Friday, October 11, 2019

Twitter Request Line, Vol. PA Turnpike Between New Jersey and Valley Forge

Say it, Frenchy, SAY IT
Photo Credit: FoodNetwork.com 
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

This is a tricky question, because yes, I can say New England clam chowder is the best soup, but it's also a soup that has the biggest disparity between good and bad. The best clam chowders are briny and creamy with just-right clams and hearty potatoes. The worst clam chowders aren't fit to use for wallpaper glue. It's also not like you can only find the worst shit at a few places. No, the split is like 50/50, and there's no middle ground whatsoever. If you want the "best on average" soup, it's probably boring old chicken noodle soup. The best chicken noodle soups, usually homemade by an old grandmother (if it's a Jewish grandmother, it's matzoh balls instead of noodles), are up there with the best chowders. The worst chicken soups? Eh, they're still not so bad, and they have medicinal properties, I swear by it. So if you want the best of the best, it's New England clam chowder. If you want reasonable assurance of quality, it's some kind of chicken broth soup with starchy shit in it.

As an aside, do not ever say to me the words "Manhattan clam chowder." That shit suuuuuuucks.

Politicians and the media that they foster do not want to blame themselves for the way society is. You see it when they blame video games for Columbine or rap music for inner city violence or Ozzy Osbourne for teenagers turning to satanism. Everyone wants a scapegoat for problems real or imagined because it's easier than taking the blame for themselves. So of course rather than thinking that maybe policies, articles, or platforms given to grotesque misogynists that they enabled or allowed caused the problem, it's the stupid Joker movie. The kicker is that Todd Phillips, the movie's director, went on a tour blaming "social justice warriors" for the decline of comedy, making the movie an even easier target. But this low-hanging fruit is rotten. Joker isn't going to create a legion of incels. I don't know if it'll speak to them, because I am not at all interested in seeing it, but I mean, if it does, then that hatred was already in their hearts in the first place. It got there by watching Fox News and seeing their friends retweet dipshits like Ian Miles Cheong and Stefan Molyneux onto their timelines. The culture war isn't a culture war at all. They just want you to think it is so that they don't get any of the blame for the casualties.

Worse than Vince McMahon is a tall order, but it might be accurate, given that even in their operational malfeasance, the Bengals also have been competitive from time to time. Their Ickey Woods/Super Bowl years were the equivalent to Rock 'n Wrestling, and the most recent run under Marv Lewis is their Attitude Era, I suppose. McMahon has had more success in his field though, so it's a tough call. Maybe the Bengals are worse than WWE. I'm so, so sorry.

Okay, here goes:

"You know something, Vikings? I still hear you flapping your gums about 38-7. Even as you beat us last year, you can't get it out of your mouths. Why? Because you can't get the job done when it matters. You couldn't two years ago when you came into our house. You couldn't last year against the Bears when it meant getting back to the playoffs. You couldn't in four Super Bowls and countless big games when the stakes were highest. You're chokers, plain and simple.

This Sunday, as we ride into your house, where we won the Super Bowl you couldn't get to, we will show you again that you can't get it done when it matters. For you, your season is on the line. For us? It's another stepping stone back to where we belong. So you go ahead and prep your Skol horn. You won't be blowing it. Your asses are ours, and if not, then I will face God and walk backwards into hell. But you and we both know that's not going to happen. The only thing we're facing is that Lombardi Trophy, the one that belongs to us. go birds."

Back in the days before Monday and Sunday and Thursday night football, late Sunday afternoon games were reserved for the heavyweight battles of the week. They still are in a way. Sunday night gets the MARQUEE match, but those 4 PM slots are reserved for the next biggest games for the most part. Time zones play a role too, as there are fewer teams in the Mountain and Pacific time zones and thus there's no need to load up games at 4 PM so that they can watch at the reasonable hours of 2 and 1 PM respectively.

It's gotta be Private Party's Gin and Juice top rope rana into a cutter, specifically the one two nights ago on Dynamite. I don't think there's any wrestling move that is as played out like that triple relay, but the precision involved in both the Gin and Juice and that last throw to beat Jose Altuve at home are comparable.
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