Thursday, September 12, 2019

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 273

The Guy
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

As someone who has sworn off watching WWE, my answer might not mean much, but inasmuch as Reigns is an ambassador and a prohibitive ace for the company, I would say yes, he is The Guy, at least in WWE. He's a good wrestler, which is more than you can say for Seth Rollins. He's also a bit more diplomatic about things, even if he believes things that I don't agree with. You have to figure that if he hadn't had Vince McMahon scripting him dumb promos and pushing him too hard upon his comeback from a hernia, he might have won people over sooner, especially given that his match with Brock Lesnar at Mania 31 was solid, at least up to the Rollins cash-in. But there are worse people to have in front of the fans as the top dude than Reigns.

Like Seth Rollins.

I would say technically, the longest I've been out of sorts was when I went on cruises, but those are positive things I enjoyed. I'd say the longest I've been out of a routine was when my daughter was born. She was six weeks premature, and we were back and forth to the NICU, well I was. My wife, who got an emergency C-section, kinda had to stay at the hospital to recover. Anyway, it was brutal. My daughter was so small, but she eventually was okay enough that we could take her home. I don't know how I coped with it. I guess Twitter helped. Getting to take off from work was a silver lining as well. I don't know. It was a total reverse from when my son was born, where everything went mostly well. The end result was the important part, having a healthy daughter to complete the human portion of our family.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
How is the Greater Delaware Valley reacting to the first Eagles game?
How should I react to the Eagles first half slow start and second half comeback?
I have insulated myself from anyone whom I don't follow on Twitter. That being said, the reaction was generally positive starting with the second half-opening drive. In retrospect, the Slurs' defense was a strength last year, and I don't think any of the starters played a snap in the preseason. I don't think anyone expected Case Keenum to carve the team up, but at the same time, a few inches change in tackler position and Vernon Davis doesn't score the first touchdown. Who knows how their luck might've changed there. The second half team is more of what the real deal is, I think. I could be wrong, because losses jump out at you from nowhere in the NFL. The Pats lost to five teams last year, none of which made the playoffs. The Falcons could jump out against the defense this Sunday night if the pass rush doesn't get home, but you'd think that game isn't worrisome, right? I would slot the Eagles as a 10-6 team at least, with better records possible with some luck.

I want to put him at number one if just for how important he was to so many great Eagles' teams, especially this year's, but Harold Carmichael was a game changer. He might be the most overlooked receiver in history, but he was the first of the kind of hybrid speed/height guys you have today, like Randy Moss or Alshon Jeffery. I think it's pretty easy to slot the first two. After Jackson though, it gets harder. You have all-time great guys who haven't logged as many seasons like Terrell Owens and Jeffery (although by the time his career is over, Jeffery might be a solid number three), and then you have guys who played here forever but were a step below like Fred Barnett or Jeremy Maclin. However, Jackson is definitely slotted behind Carmichael for a solid one-two punch.

How about if I have two AEW roster members? Give me Chuck Taylor, Orange Cassidy, and Drew Gulak, the Gentleman's Club, for one last run. They have name cache and are Chikara homegrown guys. What's not to love? In all seriousness, while that trio would be amazing, I get the feeling that there are three valid choices for the final slot. The first is probably the most obvious, the Proteus Wheel. It's strange they haven't been announced yet, unless one of them left Chikara on the sly. The next most likely is The Whisper recruiting Joshua Wells and another Crucible guy as an act of defiance against Ophidian for dropping him from his team. The final least likely but enjoyable team nonetheless would be the Minnesota Wrecking Zoo of The Estonian Thunderfrog, Wildcat, and Airwolf. Either way, I'm awaiting that Trios announcement with bated breath.

5. New York Giants - Normally they'd be higher, but they're so pathetic that I can't hate them with the same tenacity. I also really like Saquon Barkley.

4. New Orleans Saints - I don't think I'll hate them forever like the Giants or other two divisional rivals, but the incessant whining from not only their fans but the TEAM itself is irritating. I've never seen someone carry so much venom for a team his owned last year than I do Alvin Kamara for the Eagles. Also, Sean Payton fuckin' sucks.

3. New England Patriots - They win all the time and are joyless fuckbags about it. Also, they skirt the salary cap by underpaying their starting QB because said QB has a boutique nutrition business he makes money from and my team doesn't.

2. Landover Racial Slurs - All owners are bad, but Daniel Snyder might be the worst. Also, the team name is racist.

1. Dallas Cowboys - Jerry Jones may be worse than Snyder. Their dynasty in the '90s was boring. Also, they've won three playoff games in two decades and are still on at 4 PM or later on Sunday every week. FUUUUCK.

Everything. Like, it's different when you have kids because now you gotta take care of them. Too many dads don't realize it, so they're deadbeats or they leave home. Like, I have two more reasons to stay alive and keep chugging along, because if I can't help my kids have a better life than me, what kind of selfish dickhead am I?

My favorite wrestler ever to win King of the Ring is Randy Savage, but my favorite reign as King has to be Owen Hart. I mean, at the time I hated him, but that was because he was an excellent heel. No one made being the King a part of their character like Hart did. He went all in, much like he did with the Slammy Awards, and that's why he was the quintessential King of the Ring.

People boo him. Vince McMahon will listen to crowd reactions over anything else, even ignoring the fact that every metric that defines a successful business has suffered in the last two years. Maybe some of that is pushing his failson Shane as a top heel despite being loose as fuck and not good at anything but glowing in the dark. Maybe some of it is the fact that RAW and Smackdown felt like they were in reruns (at least up to I stopped watching, which is all I can speak on). But I mean, if a live audience is booing Corbin, McMahon will push him.

1-2. Super Mario Bros. 2 and Zelda 2: The Adventures of Link - The two sequels to Nintendo's wildly successful anchor franchises disappointed a lot of people. However, as a veteran of both of those games, I can tell you that they're good.

3. Final Fantasy VIII - I see a lot of people saying they liked this game all along, but even back in the message board days, people dumped on this game. It's better than VII, I'll tell you.

4. Castlevania II: Simon's Quest - Another NES sequel that people seem to like to hate on nowadays, I thought it was a fun riff on the franchise. The stuff that the Angry Video Game Nerd harped on didn't really bother me either.

5. Nightshade - I have no idea if this game is hated or not, but the fact that I'm the only one I know who seems to have played it is, well, maybe a condemnation? Dislike through apathy is a thing.

I don't really have reasons for them, but Daniel Bryan, Terry Crews, Aubrey Plaza, Laverne Cox, and Danny DeVito would all be a hoot to watch team up with the gang, especially DeVito, who has experience with his own gang. Maybe he'll bond with Scooby and get an apartment with him.

Misinformation that feeds a confirmation bias is more powerful than the truth could ever be. If you want to slag Kenny Omega, or anyone for that matter, who cars about the facts?