enough by me. Great steaks and they drop all pretense of being fancy? My kind of place.

5. Longhorn Steakhouse - Look, it was either this or Outback, and Outback suuuuuuucks. Longhorn is at least decent. I guess Jericho knew a thing or two.

You could make a case that he's in the top 25, maybe even the top ten, but Mount Rushmore? It's hard for Jericho to compete with the pillars of wrestling. Like, it's not just American wrestling or recent wrestling. Is what Jericho is doing enough to say he's bigger than Rikidōzan or El Santo? Is he bigger than Lou Thesz or Ric Flair? Does he compete with even John Cena? I don't know. The fact that there's so much discussion to be had maybe keeps him out of the top four.

What the fuck kind of question is this? OF COURSE you play "Judas" during sex. How else do you convey to your partner(s) that you are the Judas in your mind? C'mon.

I'd like to say I'd try anything once, but if that shit smells as bad as people say it does, I'd probably end up not being able to get over it to put it in my mouth. It just goes to show that the Jackass mentality didn't begin with that show, I suppose, because you'd have to be really bold to try that for the first time.

The first part is simple. Jericho loses the title at Longhorn Steakhouse, where it is picked up by a busboy. Someone then tries to do one of those viral RKOs on the busboy without letting him know he was doing it. The busboy gets whiplash and the belt goes flying into the lap of Ron DeSantiis, governor of Florida. He picks it up, but as soon as he leaves the restaurant, he's milkshaked by a masked leftist, who then picks the title up. However, he's accosted by police, who steal the belt and claim they "found it on the side of the road." Really A-to-B tale here.

AS for the second part, they'd be stupid not to turn it into an angle. The main event of Full Gear, or at least the semifinal match if Jon Moxley/Kenny Omega is the main event, should be Jericho vs. the kayfabe thief. I have a few ideas. It shouldn't be Adam Page; you shouldn't heel him like that (not for the theft, but for being so petty after losing). In retrospect, it would've been a lot better had they booked Joey Janela to win the Cracker Barrel match instead of Jimmy Havoc, because him stealing the belt would have been a tailor made story to get him a title match. I'm not sure stealing something is Havoc's style. Either way, someone should have the belt being stolen pinned on them to build to the first PPV title defense. It's really a no-brainer.