Friday, March 6, 2020

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 288

The GOAT
Photo Credit: Betsy Peabody Rowe/Getty Images
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 280 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

A long time ago, the NFL video game license belonged to a company called Tecmo. Before Electronic Arts tried stark realism with the John Madden franchise, Tecmo's engine had four passing plays, four running plays, and no specialized defensive plays. The better a player was, the more superhero the quality. As a child who didn't like the Raiders because I wanted to be on my dad's good side (he hated them and the Broncos, two teams I don't mind today), so I never gravitated towards Tecmo Bo Jackson. Conversely, it was the other all-world running back from that era that I gravitated towards. My dominance in Tecmo Super Bowl with the Detroit Lions while running for 4000 yards a season with Barry Sanders made me grow quite an affinity for the player who was probably the best running back of his era, as well as perhaps all-time. I always tried to pick him in fantasy. I was sad when he retired. I always watched the 1 pm Thanksgiving game because of him. He was a special player who only set foot in Philadelphia to lose to the Eagles in the playoffs.

Protected user @earthdog asks:
Top five places in the Delaware Valley to get sausages.
The funny thing is I don't really get sausage out. It's something I eat at home when I or my wife or parents cook it. I will say that apparently the places outside Home Depot sell good sausage. Anyway, here are my top four kinds of sausage that I get locally and one restaurant sausage I really like
1. ShopRite Hot Italian
2. Magglio Hot Italian
3. Swiacki's Kielbasa
4. Swiacki's Hot Italian
5. The linguica at Chima

The answer is simple, Faxanadu. I would make a reboot of the game with a few expansions to the original map, and then I would plan a sequel documenting the travels of the hero after he completes the quest at The World Tree. Faxanadu was such a fun game that combined the best elements of the Zelda and Mario series into a sprawling epic. I think they should put the original on the NES Online for the Switch so everyone can see why.

Yes, and the winners would be the people at the party sampling them as long as the cooks aren't totally incompetent. Here's what I would imagine a lineup to look like:

Tot Poutine - Natalya (Canada) You might have to go to Quebec for the unpasteurized curds to make this with, but I guess what America has is good in a pinch. Basically, it's poutine (cheese, gravy, fries) only sub the tots for the fries. You could do the same thing for New Jersey native Liv Morgan but instead call them Disco Tots (since New Jersey's Disco Fries are an analogue to poutine).

Firecracker Gyoza - Asuka (Japan) - Gyoza are a traditional Japanese dumpling dish. Make them with hot sausage filling and make a sriracha-soy dipping sauce and boom, instant party food.

Snackin' Bacon - Otis (The Gym) - You know Dunkin' is selling snackin' bacon now? It's such a good idea in principle without having to rely on Dunkin's flimsy-ass bacon. You must use thick cut bacon or else Otis will eat you.

Boiled, Unsalted Potatoes - Dolph Ziggler and Robert Roode (USA) - White people culture must be represented.

I'm starting to realize maybe electoralism was never a viable option. Direct action has always been the way people get fast-tracked to having the United States overthrow their governments to put the right-wing ghouls back in place. What would happen if direct action happened here though? All the effort put in to organize for Bernie Sanders could organize powerful protests and actions to disrupt fascist government activities. I would write more, but if I went into greater detail, I'm sure some bullshit snitch of Wrestling Twitter would report me to authorities. So use your imagination. Electoralism might still work, because Sanders isn't dead in the water yet. But something to think about if Joe Biden wins the nomination or if Donald Trump gets another term is maybe getting out in the streets and using the sheer power of people to get changes isn't the worst idea.

Any day Icarus goes without getting that monstrous back tattoo removed, nothing that anyone can do would ever top it. Honestly, Jack Gallagher's tattoos aren't that bad. They evoke an old sailor-type ethos which fits him if he's not gonna dress up like a British fancy lad trying to win a seat in Parliament for the Tories. Cody's tattoo is indefensible though, not because it's on his neck, but because it's a terrible tattoo that's on his neck. To get a tattoo of anything on your neck requires a massive amount of privilege since most people can't get jobs with shit like that. It's wrong as hell that they can't get jobs, which is why if you can get one there and you do, you have a responsibility to make it good at least. Cody, well, he did not. But it's still not nearly as bad as the monstrosity on Icarus' back. AS for who will get the next tattoo? My bet is John Cena will get a woman strangely resembling Nikki Bella on his right arm but he'll deny that it's her. He seems to be on that trajectory after Bella left him.