The Wrestling Blog

So, Chyna Won an AVN

2012-01-28T12:40:00.000-05:00

In better times...
Photo Credit: WWE.com

So, for those who don't know, pornography isn't just there for our masturbatory needs. They actually treat it like art and have awards. Last week, those awards, the AVNs, took place, and apparently, everyone's favorite wrestling hermaphrodite Chyna took home the award for Best Celebrity Tape. I haven't seen any of the tapes involved - if I were the type who would look at porn on the Internet, it would be through free, Youtube style sites - but really, I wasn't all that jazzed for Chyna when she was "attractive" and in Playboy. What would make anyone think I'd want to see her get rammed in the brown eye NOW? Then again, people's perversions are different, and what someone is attracted to is their own business.

That being said, I'm surprised she remembered winning, since apparently, she was a hot mess on the red carpet. Blog bro Burnsy had the 411 on her antics earlier in the week, so check it out if you haven't already. Either way, at least she's excelling in one area of her life, I guess. I don't know what's harder on the body, porn or wrestling, but given her choices, I'd be willing to bet Vivid treats their workers a little better than TNA does.

Customer Service

2012-01-27T21:00:00.001-05:00

The customer is always right.

That maxim is a stereotypical statement made by some in management at retail places, but it's not entirely correct. As someone who worked in retail for the better part of four years at the end of college and before I got into my career, I've seen customer behavior that was less than optimal. That being said, I was also terrible at that job. I really wasn't suited to help people find every day things like their size pants or style of socks. Granted, maybe if I were in a medium where I actually gave a shit about what I was selling, like, say, wrestling, I'd have been a lot better.

Oh, one can't sell wrestling, right? Nope, wrong. Wrestling, like any other form of entertainment, is customer service. It doesn't exist without the fans, so the fans should be treated with respect. So, when stuff happens like the Lenny Leonard flap from last week, it really just saddens me. While I doubt Leonard speaks for DGUSA/EVOLVE, it's still not good when a voice of the company lashes out at fans like that. It's not even the discourse about what the show was marketed to. I can understand when they have to deal with fans who think they know better than the promoters all the time. Granted, I feel like I had a point, but then again, I've never booked a wrestling show before. It's hard, and it's something I probably won't know. But to call customers a "shit" crowd because they booed the crap out of a match, and that they're always a shit crowd because of a function of where they're at is pretty low.

So maybe I shouldn't be surprised that he got into another tiff with another Tweeter, TJ Hawke of 411 Wrestling, over the release of the Jeff Petersen Cup. I can't really repost it here because Leonard has since protected his tweets, but it got pretty heated, and the DGUSA ring announcer pretty much told Hawke off because he was tired of hearing the complaints about the show being delayed. Hawke wanted to give them his money, and a representative of the company berated him for it.

Maybe it's a good think Leonard turned off his public tweets, because he's not the kind of person who should be representing a company. The thing is that Gabe Sapolsky in the past has been very fan friendly, very customer savvy. There's a way to deal with customers and a way not to. Early in 2011, I ordered DDT4 from PWG. I waited and waited, and a month passed and I didn't get it. So, I e-mailed PWG and asked them if it had shipped yet. They totally forgot, and without any further correspondence, they offered to send me Card Subject to Change III. They didn't have to, but they did, unsolicited. THAT's great customer service. That's being proactive to keep the person who wants to give their hard-earned money over so that they're happy with more than just the thing they're buying.

There's a difference between being a confident, smart business and being a shithead to people who would otherwise hand over their money. Even if those companies generally are run by people who do right by the fans, a few people with their own strong, antisocial opinions can ruin the whole thing.

Surprise! Who Could Unexpectedly Enter the Rumble This Year?

2012-01-27T14:45:00.000-05:00

Will he be a surprise entrant this year?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

One of the staples of any Royal Rumble is the surprise entrant. Each year, there's at least one wrestler, be it a return or a one-night-only blast from the past, who comes in and becomes a tasty Easter egg for the fans at the arena and at home. Last year it was Kevin Nash and Booker T. Two years ago, it was Beth Phoenix and a returning Edge. A vast array of wrestlers have made their comebacks at the Rumble (like Goldust) or just had one last hurrah (like Mr. Perfect), and with thirty (or last year, forty) slots available, it's the perfect time to give the fans a familiar or cool face. Nearly everyone loves the idea of the surprise except for those militant WWE low card devotees who'd rather see Trent Barretta, but hey, there's never a unanimous consensus for anything.

So, who might be coming back this year? Well, we already know Mick Foley is a nostalgia entry. It would be disingenuous to call him a surprise because we already know he's there. Who will join him, if anyone?

Injury Returnees: There are six names I could see coming back in this year's Rumble, with four of them being plausible and the other one kinda out there in leftfield. The outside shot return to me is Kharma, who would be cool as all get out if she came back, partially because she's Kharma, partially because she'd be only the third woman to compete in the Rumble ever. That being said, there has been no word on whether she's had her baby yet, which means she's probably still expecting right now. Plus, if she competed pregnant, she'd be taking up two spots and I doubt anyone would want to see that... hey, why is no one laughing? Assholes.

He's due back soon
Photo Credit: WWE.com

That leaves us with a quintet of guys who remain candidates to make big returns in the Rumble match. The first is Nash, who I doubt will get as good a reaction as he did last year, thanks to his POOPIES FACE MAEKINGS all over the RAW main event scene in the last third of 2011. Next up would be last year's winner, Alberto del Rio. Ricardo Rodriguez has said that del Rio won't be coming back, but who the hell knows if he's working people or not. The third guy would be Rey Mysterio, who has said he wanted to come back in time for a WrestleMania match. That would be hella cool, actually, and I think we might just see the diminutive former Champion back. Another likely comebacker would be Christian, who's been sidelined since the fall. It would be interesting to see how he'd return and how the fans react to him, but hey, any Christian is good Christian. Besides, if he got his ONE MORE MATCH against Daniel Bryan? HOLY SHIT, that would be epic, but let's not get too ahead of ourselves here.

However, the lock to be a return this year is Randy Orton. When it was first reported that he was injured, the prognosis was up to half a year on the shelf, but that was a gross overestimation on the doc's part. He's reportedly ready to make his return at any time, and hoo boy, wouldn't it be something if he came back and made Wade Barrett make the "OH SHIT" face like Chris Jericho did in 2010 with Edge's big comeback? I would bet my life on Orton coming back, but fortunately, I don't even bet on legitimate sport, so I'm safe just in case he happens not to show up.

Legends: Last year, when Nash and Booker showed up, it was out of the blue until about 24 hours before the event, when word of their arrivals in Boston leaked and Twitter ASPLODED over talk of spoilers and having their Rumble ruined. Keeping out of that debate, there's a reason why those deets didn't leak until Rumble weekend... there's almost no way to telegraph which legends will show up. That being said, I have a good idea as to two that have a slim chance of being there.

Rumble = Da Muddaship?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The first is Dusty Rhodes. Big Dust has made a few appearances on WWE TV in the last couple of years to give a hand to his younger son Cody, and again, Cody would play a big role in why Daddy would be there this time. There has been a groundswell of support to see a Cody/Goldust match at WrestleMania this year, and what better way would that be kick-started by having Cody eliminate Big Dust in his attempt to unsully the good name of the Rhodes family, then by having Dustin go apeshit and eliminate Cody. If WrestleMania weren't so frontloaded this year, and if there wasn't this sinking feeling that they are going to try and shoehorn some bullshit Divas "action" in there at the expense of guys who are, y'know, actually good, then I'd say this was a perfect venue for the Rhodes family feud. Still, there's always the chance this happens and the match occurs at, say, Extreme Rules.

The second one I had in mind would be Rikishi. They just debuted another big dancing fool type character in Brodus Clay, and I think there would be a very cool moment to be had with the two dancing together in rhythm before the Funkasaurus dumped him over the top rope. Outside of those two, the field to me is wide open. Maybe Tully Blanchard or Arn Anderson make an appearance to help hype the Horsemen's induction into the Hall of Fame. Roddy Piper seems to be a standby every year (Although apparently he made a threat to cause bodily harm to Vince McMahon, so this year could be out of the question). Who knows.

Others: Rob Van Dam has been heavily rumored to be making an appearance at the Rumble. While some might find this cool, I'm in huge DO NOT WANT territory for burnt out former ECW stalwart. I don't know what the problem is with him, if any, but he just seems so uninspired and lazy to me any more. Plus, I don't need to see the contrived-ass moves in a WWE ring again. I thought we were upping our game here.

Other than RVD, the rest of the pool probably consists of guys WWE future endeavored over the last couple of years. Those names range from inspiring (Chris Masters, Mike Knox, MVP) to meh-inducing (nearly everyone else). Jason Mann floated Carlito as an option, and that could be cool given that his brother and cousin are now Tag Team Champions. I'd be remiss if I didn't say that ZOMG BROCK LESNAR OR GOLDBERG OR STEVE AUSTIN could return here. Yes, they could, but I doubt any of them would.

Debuts: People rarely if ever debut at the Rumble, but I feel like I should cover my bases and at least mention that yes, Antonio Cesaro, Seth Rollins and Dean Ambrose all have made dark match appearances in the last couple of weeks, and yes, there's always that outside shot the Rumble is where they make their first splash.

I think I got everything. Now watch as none of these people I mentioned make surprise appearances at all. Then again, that's why they call 'em surprises.

Future Endeavors 1/26 Power Poll: Oops Again

2012-01-27T10:50:00.000-05:00

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Natalie Im-bro-lia PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Chris Jericho (Last week: 1)
2. Brodus Clay (4)
3. Daniel Bryan (2)
4. CM Punk (3)
5. Kane (7)
6. John Cena (8)
7. Dolph Ziggler (Not rated)
8. R-Truth (9)
9. Sheamus (10)
10. Cody Rhodes (NR)

And again, like an asshole, I forgot to submit a ballot again. Here's what my ballot would've looked like.

1. Jigsaw and Hallowicked - To compare how the reaction changed during this match from an exclusively Briscoes crowd to a surprisingly pro-Chikara group, it'd be like if somehow, they showed up to a NASCAR race, starting putting on a production of The King and I and got everyone to cheer for that over Left Turn Mayhem.

2. Chris Jericho - He actually said something!

3. Dolph Ziggler - I think someone watched the 2001-02 run to the Super Bowl by the Patriots and thought "Someone should make a run to the title with that kind of squeak-by streak". For reference, the "tuck rule" game was probably the 1/2 match for Ziggles.

4. Davey Richards - That ROH main event was like expecting a kick to the nuts and getting a hand job.

5. Daniel Bryan - William Regal asks for a World Title match, Bryan calls him out on his dancing. Bad form, Bryan, because Regal dancing is AWESOME.

6. Adam Cole - Who said a staph infection was always a bad thing?

7. R-Truth - He would've been higher if he dressed in drag and tried to woo Miz.

8. Johnny Ace - Next week, Johnny Ace will save his job and celebrate with a quiet fist bump and a sandwich with pepper ham and cheese, because that's how Mr. Excitement rolls.

9. Kevin Steen - He'll be higher next week on account of his tapir ownership.

10. Robert Roode - I feel bad for TNA. They've got great talent but worse captaining than the Costa Concordia... oh, too soon?

We Almost Had "Real American" On the Black Album, Brother Wanking Motion

2012-01-27T08:35:00.000-05:00

Not really related,, but yeah.

Via NME

The great and mysterious flubby of KSK passed this article to me wherein Hulk Hogan claims he was almost the bassist for Metallica. Here's his quote:

I used to be a session musician before I was a wrestler. I played bass guitar. I was big pals with Lars Ulrich and he asked me if I wanted to play bass with Metallica in their early days but it didn't work out.

Now, by early days, does he mean pre-Kill 'Em All, or is he one of those clueless shitheads who think Metallica was still underground before "Enter Sandman"? Regardless, I'm not sure how much delusion is contained herein, but it's funny to think of the Hulkster rocking out on stage as part of the most commercially successful heavy metal band of all-time (and in my opinion, the greatest, but I don't want to make that claim and get dozens of comments saying I'm an idiot because Slayer/Iron Maiden/Black Sabbath/whoever is the best). I'll say this, if he did join, then Lars wouldn't have been the biggest asshole in the group. I can only imagine the promos Hogan would've cut on Napster.

Anyway, the part I don't call bullshit on in any of these claims is that Hogan can play bass. I think anyone who's seen the following video can attest to that:

Friday Five: The Royal Rumble

2012-01-27T07:40:00.000-05:00

It's Sunday!

1. Who gets the "Diesel push" this year?

2. Buy or sell: The Royal Rumble is WWE's best PPV of the year in most years.

3. Has Money in the Bank surpassed the Rumble as the main portal for guys to "make it" as main eventers?

4. What surprise entrants do YOU want to see?

5. What was the greatest Rumble match ever, excepting 1992? (Just to make this a bit of a challenge)

The Chikara/ROH Joint Card Has a Name

2012-01-26T22:10:00.000-05:00

See this match and more in Chicago Ridge on April 28th

...and that name is Synergy. To be held April 28th at the Frontier Fieldhouse in Chicago Ridge, IL, the doubleshot already has one match booked. The Briscoe Brothers will defend their ROH Tag Team Championships against Jigsaw and Hallowicked in a match that has a LOT to live up to after their Homecoming 2012 tilt. Nothing else has been announced, but both cards will end up having interpromotional matches on them. In fact, the ROH social media machine put out a call for match requests, and the top result was overwhelmingly Eddie Kingston vs. Kevin Steen. Hell, that was my choice. That being said, I think that while they'd make great enemies, they'd be better friends. Steen and Kingston vs. Davey Richards and Tony Kozina? I think that would be a pretty sweet match that could have a story easily built into it.

No matter what ends up being put on the card though, the fact that they're working together tickles me pink. I said this would be a good idea in ROH's year end review. Obviously, something like this doesn't come together overnight, so I accidentally suggested something that they were more than likely already working on (which again, explains the shots at ROH that Kingston took in his post-Grand Championship victory at High Noon). Regardless though, I'm happy this is happening. ROH needs the color, and Chikara needs the validation. It's a perfect partnership, and I hope it's one that plays out for longer than the Synergy event lasts.

The Chikara event starts at 2 PM, and it will be called "Hot off the Griddle". ROH's half will be called "Unity", and it will start at 7 PM. Readers and wrestling fans in Chicago or in road tripping distance of the Windy City should definitely go and see this. I know I'd be ready to plunk down tickets for both events without even seeing another match get scheduled yet, but then again, I'm a rabid fan of good wrestling. This feels like it'll be good wrestling to me.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

From the Archives - Tournament for Tomorrow Semifinal: ACH vs. Pinkie Sanchez

2012-01-26T21:25:00.000-05:00

B-Stroud keeps telling me that ACH is amazing. He has good taste in wrestling, but sometimes, I just can't really buy too much into the hype until I see the people in person. This is the second match I've seen ACH in. The first time was mind-blowing, but he was in there with AR Fox, a guy who has fireworks in his arsenal himself. One match is a fluke. Two is a trend. ACH again was impressive in a different way against a different opponent in Pinkie Sanchez. I have nothing against spot machines at all, but I love when guys are able to go to the mat and show that they know the basics. Colt Cabana actually talked about it extensively with PAC on last week's Art of Wrestling podcast. ACH showed great aptitude in the fundamentals, which makes the jaw-dropping pyrotechnics he can do that much more impressive. I don't wanna spoil too much about this match, but both guys bring it in this match, and it's probably my favorite match of the tournament so far.

R-Truth Is a Wascally Wabbit

2012-01-26T15:40:00.000-05:00

Truth can keep imitating Bugs as long as we never see him in drag... on second thought, that might be cool!
Screen Grab Source: WWE Fan Nation Video

Did R-Truth's shtick look familiar to anyone Monday? If it didn't, I wouldn't be surprised. It hearkened back to some cartoons that are pretty old. Like, I'm talking old enough to have been around for a decade or so when my parents were kids. Looney Tunes reruns still get play today, but it feels like they're not nearly as popular as they were when I was a kid. But this isn't really a time to throw rocks at kids and yell at them to get off my lawn. It's to appreciate a really awesome thing that Truth did Monday.

WWE treads a fine line between insulting comedy and really funny, really goofy stuff that works. Obviously, this line is different for everyone, and given that I'm a fan of Chikara and some of the more absurd elements of PWG, maybe I'm not the best person to gauge as where the line actually is. That being said, there's a new study out there that suggests WWE's demographic is spread out a bit more evenly than was once thought, meaning there are more people who would remember Bugs Bunny with a smile. That wascally wabbit isn't a cultural icon for nothing.

The point is also that pro wrestling is hardly a place rife with cultural originality. A lot of the best stuff that has gone through the annals of WWE, WCW and the rest has been full of winks and nods to pop culture. So, if they're going to pick something to pay homage to (not transparently rip off, but pay homage to), why not make it something that's not only familiar to millions, but also pretty damn funny, regardless of generation as well?

It's the End of the World As We Know It: 2012 Royal Rumble Preview

2012-01-26T13:15:00.000-05:00

What does he have planned?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Chris Jericho, in the first complete sentence he uttered since returning to WWE on January 2, said that the world was going to end at the Royal Rumble. It was the first time his character seemed as cryptic as the "It Begins" videos had painted it, but it was enough to drum up enough intrigue for a Rumble match that until RAW this past Monday. Then again, the Rumble is one of those rare matches that doesn't need a story to be compelling. Sure, it helps when there is a clear narrative going in, like last year's run to destiny by Alberto del Rio or the year before when Shawn Michaels went batshit crazy trying to win so he could use his guaranteed WrestleMania title shot not on either of the physical belts, but on Undertaker's streak.

What could that phrase mean? How could Jericho bring about the "end of the world" through one Rumble match? I have my guesses. He could be forming a mega-stable that would interrupt the Rumble match. He could refer to him winning bringing about the end of WWE's nascent world with CM Punk as WWE Champion. He might be a prophet and be suggesting that the cataclysmic extinction level event that people extrapolated from the end of the Mayan Calendar will happen not in December but in January. What is my guess? Well, I have no guess really. In a weird way, I trust that whatever Jericho does, it'll be awesome. Even if WWE has a tendency to fuck things up, Jericho, when left to his own devices, always delivers. I get the feeling he has some measure of creative control over where he's going anyway.

Still, Jericho isn't the only possible winner or even marquee entrant here. There's Randy Orton, who may not have officially been announced back but who will more than likely be there. This is also an even-numbered year, so if we're going with the trend, he's definitely in line to win (after Cena in '08 and Edge in '10 coming back from injuries). They recently announced that in an "unprecedented" move (excuse me while I make a wanking motion), EVERYONE is eligible for the Rumble, which raises the interesting possibility of CM Punk winning, either after having been screwed by John Laurinaitis earlier in the night or in an attempt to try and unify the titles at WrestleMania. The Miz is already pegged for the #1 spot, and we all know that more iron men (#1 or #2 hole winners) have won the Rumble than wrestlers who've entered at #30.

As difficult as the Rumble is to predict this year is the World Championship match, a triple threat steel cage affair featuring two big, angry giants chasing the increasingly entertaining though dickish titleholder. This Daniel Bryan/Mark Henry/Big Show match could go any of three ways, although the lean I'm getting feels increasingly more likely that Bryan retains here. That being said, Bryan and Henry by themselves already tore the house down in a cage on the holiday live Smackdown. How will adding a third wheel affect the match quality? Honestly, I'm skeptical of how good an idea this is, but at the same time, I feel like there's a great story to tell in the ring, and if anyone can do weasely coward running way from two monsters, it's Bryan.

The WWE Championship match already seems to have played out with a very much cut-and-dried premise - if John Laurinaitis screws CM Punk out of the title, he'll probably end up getting fired on RAW the next night by Triple H. The premise of Trips showing up on RAW at all gives me douche chills, by the way. Seriously, he gets no more good will from me. Anyway, while this match is harder to call than, say, last year's title match involving Dolph Ziggler, I feel like there's going to be one of two scenarios going down here. Either Punk wins clean despite shenanigans, or Punk loses the title under shady circumstances that kinda implicate Laurinaitis but aren't entirely clear that he was the one behind them.

That leaves the other big match announced for the Rumble, the EMBRACE THE HATE match between Cena and Kane which should be a fucking Coal Miner's Glove match after the shit Kane's pulled in the last month or so. I've been in the minority of actually liking this story up until this past week, when Kane put Zack Ryder on the shelf in a match and segment that was the equivalent to Peter Griffin banging his knee and going "THHHHHHHHHH-AAAAHHHHH" for way too long. I'm not sure how the match is going to be, but hopefully, it doesn't get too schlocky. Then again, Punk/Ziggler is going to be fantastic. The WHC cage match has potential to be great. The Rumble is the Rumble. I guess there's room for error with this match.

Then again, if Cena/Kane isn't all that good, is it going to matter? The world's ending anyway! Well, if Armageddon (the cataclysm, not the shitty WWE PPV) happens as a result of Chris Jericho winning the Rumble, then I'd say the Earth had a good run, and things aren't going to get much better than this.

Kevin Steen: Appreciator of the Tapir

2012-01-26T09:30:00.000-05:00

We all know Kevin Steen is a zoo enthusiast. Obviously, that means he likes seeing exotic animals. Last night on Twitter, he made reference to his zoo affinity with his plans for 2012:

2012 will be my busiest wrestling year yet! Many skulls to break, careers to ruin, companies to destroy, titles to win and animals to see!

I thought it cliche to ask the man about his wrestling plans, mainly because I've born witness to them being made across two major indie promotions in 2011 and in the first shows of '12. So, I asked him his opinion about my favorite zoo animal ever:

What's your opinion of the tapir? They were always my favorite zoo creature.

Here's his reply, to my utterly delightful surprise:

They're pretty fucking cool. I used to own one in '89.

I couldn't believe it. Kevin Steen owned a tapir? I thought he was fucking with me until I had my crack team of ~~Photoshop experts~~ Internet researchers find this rare picture of Steen with his pet tapir:

Photoshop credit: Andrew Southern of Wrestlegasm

HOLY POOP! There it is, in the flesh, evidence that Kevin Steen indeed had a pet tapir at some point in his life. I have it on good authority that its name was "Bootsy" as well. Okay, maybe it's not good authority, but hey, that's a good name for a tapir, right? RIGHT?

TWIOT: The Beauty of Grey - Paterno and Legacy

2012-01-26T08:25:00.000-05:00

This is not a black and white world
To be alive, I say the colors must swirl
And I believe that maybe today
We will all get to appreciate
The beauty of grey

How should this man be remembered?
Photo Credit: Eurweb

Joe Paterno did a very bad thing, or more specifically, he didn't do a very good thing. Inaction often times leads to worse consequences than actually doing a terrible thing. Not to take any gravity away from Jerry Sandusky or the heinous crime he stands accused of, but a monster often times is able to carry on his sadistic and outrageous crimes only with the help of men like Paterno who do nothing or even worse, with the active abetting of other men like Graham Spanier and Tim Curley covering his actions up.

Joe Paterno was also a decent human being with all other things considered. Let's forget the fact that he was a great college football coach; men like Bobby Bowden and Nick Saban were or are also great football coaches, but their characters were called into question all the time (for things that make the crime Paterno stands accused of seem like child's play, to be completely fair). Coaching football has nothing to do with the person one is. It was his stance on civil rights, his philanthropy and his presence in the community that made him someone to admire for reasons other than his prowess calling Xs and Os on the sideline.

It is entirely possible for a man to have both great and loathsome qualities about him. It seems to be the meme, however, that either someone should eulogize the man for being this great pillar of morality or that they should condemn him for his silence in allowing several young boys have their innocence absolutely obliterated by a monster of a man, and there's no way anyone should get peanut butter in the other's chocolate (and vice versa). Whatever happened to nuance, to hearing a whole story, to shades of grey?

In life, it's very rare that someone is completely evil or completely saintly. The closest we've come in the last 100 years to my reckoning has been Adolf Hitler, whose atrocities have made any eulogies of him equivalent to anathema. Other than that, who has led a life worthy of only scorn? Is there anyone who led a life worthy of nothing but praise even? As quoted to start this entry from Live's "Beauty of Grey" (off their 1991 album Mental Jewelry), this is not a black and white world. We need to appreciate that people aren't one- or two-dimensional automatons built for good or evil, but that we're all human beings. Some of us have more good qualities, some have more bad, and all of us are going to project one side of ourselves to others more strongly, whether that's fair or not. IF one were to tell a victim of Sandusky's criminal sexual abuse that they should appreciate Paterno for his charity work or if one were to tell a survivor of childhood cancer who was the beneficiary of the THON charity that Paterno donated to generously that he deserved nothing but vilification, obviously that person would be met with incredulity in both cases to say the least. But for the rest of us? Yeah, a little bit of perspective goes a long way.

Extreme reactions in most cases are almost never the right reactions. I think we're seeing that now to an extreme, with those supporting Paterno seeming almost cultish and religious in their absurd devotion and selective deafness regarding anything negative and those who are against him taking up the makeup of an angry, pitchfork-wielding mob ready to tear to shreds any positive memory that people might have of the man. Excuse me if I think both crowds seem silly. Then again, the man just died, and time has not allowed people to settle down in their fervor. If we're still divided into camps with extreme blinders on in a year or so, then I'll be disappointed. The sad thing is I won't be surprised though. In a culture where political discourse takes on an extremism-or-die approach, it's not a total shock that the tone of Paterno's memorial has taken this divisive profile.

Still, I do believe that maybe not today, but some day, we will all get to appreciate the beauty of grey, and when that happens, this country will be a far better place.

Outside the Squared Circle, Episode 3: Sarah Sprague

2012-01-25T22:15:00.000-05:00

The first recipe in Sarah's guac-fest, recipe by Margery Miller Shanoff
Photo Credit: Sarah Sprague

Episode 3: Holy Guacamole!

This month's non-'rasslin extravaganza features the football foodie herself, Sarah Sprague. In the lead-up to the Super Bowl, she's been ramping up the recipes on her site, including a run on reader-submitted guacamole recipes of varying sophistication. We get so inside baseball on guacamole that every listener is going to want to go out and make their own. We also discuss the food scene in So Cal as it relates to the rest of the country. There's sports talk too, as we break down the Super Bowl, begrudgingly admit that yes, Eli Manning is a pretty good quarterback and about how disappointing it was that the Eagles didn't take flight. There's some hockey talk, including speculation on if Sidney Crosby will ever play again, and to close things out, Sarah has an epic story of trolling in the age before high speed Internet.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

The Rumble Stats Video

2012-01-25T20:45:00.000-05:00

Yeah, I'm a bit video happy this week, but I love when WWE does stuff like this. Very interesting stuff.

Meme Alert: Josh Matthews, Insensitive Interviewer

2012-01-25T18:35:00.000-05:00

Josh Matthews seems to have a knack for asking the questions that set wrestlers over the edge. He almost made Big Show shit a brick last month after losing the World Championship in record time, and this past Monday on RAW, he induced TEH POOPIEZ FACE on John Cena with an untimely question. It seems WWE has stumbled on an unintentionally awesome gimmick for Matthews, the insensitive backstage reporter! Check 'em out after the jump.

Photo Credit: WWE.com

I Can Has Cheezburger provided the meme builder.

"I Accept My Fate"

2012-01-25T11:40:00.000-05:00

"Okay"
Photo Credit: WWE.com via Geno Mrosko

The utter brilliance with the John Laurinaitis character is that it's very hard to tell whether he's acting or whether he's just being himself. With that, it's unknown whether he's no-selling being about to put in the Go 2 Sleep, or whether he's acting brilliantly, quietly accepting his fate and eating a knee to the face like he's been expecting this moment to come since September. Because I like the guy, I'll pretend it's the latter.

Your Midweek Links: Remembering JoePa, for Better or Worse

2012-01-25T10:45:00.000-05:00

A polarizing figure in death

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week:

Self-Shilling:

- Two episodes of the podcast this week! Episode 37 has Alyssa Kay on to talk about AIW's Girls' Night Out 5... [Episode 37: Yoshi Tatsu Battles the Pink Robots]

- ...and Episode 38 sees Jason Mann FINALLY return to the show to talk about the Royal Rumble and Joe Paterno. [Episode 38: Axis: Bold as Brother Love]

- My Camel Clutch Blog piece on why WWE should definitely keep marketing to the PG audience [WWE Is Right to Aim for the Kids Market]

- My latest for Cageside Seats, where I argued ROH should return to having a million challengers for its World Championship [The Indie Corner: A Variety of Challengers to the Ring of Honor Championship]

- Speaking of ROH, they came back to Philly Friday, and it was awesome [We Missed This: ROH Homecoming 2012 Review]

- My wife and I went to Bonefish Grill, and here's how it went. Spoiler alert, you should probably go because it's good. [Holzerman Hungers]

Wrestling Links:

- Seriously, if you're not reading Mitch's Thursday RAW Thursday, then what the hell is wrong with you? [Fair to Flair]

- Linked it yesterday, but it's worth linking again: a dream match scenario between Kana and Hailey Hatred [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- WSU and NCW:ff are teaming up for a talent exchange [Ring Belles]

- An alternate universe where Rey Mysterio came up in the mid-aughts instead of the mid-'90s [The Majesty of Wrestling]

- Jason Mann and Joe Drilling review the main event to the final Starrcade ever. [Wrestlespective Radio]

- Lawler vs. Ali, the match that never happened but should've [Kentucky Fried 'Rasslin]

- The Boss Lady gives out the Report from the Fort Award to Best Villain to only the bestest villain in the whole wide world, your friend and mine, Johnny Ace! [Wrestlegasm]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Why SOPA getting derailed was a good thing, replete with pictures of Kelly Brook in sexy clothing [With Leather]

- It's the Puppy Bowl starting lineups! [Animal Planet]

- Josh Zerkle examines whether defense really wins Championships anymore [The Go Route]

- Bill Barnwell examines who the real goats Championship Sunday were [Grantland]

- Oddly enough, Philadelphia isn't all that angry about the Eagles not making the playoffs. [The Classical]

- A humorous look at the culinary offerings of this year's Super Bowl host, Indianapolis! [SB Nation]

- Crystal-balling the top 10 box office flops of 2012 [Pajiba]

- A Rotten Tomatoes comparison between Drive, which was snubbed for a Best Picture Oscar nomination, and Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close, which received one [Buzz Feed]

- 10 actors who hated their own films [Mental Floss]

- Surprising number of rape jokes on network sitcoms lately [Vulture]

- Taco Bell is introducing breakfast, capitalizing on the burgeoning market of stoners who are up early enough to eat breakfast. [Food Beast]

- The Whiskey-Water Trick... amazing [Buzz Feed]

- On why batting order isn't all that important [Crashburn Alley]

Paterno:

Here are the best of the JoePa commentaries, memorials, obituaries and et cetera.

- Spencer Hall, SB Nation

- Ashley Burns, With Leather

- Dan Levy, Wide Left

- Bethlehem Shoals, The Classical

- Michael Weinreb, Grantland

- Holly Anderson, Campus Union

- And finally, Idiots on the Internet who thought JoePa was a couch, SB Nation

The Best Moves Ever: Busaiku Knee

2012-01-25T10:05:00.000-05:00

KENTA is famous for giving the world the Go 2 Sleep for the most part. Personally, I hate the move and think it rarely ever looks good, whether done by KENTA, CM Punk, Hallowicked or whomever tries to do it. I far prefer his other knee-based move, the busaiku knee. Ted DiBiase of all people has taken to using it, but the original is better. Here it is, IN SUPER SLO-MO.

Wrestling Six Packs: Wrestling Cities I Want to Visit

2012-01-24T22:30:00.000-05:00

Would love to be live for one of these events
Photo Credit: John Hyperion/DDS

I live in the suburbs of one of the greatest wrestling cities in America. Philadelphia, despite being the WWE's second or third market back in the territorial WWWF days, still holds an important place in wrestling history on several levels. That being said, it's not the only wrestling mecca in the country or world. Here are six places I want to go for reasons of being a fan of oiled up men and women play fighting in their underwear.

1. Chicago
Why: SHIMMER, AAW, Resistance Pro, Home of the best WWE crowds ever

One of the things that frustrates me the most about SHIMMER, as I mentioned in the Hatred/Kana piggyback post today, is the lag time between the live shows and the DVD releases. The best way to rectify that would be actually going to SHIMMER tapings. I don't know if my ass could take sitting there for two consecutive tapings on two days, but I think it'd be more than worth it to see some of the best wrestling, male, female, intergender or hermaphroditic, in all the land. Plus, there's AAW, the chance to be among a great WWE crowd or maybe even getting some real-deal deep dish pizza with my homeslice Bryce Remsburg. Okay, maybe it would be with my wife, but hey, it's cool to pretend I have friends in the biz, right? Right? Bueller?

2. Atlanta
Why: NWA Anarchy, Abdullah the Butcher's Restaurant

I'm always on the lookout for different wrestling. It's great to watch the stuff I know, but I want to get in on stuff with which I'm not familiar. Enter NWA Anarchy giving me a Southern taste on independent wrestling. Plus, Warner-Robins is just 2 hours south. Rampage Pro! All that traveling around will make me hungry, so as the fine folks at Flair Chop Illustrated would recommend, I'd head on down to Abby's restaurant for some Chinese grub and soul food. The ultimate restaurant for the wrestling fan.

3. Los Angeles
Why: PWG, NWA Hollywood, SummerSlam's permanent home

PWG. NWA Hollywood (with the Grill 'Em All truck parked outside for intermission burgers). SummerSlam. I'd have choices for when I'd arrive into town. If I had my choice, it'd be for PWG, because holy shit, they're my favorite non-Chikara promotion, and that Reseda crowd is legendary. Absolutely legendary.

4. Cleveland
Why: PWO, AIW

It's amazing how under the radar a wrestling town Cleveland has become. In addition to giving WWE Dolph Ziggler and The Miz, they have two fine independent promotions in AIW and PWO. I really wish I could hit up Girls Night Out 5 this Sunday and then watch the Royal Rumble at Melt Bar and Grilled afterwards. Thus is life.

5. Austin
Why: ACW, Live Best and Worst with Brandon Stroud

I always like to live on the cutting edge of wrestling. Well, more accurately, I hate when something's big and influential and timely and I come in after the buzz is gone for the most part and it's "over". I missed out on ECW until they were on the cusp of PPV. I didn't get into Chuck Norris Facts until a year too late. I don't wanna miss out on Anarchy Championship Wrestling after it's bubbled over its tipping point. Plus, B has offered me a place to crash, and hey, maybe he'll show me some great Vegan places to eat. Or I could sneak out and hit up a place with great brisket. I have options.

6. Tokyo
Why: Are you fucking stupid?

I would go into puroresu overload. Plus being in a crowd that doesn't normally react. And don't forget the sushi. Man, the sushi.

Zack Ryder Is Bruce Wayne (But That Doesn't Mean I Want to Hear the Owen Voice)

2012-01-24T21:20:00.000-05:00

ZOMG ZOMG ZOMG
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Let's just for a minute pretend that Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler using the same voice that Lawler and Michael Cole used last night to describe Zack Ryder's "broken back" to describe Owen Hart's death isn't the issue here. I know a lot of people really felt that offended - and feel that offended EVERY time the solemn voice gets broken out - but that's not really the issue here for me. The problem isn't that it's melodramatic either. The whole story has been a schlockfest to date. I mean c'mon now, how is the syrup-drenched segment where Ryder couldn't change a damn tire any less corny than the Owen Voice? I still enjoyed the hell out of that.

The thing that kinda bummed me out most is that THIS was the cheeseball route they decided to take, not the total extreme opposite. Why not have Lawler flip the fuck out that this is the worst thing we've ever seen on WWE TV? Then Ryder can have corny hospital skits where he's recovering from his broken back while Kane just runs rampant on WWE TV. Then, they fix Ryder so that he's better and stronger than before, and he finally rids Gotham City of the menace that is Ba... err, well, I think people can smell what I'm cooking here. C'mon now, pro wrestling isn't THAT original in their story material, so why not rip off the best? I know what the nerds are all thinking. What about Azrael? Well, maybe John Cena could take care, spike his hair and don the headband until Ryder is recovered, only he doesn't have Ryder's signature restraint. Heath Slater, we hardly knew ye. Okay, so maybe that's NOT the best way to go.

Okay, maybe I'm the only person who'd want to see WWE embrace the silly, but the story worked so well when Ryder and Eve were running around the arena like dumb teenagers plucked out of a John Carpenter movie. But anything would've been better than the Owen Voice. Seriously.

Davey Richards Trolls His Detractors, His Detractors Predictably Flip Out

2012-01-24T19:40:00.000-05:00

Is he working on his standup act?

My main criticism of Davey Richards has been that he seems like a guy who'd rather be doing MMA. I wrote a whole post about it last year. That being said, opinions can change and critics can go soft over time. I still don't think he's the best in the world, but after Friday at ROH Homecoming, I'm not convinced he's indie wrestling's answer to post-move-to-ECW Kurt Angle either. The most impressive development in the last week or so has been the development of a sense of humor.

Richards decided he'd poke some fun at the people who have those criticisms, so he took to Twitter with this missive:

Pro wrestling is what I do to pass the time between jiu jitsu classes.

Even as one of the most ardent haters of his in-ring game, I even got a laugh out of it when it was linked to me. The real kicker as to how Kevin Steen replied to it:

Hey, @TheJimCornette, proud of your champ now?!

It's a total troll, and Steen, the man who is coming to destroy Richards and immolate Ring of Honor, played into it. So of course there was a vocal part of the audience that took the bait. It was a great moment in trolling.

Of course, it isn't to say that maybe there wasn't a kernel of truth there. There are people who've met him who've had bad experiences with him. I can't begrudge those opinions at all, but at the same time, what I've seen in the public arena just leads me to believe this is just good natured fun.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

The Parity Model: Is the Landscape of Sport Informing Wrestling Protection?

2012-01-24T15:45:00.000-05:00

A moment that would've been better preceded by wins
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Let's for a second pretend the NFL is rigged. I know there are those among my readers who will swear it is anyway, but whatever, let's pretend those readers are right. The New York Giants have made the Super Bowl despite going 9-7 in the regular season, going up against a Patriots team that treated its own conference like a scorched earth campaign with how dominantly they went through the year. If this were a WWE matchup, it would be the equivalent of Dolph Ziggler heading into WrestleMania despite dropping a bunch of matches to questionable competition against a John Cena who just spent the rest of the year OVERCOMING THE ODDS.

In the face of things like the Giants run to the Super Bowl happening, or the St. Louis Cardinals eking into the playoffs in baseball and then running all the way to the World Series, it's becoming increasingly less unlikely that a team that didn't dominate its regular season can get hot at the right time and win its league Championship. Again, if sports were rigged, this would seem like a shitty way to protect its title contenders, wouldn't it? Well, maybe it would, but at the same time, it doesn't matter how shitty a team does in the lead up to the playoffs, if they get hot at the right time, they will almost always have a built-in fanbase that's ready to cheer them on regardless of whether they went 15-1/102-60 in the regular season or 9-7/83-78. That's the difference between sports and sports entertainment; sports teams don't always need to win every game for support, while wrestlers kinda need to have the wins to back their credibility up, at least at the beginning of their careers.

So with that in mind, is WWE's seemingly obsessive complex to be compared to legitimate sport driving them to book wrestlers who aren't already established as true top level guys? The evidence is there. There are start-stop pushes, bullshit parity match results that end up leaving guys feeling like their wins and losses amount in the same frequency and just a feeling that anyone could win any match. While the "any given Sunday" approach works in sport because the fanbases are built in, in wrestling? No, it doesn't work like that, at least when a guy's on the way up.

When they get to the top, and there are matches between the Cenas, Ortons, Takers and other main eventers of the world, then the "any given Sunday" approach works. However, that model doesn't work for the Ryders, Zigglers and Kingstons of the land. In order to get their fanbases, they have to win matches, prove they're worthy. Even a guy with all the charisma of the world needs to be established first. That isn't to say they should always win and never lose, but at the same time, there has to be a feeling that they're worth rooting for. Again, even Rocky, who has more charisma in his smegma than 10 John Cenas, needed to win matches on his way up before he was able to job to guys like Hurricane Helms without losing his shine.

All this goes back to show how limited WWE Creative is. I posed a rhetorical question on Twitter as to why not WWE held its writers to the same standards as its wrestlers, who by and large are great at expressing the material given to them, even if it's subpar. I got answers back as to the caliber of writer that works for WWE isn't going to be the same one that would want to work for them over a Hollywood movie job or a TV writing gig. I feel like those responses missed the point. If someone wanted to write for The Sopranos, they shouldn't be writing for a wrestling show. It should be people who are fans of the product and who know what it takes to make good stories and help wrestlers become popular. Obviously, this isn't the first time anyone, myself included especially, has made this argument, but it's definitely what happens when TV writers get put into an environment where they're inundated with the idea that wrestling should mimic sport. They take the wrong tropes and amplify them instead of looking at what made the guys that they inherited as main eventers (everyone from Undertaker all the way through Randy Orton).

So we get shit like Daniel Bryan treading water as a main event level guy before cashing in his Money in the Bank briefcase as somewhat of a mirror image of the way the Cardinals snuck into the playoffs and won the World Series. They don't understand that the situations aren't analogous at all. And that's a shame. While wrestling is not a sport, elements of sport pervade throughout, and the writers would be wise to ignore the elements that don't work and focus on the ones that have worked for over a hundred years.

This Won't Be Shaq's First Brush with 'Rasslin'

2012-01-24T13:20:00.000-05:00

h/t Hugging Harold Reynolds' Tumblr Page

The weirdest part of that picture? Look at how skinny Shaq is compared to the Hulkster. Shaq's never been a small guy.

Cross-Promotional Blog: DDS' Dream Match II

2012-01-24T12:35:00.000-05:00

In the blue corner...
Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

The Dirty Dirty Sheets, a blog which is the foremost source for quality writing about puroresu, independent wrestling and especially joshi on the Internet, has posted their second in what I can only imagine is a series of attainable dream matches that exist in wrestling today. Their first post, Kana vs. Sara del Rey, actually happened twice in America. I have yet to see the first encounter, but their Chikara match was just aces man, aces. Their second offering also features Kana, but her opponent this time takes on a far more unfamiliar flavor, at least to me. Hailey Hatred is Kana's dream tango partner this time around. Hatred is a name known to fans of midwest indies as well as joshi observers for good reason. She may be the best female wrestler in the world. Better than del Rey, better than Cheerleader Melissa, better than Manami Toyota, better than even Kana. Of course, I'm going off reputation here, as I've never seen the woman ply her trade in the ring. However, her list of accomplishments is EPIC.

First off, she is the first gaijin ever to win the JWP Openweight Championship. For those who may not think that's a big deal, that title has been around for almost 20 years and had been around the waists of such joshi legends as Dynamite Kansai, Ran Yu-Yu, Kaori Yoneyama and Toyota. It took 18 and a half years to get the title onto an American. Conversely, the AJPW Triple Crown Championship was held by a gaijin, Terry "Bam Bam" Gordy, within two years of its inception. The joshi scene has been slower to integrate American women into its fold, but it has been for good reason. How long did it take for American women's wrestling to become serious business? For the longest time, the best that our women had to hang their hats on was Madusa/Alundra Blayze. She was a good performer, but she lapped the domestic competition. Now, we're finally really getting a good crop of female wrestlers who are developing a history. While it could be argued that if Hatred didn't break the native wall, someone else would have, it's disingenuous. She did it, and holy shit, was she good doing it.

In the black corner (giving Kalamity the what for)
Photo Credit: Gregory Davis/DDS

Yes, it wasn't like she was just someone getting a token reign to show that "Hey, Americans are welcome here too!" She's wowed audiences and become held in as high regard as the joshi stalwarts over there, including Kana. Then again, she was gangbusters over here too, which is probably a big reason WHY she was chosen to go over and become the star she's become overseas. See, East Coast fans like myself have a nasty habit of taking lightly what happens in the swath of land west of Philly and east and north of Reseda. It's a habit we have to break, because there has been some great action going on between the coasts for much longer than the here and now. Hatred made her name in AIW as well as IWA-Mid South, which again was a little bit better regarded than most other indie promotions in that area but still was made into somewhat of a joke because its owner Ian Rotten had (and probably still will continue to have) this nasty habit of opening and closing the company willy-nilly.

Now, in the DDS post, they lay out several spots in Japan where this match could happen. That's all well and good for people with the patience and/or means to keep up with joshi live or even via DVD. He also mentioned SHIMMER, but they have such a lag on their DVD releases. If one doesn't catch the tapings live, they're waiting for months before getting to see what the privileged few who get to sit live in Berwyn get to see. So, with all due respect to John Hyperion and his excellent writing and photographing staff at DDS, here are a few other locations where Hatred/Kana would definitely play out to a great audience in America:

Chikara - This is the no-brainer choice, mainly because Kana has familiarity both with the office, the fans and the roster here. With their touring structure, Chikara is the company best equipped to get the most out of appearances by both, whether it's at King of Trios (which if it happens this year, will happen in the fall rather than the spring), a double-shot weekend or even at a hypothetical JoshiMania II: The JOSHENING. Obviously, Hatred/Kana would be the headline match for one such card, but with Chikara's progressive views on how to structure wrestling cards, we might end up seeing other big time matches featuring opponents that they may not have in other companies. I'm not just talking Sara del Rey, who would be an option in several other companies, but wrestlers like Mike Quackenbush, Manami Toyota (again, talking American crowds here), Eddie Kingston, Jigsaw, El Generico, Colt Cabana or even Akira Tozawa. Seriously, how much money would I pay for tix to an Easton/Reading doubleshot featuring Tozawa/Kana and Hatred/Jigsaw one night and Kana/Hatred the next? ALL THE MONEY, that's what.

Ring of Honor - Obviously this option has the most exposure. They have TV and an entrenched iPPV audience. The Sinclair show hypes the match, and the iPPV is the stage. The rumor is that they're talking about jump-starting the Women of Honor again. Mia Yim, del Rey and possibly Saturyne (the masked woman of the Chikara invasion) provide a good foundation, but it needs a lot more fleshing out. Enter Hatred, who has with her the "best in the world" style resume that plays out well in the ROH environment. Where does Kana fit in in this equation? Well, she could be the Morishima to Hatred's Danielson, the KENTA to Hatred's Hero. This as a Final Battle 2012 marquee match, added to a potential Kevin Steen/Davey Richards nuclear war, could make the event the must-see indie card of the year.

Dragon Gate USA - Obviously, with the connections to Dragon Gate in Japan, Gabe and company have more of a networking advantage across the Pacific than any other company. I know, I know, Toryumon isn't exactly in the middle of the joshi hivemind, but at the same time, location is everything. All it takes is initiative. I think this could be the best venue for the match inasmuch as replicating what they'd do in a Japanese promotion. Read, it would be the closest to "real" joshi as possible. The main stumbling block for DGUSA is the almost utter lack of woman involvement other than Reby Sky parading around as a valet. Then again, this would be a HELL of a match to kick off a dedication to women's wrestling, am I right?

Pro Wrestling Guerrilla - From a pure airline mileage standpoint, Reseda is the closest venue to Japan for this match to happen. PWG also has had a great history of bringing over the men, so why not start importing female wrestlers over too? Along with Chikara, PWG has been on the cutting edge of the high indies for the last several years. I have no doubts that PWG would give this match the respect it deserves, and wouldn't it be unreal to have the backdrop for it be the best indie wrestling crowd in America? Seriously, it would be fucking magical.

Anarchy Championship Wrestling - Much like Chikara, ACW is progressive as fuck when it comes to card construction. The only reason why it's not as good a location as Chikara is optimization. ACW usually runs their shows one a weekend with a few exceptions, so the only match we'd get out of their appearances there would be Hatred/Kana. Then again, that's staring down a restaurant crawl and "only" getting to eat at the Brazilian steakhouse (think Fogo de Chao, although my establishment of choice is Chima... mmmm, Chima *drool*). In a way, this is the perfect venue for a Hatred/Kana match, actually. It's far less PG than Chikara, which gives the women much more violent options to play with. It's got far less of an "old-money" booking attitude than either ROH or DGUSA, and it has a far more extensive history of women being treated as equals/superiors to the men than PWG. While it's the least-known option out of the five (and a damn shame that this is the case), it might be the best atmosphere for this dream match.

No matter what the venue though, this match needs to happen in America. Even if it is in SHIMMER, the wait for the DVD release would be well worth it. Again, major props need to go to John Hyperion and the DDS for coming up with this concept, but it totally needs to happen in America as much as it needs to take place in Japan as well. Indie promotions of America, get your shit together and make this match happen!

Jericho Speaks!

2012-01-24T10:36:00.000-05:00

All that silence is broken to promise the end of the world as we would know it. The question is, does Chris Jericho feel fine? I know I do.

Instant Feedback: RAW Is Ryder's Broken Back? Wut?

2012-01-23T23:20:00.000-05:00

DID YOU KNOW: WWE announcers used the same solemn voice when Owen Hart died as they did tonight when announcing Zack Ryder's fake injury? Yep, the fake melodrama with this shit ruined what was an accidentally good story. I feel like if they were going to keep going with the horror movie thing, go all out and make it as absurd as possible, like Ryder getting ~~a beej~~ a kiss from Eve as being his Popeye spinach. Ah well. Not everything is perfect.

Of course, following a show as great as it was last week was going to be tough, and they did okay in some respects. The Johnny Ace/CM Punk stuff was really good, except for the fact that Triple H is drawn back into the proceedings. The last time Punk was on a roll, Trips screeched him to a halt. Hopefully, he stays FAR away from Punk (who'll move onto a possible Rumble winner in Jericho?) and then he's just drawn into his rematch story with Undertaker after he shitcans Laurinaitis.

There was good on this show other than the interactions between Punk and Ace. The Punk/Cena vs. Vickie's Cougar Cubs was a fine tag match. R-Truth-as-Bugs Bunny was OUTSTANDING. Unhinged Truth is the best truth. He also took a NASTY bump going face first from the apron to the floor, so he gets major props from me for that. Holy shit, that was brutal-looking. Miz drawing #1 should be good. It'll be a test of how far he's come as a wrestler if he ends up lasting a long time.

Then there was Jericho's first sentence since coming back. Holy shit, Chris Jericho rules.

Happy Birthday, Nigel McGuinness!

2012-01-23T21:05:00.000-05:00

Happy birthday, mate!

Nigel McGuinness' birthday is today. The legendary independent wrestler turns 34 today. McGuinness was best known as the Sex Pistol-esque Ring of Honor World Champion who ~~unified it with~~ also held the Pure Championship. He then had an excursion into TNA, which wasn't really all that successful for whatever reason. Health concerns have forced him into a retirement tour, but he'll continue to be around as the color commentary voice for ROH. In honor of the man's birthday, here is a video of his best 10 moves. Enjoy!

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

William Regal Campaigning for Title Shot

2012-01-23T16:25:00.000-05:00

YES! Let this match happen in 2012 for the Big Gold Belt
Photo Credit: WWE.com

William Regal has taken to Twitter to campaign for a World Championship opportunity against his pupil and current appreciator of AJ's love Daniel Bryan. Here's his official plea:

I still want to be the first English World Champion. I would like @WWEDanielBryan to grant me a title shot. @WWE pay attention.

As a fan of great wrestling, I'd love to see this happen. Sure, William Regal hasn't really been a factor on WWE television outside of calling matches for NXT (He still does that, right? I haven't been watching...), but at the same time, does it really matter? Regal is very much a legend in the company and going into what the WWE has absorbed into its extended universe (mainly, WCW), his star grows brighter. This, to me, would be analogous to the program Miz worked with Jerry Lawler last year. An old veteran taking on a young Champion for the sole purpose of having a great match to establish the titleholder going into WrestleMania is something I can get behind happening with some frequency.

The rationale behind Miz working with Lawler last year was that Miz needed the rub and some experience working matches in the main event from a guy who knows a thing or two about making the crowd care in the top spot of the company. Despite the fact that no one in the announce team seems to want to give Bryan any credit, he's slowly becoming more of a success from a business standpoint. Also, he's probably the best wrestler in the world, or if not, he's in the top 5 at the very, very least. So what would this match accomplish? I don't know, the first thing would be it would be a fucking incredible match. Sometimes, that's all the rationale one needs to put a contest on. I mean, they've had pretty nice encounters on Superstars and RAW when Bryan was United States Champion, but those were short affairs. Imagine them getting 8-15 minutes at Elimination Chamber *sigh*, while the likes of Big Show, Mark Henry, Randy Orton, Wade Barrett and Sheamus duke it out in the maniacal steel structure to see who gets the pleasure of facing off against the Bryan/Regal winner at WrestleMania? Holy shit, did I just book Elimination Chamber for Smackdown's main event? Yes I did. PAY ME, VINCE.

There also seems to be somewhat of a divide over whether Regal "deserves" a title match. In character, it only takes a small amount of storytelling to make someone seem deserving. For those who like to argue that there's some out of kayfabe reason as to why Regal wouldn't deserve a title shot, they can sit on a railroad spike. The only "justification" Regal needs is a good reason in character to get his match. That's it. Anything else is privy to the wrestlers themselves and the office. No one really deserves to pontificate over his missteps, which he'll freely admit to. No one really has the qualification to say he doesn't deserve a shot over Sheamus/Barrett/[insert wrestler here], because it's not like Regal getting his title match would preclude those other guys from getting their shots at the top.

Sometimes, matches just need to happen. William Regal wrestling for the World Championship feels right, especially against Daniel Bryan. It would be a great match if given the time or the story, so with that in mind, why the hell shouldn't it happen? I struggle to think of a reason against it.

Papa Briscoe: An Appreciation

2012-01-23T11:50:00.001-05:00

Proud papa and dedicated fan of #DemBoys

There are some fans who go to wrestling events who are bitter and jaded and sit on their hands for everything except for when their relatively obscure, arcane or nostalgic favorites get a little bit of a shine. For the John Cenas or Stings or Davey Richardses of the world though, it's mean-spirited booing at best and sitting on their hands at worst. Those fans are free to do what they want, even if that means shitting all over what should have been the last match in ECW Arena history because the competitors didn't beat each other senseless with a vast array of weaponry.

The complete opposite of this kind of fan is the one that goes to a wrestling event and boos the shit out of a guy because they're rooting so hard for the other one. Some people look sneeringly down on these fans as "marks", but in a way, that should be a compliment. Fans who get lost in the experience are the ones who get it. At ROH Homecoming, there were many of these fans immersed in the moment, cheering their favorites (the consensus favorites being the Briscoe Brothers), but the loudest of these was the father of said Briscoe Brothers, one Papa Briscoe.

Obviously, the man who sired two professional wrestlers is going to hoot and holler for his sons to win, and he, like everyone else in the arena at that point except for myself, was loud and vociferous the entire match. Some of his chants weren't PG, but who cares, it wasn't like it was a Chikara show, even if Jigsaw and Hallowicked were fighting under the Chikara banner. While I think wrestling companies are smart to market to kids, there's still a place for adult-oriented fare. By the time the Chikara roster poured out from the back, the tide of the crowd started to change a little bit. That only amplified Briscoe's cheering, making for a very cool dynamic in the arena, especially in the section where Briscoe was located (which was were I was sitting).

After the match was over, like as soon as the match ended, I noticed that Papa Briscoe made a move towards someone who had started cheering for the Chikara team about when Mike Quackenbush came out from the back. It was hard for me to hear, but he had a smile on his face when he went over, and he and the fan shared a laugh and a couple of handshakes. Later on, I actually asked that fan what happened, and he said that Briscoe had come over to him and said "That was a hell of a match" and remarked that the ensuing storyline was going to be pretty cool. That struck me as being exceedingly awesome. Here he was, a guy who was yelling for his kids to destroy those "goofballs in masks" turning off his switch and interacting with someone who felt the opposite way during the match. He got it. Then again, if there's anyone who should get how to be a wrestling fan, it's a guy who raised two kids who would become professional wrestlers, right?

That all being said, I feel like everyone should do themselves a favor and be more like Papa Briscoe when they go to wrestling events. They should allow themselves to become immersed in the pure spectacle, to take the matches that interest them and go full-tilt in reacting to them, not to intend on sitting on their hands. Be a good sport. Wrestling, like so many other things in life, isn't so important that just because a wrestling company isn't pushing the guys that someone wants them to push that it should take all the entertainment out of it. Go big or go home is a mantra that gets overused, but I feel like that it's great advice for going to a wrestling show. Just look to Papa Briscoe for the best example of this.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 38: Jason Mann II

2012-01-22T20:20:00.000-05:00

The Diesel push?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Episode 38: Axis: Bold as Brother Love

Jason Mann of Wrestlespective Radio and Fair to Flair returns to the podcast to discuss the Royal Rumble. We talk about prospective winners, the lack of telegraphing of a winner by WWE, Brodus Clay and his potential role in the match, whether Jericho will win without doing anything and potential surprise entrants. We also talk about the other matches, including a diversion into how Mick Foley is strangely underappreciated. There are some musings about this year's WrestleMania. There's also some talk about the passing of Joe Paterno as well as some quick breaking down of the NBA season.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

We Missed This: ROH Homecoming 2012 Review

2012-01-21T01:25:00.000-05:00

In the new format.

Highlights:

Eddie Edwards was not medically cleared to wrestle due to a staph infection.
Shelton Benjamin called Philly "the buttcrack of America".
Kyle O'Reilly accidentally hit Adam Cole in the corner with a flying forearm, allowing Benjamin and Charlie Haas to hit Cole with a double-team power bomb for the victory.
Tomasso Ciampa was able to take advantage of some chaos and a prone Andy Ridge to get the duke in a four-way, one-fall match also including Mike Bennett and Grizzly Redwood.
Kevin Steen interrupted a Steve Corino promo telling him he was wrong for kissing Jim Cornette's ass and that he should look to earn the fans' respect by becoming the King of Old School again.
Steen tried goading Kenny King by trying to attack a becrutched Rhett Titus.
Steen was also threatened with disqualification by using the Package Piledriver, but ended up winning the match with the F5 anyway.
Post-match, Steen put Titus in a sharpshooter.
Shane Hagadorn tried to offer his services to Chris Hero before his match with Michael Elgin, but Hero rebuffed him.
With only 17 seconds left in the match, Elgin got the win with a corner bomb into a spiral bomb.
Afterwards, Hagadorn came out and berated Hero, getting an elbow to the face for his douchebaggery.
"Somebody Call My Mama" was definitely played during intermission.
Adam Cole replaced Edwards for his match against Roderick Strong. It became a no holds barred match.
Elgin interfered on Strong's behalf, while Edwards countered for Cole, but it was Truth Martini who was the difference for Strong in a victory.
Afterwards, Cole got a standing ovation.
During the Briscoes/Jigsaw and Hallowicked match, the Chikara locker room emptied out to rally around their compadres who up to that point were getting their asses kicked.
The Briscoes went for Hallowicked's mask, which led to near-chaos. In the din, Jigsaw got the rollup for a surprise victory.
Jigsaw and Hallowicked's ROH Tag Team Championship match will take place in Chicago on April 28th in Chicago Ridge.
Davey Richards and Jay Lethal pretty much split the crowd all night long, with Richards retaining his Championship with a bunch of kicks to the face.
Lethal and Richards will have a rematch at the Batlimore TV tapings.

Observations:

I actually passed Papa Briscoe and his caravan on the way to the arena.
The Pennsylvania Guard Armory is actually a nice arena. It felt good to wait in line without being ankle deep in trash.
A "fuck the doctor!" chant broke out when Eddie Edwards announced he had to miss the event.
Charlie Haas totally floored me with how well he played to the crowd tonight. He was a total dick (in a good way), and it really got the fans going. It set the tone for the entire night.
Kyle O'Reilly has turned into a little bump machine. He went hard into the turnbuckles twice and really flopped around. That was the most impressive part of the match for me.
In terms of overpushed low-card heels, Tomasso Ciampa looks like he belongs in a pro wrestling ring, while Mike Bennett looks like he belongs on King of Queens reruns. It was all in the clotheslines. Ciampa's lariat looked pretty good. Bennett's was probably the worst I've ever seen.
Watching RD Evans ham it up on the outside of the ring made me sad that he was there and not wrestling.
Speaking of that Embassy entourage, Mia Yim and Prince Nana spent maybe 30 seconds out of the whole match not standing arm-in-arm. Now THAT'S dedication to the gimmick.
It was apron-mania tonight, and Ciampa got the party started with a pretty sick Air Raid Crash from the floor to said apron on Redwood.
Kevin Steen has been better at being the CM Punk pipe bomb character for longer than they even thought of giving it to Punk. That's saying something.
Steen was another guy who just interacted with the crowd all night, although it was more in a positive manner, as he was pretty popular.
Example: "Steen, were you on Tough Enough? "No, I'm a fat little prick!"
King just keeps getting better and better at melding his natural athleticism into the art of actually making a wrestling match seem more like a fight. Some of the stuff he did tonight was jaw-dropping.
When did they ban the Package Piledriver? Was it Final Battle?
Hero was definitely showing off during the first portion of his match with Elgin. It was actually pretty amusing how well Elgin acted the part of the frustrated, disrespected underdog while looking like he could've snapped and feasted on Hero's innards at any time.
Hero for his part really sold Elgin wearing him down and out well during the match. He does woozy very well.
The time limit tease was a nice touch. For about a minute there, I totally thought they'd go draw, which if Hero is on his way out, would've been the best way to go without having him eat a pinfall.
People really didn't like Roderick Strong tonight.
That being said, this was the best Strong's looked in ROH since Daniel Bryan was Bryan Danielson, but for totally different reasons. He's also added crowd interaction into his repertoire, and it's made him a far more complete performer. Where he really shone though was in his viciousness. Guy can brawl, who knew.
Adam Cole has a pretty slick shining wizard.
Funny spot, Strong set up chairs to be lodged between turnbuckles in each corner, but it was Cole who got to ram Roddy's head into them. The last corner, the chair fell out of position, and Strong actually put the chair back in place while he was selling. IT was pretty absurd.
Funny to see Edwards being set up as Cole's mentor. Even if people haven't heard the spoilers concerning Future Shock, it sets up an interesting dynamic going forward among both that team and the American Wolves.
I'm also pretty sure that Cole was made tonight, and he'll be good with the ROH Philly crowd from here on out. Gutty, star-making performance.
The Briscoes got chants all night long. They could've gone up against Roy Halladay and Cliff Lee tonight and still had gotten near unanimous crowd support.
Until about 3/4 of the way through the match, I was literally the only one in the arena cheering for Hallowicked and Jigsaw. Of course Papa Briscoe was right behind me, so that was pretty fun.
No, seriously, Papa Briscoe cheering for his kids was awesome, no sarcasm. He just got so into the match, it was great.
Speaking of guys who bumped their asses off tonight, how about Jigsaw, everyone? Dude took a beating from the Briscoes something fierce. This is why he's one of the best in America. AT one point, he went so hard into the turnbuckle selling a Mark front dropkick that I thought he moved the ring.
The Briscoes were the perfect team to use as a backdrop for this Chikara partnership. The absolute perfect team.
By the way, yes, it was Bryce Remsburg who reffed the Chikara/Briscoes match. To his credit, he called it right down the middle, because he's Bryce Freakin' Remsburg, the best referee in wrestling history.
The main event was the ONLY match for which the Code of Honor was followed.
Richards and Lethal, for all their pomp as indie standouts, wrestled very much a match that could have fit as a main event for a WWE PPV. This is not a bad thing, by the way.
Davey Richards sold. Short-term, long-term. He acted woozy. He acted like he was hurt. In this match, I saw why people consider him a great wrestler.
Strong interfered in the match at one point, and it actually fit.

Match of the Night: This one's kinda hard for me to decide, and yet it's not hard at all. Steen/King, Strong/Cole and yes, Richards/Lethal all were outstanding matches, but the one that maybe predictably took the cake for me was Mark and Jay Briscoe against Jigsaw and Hallowicked in a Proving Ground match. Maybe I'm biased, maybe I'm not, but holy crap, what a fun match. It started out with Mark getting double-teamed by Jig and 'Wicked, getting isolated in the corner with quick tags, arm wringers and flying strikes from the top. It was all basic tag stuff unless a basic knowledge of Chikara was had by the observer. If that were the case, one might know that Jig and Wicked are the most tecnico of all the tecnicos and to see them work rudo in a match was just a spectacle to behold.

This didn't last long, as the match moved on into almost uncomfortable squash-match levels of dominance by the Briscoes. The thing though was that even though I'm almost programmed to hate on uncompetitive high up on the card, I couldn't totally not be impressed here. The Briscoes just work as such a well-oiled machine. Obviously, being brothers and tagging together for the better part of a decade will do that for a team, but there's just a certain beauty in the carnage doled out by #DemBoys. It helped that both opponents, Jigsaw especially, bumped their asses off in an effort to make them look like world-beaters. The count out spot where Jig made it back in on 19, leading to the Chikara masks all pouring out, was the exclamation point on that second act.

The third act was something special though. I loved how the mere presence of Quack and his students was enough to uplift the challengers to a point where they were now matching the Briscoes blow for blow. There was an energy, one that would be explained after the match by UltraMantis Black as family. The ring surrounded by masks clearly rattled the Briscoes, and it was perfect storytelling for two rednecks from Slower Lower to be spooked by a colorful masquerade of wrestling's motley crew of bandits. Obviously, in order to make this story last past Philly, there had to be some shenanigans, and they were played off so well, starting with Jay acting on his almost xenophobic reaction to the flood around the ring by decking Dasher Hatfield with a clothesline. One thing led to another, and before anyone knew it, Bryce had to turn away from a Hallowicked whose mask was still mangled from Mark clawing and grabbing at it to count a 1-2-3 by Jigsaw to secure the victory. It was a spectacle. It was a hard-hitting match. It was a show, and when wrestling is at its best, it's going to be a show.

Overall Thoughts: All the things that had been missing from ROH, or at the very least had not been showing through on television, returned tonight with a wondrous fury that gave the first Philadelphia house show crowd in over two years for the company a memorable show, top to bottom. All seven matches delivered in their own way, both with the actual moves and the mechanics in the ring, but also with the story. Nearly everyone interacted with the crowd in some way, and to its credit, the crowd was pretty rocking, a stark difference from the absolutely dead TV taping crowds that they used to draw to the ECW Arena for HDNet. Guys wrestled with emotion. It wasn't just finisher-kick out-even more absurd finisher-kick out-death blow strike-pin. Guys were trading funky submissions, using the apron as a weapon, embracing the fact that just because ROH espouses pure wrestling doesn't mean it has to play out like a sterile contest.

The arena had something to do with it, but I really think it was the fact that they drew a good crowd, a crowd that missed them. Fuck, I missed them, I missed this kind of show, the kind I saw when I went to those first tapings I went to. Yes, gone were Danielson and McGuinness and Castagnoli, but finally, guys like Strong and Haas and Richards stepped up and provided some color that I didn't think they had. It was amazing. This was certainly as strong a show as anyone could open the year with. Bravo.

Full Results

The World's Greatest Tag Team defeated Future Shock via pinfall by Charlie Haas on Kyle O'Reilly.
Tomasso Ciampa pinned Grizzly Redwood in a four-way match that also included Mike Bennett and Andy Ridge.
Kevin Steen pinned Kenny King.
Michael Elgin pinned Chris Hero.
Roderick Strong pinned Adam Cole in a No Holds Barred match.
Jigsaw and Hallowicked defeated the Briscoe Brothers in a non-title Proving Ground match when Jigsaw pinned Jay Briscoe. Jig and 'Wicked have earned a ROH Tag Team Championship opportunity at 4/28 in Chicago Ridge.
Davey Richards retained the ROH World Heavyweight Championship via pinfall over Jay Lethal.

Friday Five: Ring of Honor

2012-01-20T08:25:00.000-05:00

To celebrate their return to Philly tonight.

1. What is your overall opinion of the new ROH TV show if you've seen it, and how does it compare to HDNet?

2. Buy or sell: ROH's first show, featuring Danielson/Daniels/Ki and Guerrero/Super Crazy, is the most important post-ECW indie wrestling event ever.

3. Samoa Joe, Nick Dinsmore, KENTA. Pick one to come into ROH for an extended main event run and why you chose him.

4. Do you want to see an extended partnership with Chikara past tonight's Briscoes proving ground match?

5. It's January 20, 2013. Who will be the ROH World Champion and who SHOULD be the ROH World Champion?

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 37: Alyssa Kay

2012-01-19T22:00:00.001-05:00

Episode 37: Yoshi Tatsu Battles the Pink Robots

This episode features an in-depth look at AIW's Girls Night Out 5. The guest is Alyssa Kay who is in a competition to become an intern for the Cleveland independent wrestling outfit. We run down all the matches, including the main event of Mickie Knuckles against Sara del Rey. We also talk about Mia Yim being forced to motorboat Greg Excellent, the transformation of Roxie Cotton into the dastardly Gabby Gilbert, comparing Angel Dust to Wes Welker and how Veda Scott rocks the houndstooth with style. Check it and Girls' Night Out 5 if you're in the Cleveland area January 29th.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure.

Future Endeavors 1/19 Power Poll: Dead Legs and All Heart

2012-01-19T21:40:00.000-05:00

Two for flinching!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging Bro-e Kardashian PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Chris Jericho (Last week: 1)
2. Daniel Bryan (3)
3. CM Punk (4)
4. Brodus Clay (2)
5. Epico & Primo (Not rated)
6. Jack Swagger (NR)
7. Kane (5)
8. John Cena (NR)
9. R-Truth (7)
10. Sheamus (NR)

And now, my ballot:

1. Johnny Gargano - It's no longer Chuck Norris Facts, it's Johnny Gargano Facts. Fact, Johnny Gargano can cut titanium with his urine.

2. CM Punk
3. Johnny Ace - Package deal here, because that segment at the end doesn't work without either one of them. I don't even want to call them this century's Austin and McMahon, because right now, they feel way more codependent. This is national Memphis, and Punk and Ace are Lawler and Dundee.

4. Chris Jericho - Best. Hot tag. Ever.

5. Daniel Bryan - Bryan is so awesome that he went back in time and gave George Lucas some script writing hints for Empire Strikes Back.

6. Ronin (Chuck Taylor and Rich Swann) - ChuckTaylorisinwaybettershapethaneveryoneelsebelowhimonmyballotyeah!

7. Epico and Primo - If a match happens at a house show, does it really happen? Yes, yes it does.

8. Brodus Clay - If Brodus could debut a new dance move and only place 8th, what does that say for the caliber of competition this week, huh? HUH?

9. Sami Callihan - He took a tack hammer to the back of the ECW shit show at the end of EVOLVE 10. Thank Christ.

10. AJ - She made Big Show sad. Luckily for her, making Big Show sad is a major positive.

Andre the Giant, Master Angler

2012-01-19T14:45:00.000-05:00

This footage is one-hundred percent real, by the way. I SWEAR TO GOD IT IS.

I know, I know, I've been heavy on the videos today, but what can I say? They're all good videos so far, dammit!

h/t Hugging Harold Reynolds' Tumblr

From the Archives: Tournament for Tomorrow Semifinal - Aaron Epic vs. Johnny Mangue

2012-01-19T13:15:00.000-05:00

We're into the semifinals of Beyond Wrestling's Tournament for Tomorrow, and this one features Johnny Mangue, who defeated Sugar Dunkerton, taking on Aaron Epic, who bested Drew Gulak. In Epic's first-round match, Gulak worked over his knee pretty well, and that long-term selling was at least teased in the pre-match intros (although it didn't really come into play during the match, sadly). Mangue advanced arguably with help from the Pit Boss, and hey, he made an appearance, although it would be after the match before he would come out. This one is the shortest match of the tournament so far, but it's a fun little jaunt. Enjoy.

TWIOT: The Closest We'll Ever Get to New Harry Potter on Film

2012-01-19T10:05:00.000-05:00

I got nothin' this morning. So, when that fails, videos! This one was from Saturday Night Live from this past week, hosted by Daniel Radcliffe. Here he reprises his role as Harry Potter in what was probably the favorite sketch I saw from the show. Sure makes up for the shitstorm that was Lana del Rey.

Shaq All But Booked for WM, and I'm Wistful for Mike Tyson

2012-01-18T21:30:00.000-05:00

Ah, what could've been
Photo Credit: Sports Encounter

Via Cageside Seats

The rumored Shaq/Big Show match for WrestleMania seems like it's going to happen (Big Show back injury suffered at Smackdown tapings notwithstanding). I'm a huge proponent of this, given how natural a fit Shaq felt back when he was hosting RAW and a match was first teased. Unlike some folks, I don't mind if celebs come in for extended stints, especially if they respect the business. If Shaq decided he wanted to go on one long run in WWE after enough training, I wouldn't mind it at all.

That got me thinking about the one celebrity that I thought was a great fit for the then-WWF when he had his cup of coffee there. Mike Tyson was in between stints as a boxer after ripping Evander Holyfield's ear clean off his skull via his teeth. I was always a bit biased, because Tyson, along with Mike Schmidt, was the first guy who was my favorite athlete. Still, there was always an unnatural charisma with the Baddest Man on the Planet. He always straddled the line between edgy and crazy, but he did so with a childlike innocence that made him more unique than most any wrestling character out there. The best analogue might have been Mankind, but at the same time, Foley's execution of his gimmick was more deranged, while Tyson's was more skittish.

After prison, it was clear Tyson had lost a step in the boxing ring. He never realized that for himself, so after his dalliance with the WWF, he tried pursuing his boxing career. That was his passion, but in terms of being a success, would he have been better off training for a year and going into pro wrestling full time? Most of wrestling is having a character, and Tyson spent years in the public eye being himself, and luckily for him, "himself" was a perfect pro wrestling character. Imagine him coming back around 1999, with the arrivals of guys like Chris Jericho, Eddie Guerrero, Kurt Angle and He Who Shall Not Be Named in addition to guys like The Rock, Austin, Triple H and Big Show all in their primes. Things might've been different, but they also might have been more interesting to say the least. Personally, Rocky/Tyson sounds like it would've been one of the most memorable programs of that era.

Ah, what could've been though. I'm not sure how feasible it could have been anyway, given that Tyson might have been more expensive than what the WWF would have wanted to spend at the time. It might not have been probable, but hey, it's fun to think in what-ifs. There's no doubt that Mike Tyson might have been a fun full-time employee for WWF, just like I feel like however unlikely Shaq could be a great full-timer for WWE today. Then again, one match is better than nothing, and if it makes me a bad person to be looking forward to Show/Shaq at WrestleMania? Then write me a ticket to hell, because I'm jazzed to see this.

"Philly Shits on Everything"

2012-01-18T12:45:00.000-05:00

Yes, Lenny, it was Philly's fault EVOLVE 10
got mixed reviews

As I noted in the links dump this week, I got into a bit of a tussle with DGUSA ring announcer/play by play commentator Lenny Leonard on Twitter over the reaction to EVOLVE 10. Full disclosure, I think Leonard is a good announcer who brings a lot to the table. That being said, it doesn't mean he always says the right things. In this Twitter conversation I had with him, he went on to blame indie wrestling fans for not monetarily supporting EVOLVE in the past and the Philly crowd for "shitting" on everything. Okay Hulkster. Anyway, I gave him a lot of replies on Twitter, but I felt like the 140 character format held back what I really wanted to express and could express in one cogent blog posting. Yes, I am FJMing Twitter replies. If that makes me a loser, so be it, but I'm a loser with something to say, dammit!

-- @BookItGabe [note: Gabe Sapolsky] I think you should have closed out the ECW Arena in Pine Bluff Arkansas if you wanted to be true to the comnpany legacy

The tweet that started it all. I grant you it was tongue-in-cheek, and I did take it as red meat looking for an argument, but at the same time, I was pretty incensed at what I had witnessed Saturday night. The problem here is the mindset that the legacy being celebrated here was solely that of ECW's. It wasn't. The Arena, though still bearing the colloquial name of ECW, had stopped being proprietary emotional equity of that promotion when it had closed down. As much as some of the more thick-headed ECW fanboys and national fans who don't "get" the indie scene want to believe otherwise, the building had become property of the pastiche of independent promotions that included the main company that both Leonard and Sapolsky are a part of, Dragon Gate USA.

-- Agreed.. then wouldnt that fact make what @bookitgabe ran on Saturday actually fitting?? Dont understand the uproar honestly

-- i dont see how 1 20 minute segment dominated by a young star to close a show featuring nothing but young stars is an ecw rehash

In light of the building becoming more of a roost for ROH, Chikara etc., what makes Sabu vs. Justin Credible and then Sami Callihan being used as a pawn in yet ANOTHER young guns vs. ECW originals feud fitting to close the building? It's not even like this is new ground. WWE and TNA, the two biggest companies in America, have traveled down this road before. Aren't the indies supposed to be innovative? Isn't EVOLVE supposed to be innovative? Then why is retreading something that this company professes to be an alternative to mainstream wrestling fitting?

-- perhaps those people would have seen something they liked that clicked with them the way ecw did and became fans of the product?

A noble idea, admittedly, but it's increasingly a fool's gambit. Marketing something to older fans as "An ECW Reunion! Last show ever!" is red meat for fans who left when ECW died and only came back for the One Night Stand-style shows. The writing was on the wall that the kind of wrestling purveyed by EVOLVE in its first nine shows was on its way to prominence back in 2000, when the Internet made trading puroresu tapes that much easier. Some fans stayed aboard, and they became the basis of what now constitutes DGUSA/EVOLVE's main fanbase. Others outgrew wrestling because they weren't into that style. What would make anyone think that the slow creep of time would make anyone's mind change? It's possible, but especially with wrestling fans, it's not probable. If anything, that kind of promotion sets up a legion of one-time buyers who will disperse after it's abundantly clear that there was a reason why Sabu and New Jack don't kill each other with weapons every night anymore.

-- the other 9 shows that Evolve has run were marketed to fans like you, and honestly. not financially successful for the most part

One of those shows wasn't financially successful because of a driving rainstorm that kept fans away. That was a fluke. The main reason why EVOLVE wasn't "financially successful" is that rarely any independent wrestling promotion or even business altogether is super profitable from jump. DGUSA is an aberration because it already came with an established brand name associated with it. EVOLVE though? Yeah, that was going to take time to develop. Two years is not unheard of for a company to have sluggish returns. Companies like Chikara, PWG, JAPW and probably even ROH probably didn't post successes right away, but they grew over time into something that was great. They did so by finding an identity and using it to collect fans.

Another problem EVOLVE has is that its identity might not be as clear cut as their mission statement might be. The emphasis on wins and losses is nebulous, and without that clear narrative pushing things forward, what does it have over ROH other than the fact that it's not ROH? For as much flak as ROH is taking critically, they're still recognized as the market leader in independent wrestling. One doesn't overtake the market leader by offering an exceedingly similar product to it, or worse, by muddling their identity so that it's too vague.

-- titles were defended in middle of the show for YEARS in wrestling.. did it mean Hogan wasn't the focal point of the show?

That clearly wasn't my problem with the marketing of Gargano/Ricochet. It might sound redundant, but the reason why I thought that match didn't have the proper focus on it was because it was marketed to people who were predisposed to crap on it. One of my favorite matches of 2011 was a WWE Championship match that jerked the curtain on RAW.

Me: -- In the interim, the top title and two awesome young guys were put down at the expense of nostalgia...

-- how were they put down? They were given the main event spot and 10 minutes more than the next longest match on the show.

Again, "...the reason why I thought that match didn't have the proper focus on it was because it was marketed to people who were predisposed to crap on it." It felt like he was poised to ignore that point through the entire exchange, but then...

-- we could have held that show in any building in Philly and the same reaction would occur.. Philly crowds shit on everything

And there we have it, the piece de resistance. The fans didn't like something, so it's obviously the fan's fault they didn't see the vision! More specifically, he plays into the utterly useless trope that Philly fans somehow are more mutant than other fans around the country. Let's patently ignore the fact that some of the best crowds for DGUSA shows have come in Philly. Let's forget the adulation that DGUSA fans in Philly poured on the company's first ever show, especially that match between the Young Bucks and CIMA/Susumu Yokosuka. Let's patently ignore that EVOLVE ran a bus trip bringing in SEVERAL fans from New York City for this show. Let's forget the fact that Leonard fully admits that other EVOLVE shows marketed to fans like me, fans who have cheered for matches such as Gargano/Ricochet in the past, have been financial misses for them, and this show had a great box office thanks to fans who by and large left their wrestling fandom behind BECAUSE of matches like Gargano/Ricochet. Nope, it's our fault that we shit on everything. Philly is the worst town ever, amirite guise? GUISE?

If that's the case, then why run a fucking show here? Why not let CZW close the building down? OR better yet, why not offer the spot to a company like Chikara who seemingly has no problem running their biggest shows (King of Trios, Chikarasaurus Rex, High Noon) in front of those awful, terrible, difficult to please Philly fans?

Honestly, the fallout to this event only proves that a "different" wrestling booker is so hard to find anymore. As much as people subscribe NOT to be like Eric Bischoff, the constant retweeting of differing extreme reactions by Sapolsky only reinforces the half-true mantra that the former WCW and current TNA producer titled his book, Controversy Creates Cash. Then, there's Leonard, who reflexively defends the decisions to the point of blaming the consumers for not "getting it", only reinforcing the idea that wrestling promoters, like Bischoff or Vince McMahon, feel like their fans are idiots who either should like the pap they get or are just serial complainers if they don't.

I may have fed the trolls here, or more accurately, I fully admit that I started things off as a troll, but at the same time, I expect this kind of bullshit from TNA or WWE officials. Okay, maybe not WWE officials, because they don't take to Twitter to engage angry fans. That being said, I thought indie companies were better than this. I guess I shouldn't be surprised that I was wrong about it.

The funniest thing about all this? I wrote a blog praising Gabe a couple of months back about fan interaction. Man, don't I fucking feel stupid now.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Your Midweek Links: Stop SOPA

2012-01-18T10:30:00.000-05:00

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the week.

SOPA:

More important than shilling my own work this week is making your voice heard against SOPA, which is a bill that would introduce governmental censorship to the Internet. It is a direct violation of the First Amendment of the Bill of Rights, because you know, Congress thinks it's so above the law it's not even funny. Do your part.

- Google has a petition you can sign electronically.

- Wikipedia has gone dark today, but they're providing contact information for all your local Congressmen so you can voice your displeasure.

Self-Shilling:

- Burnsy was on the latest edition of The Wrestling Podcast. We talk about wrestling nostalgia, what has made him come back and leave wrestling over the years, his story about writing ideas into WCW, Albert Pujols, terrible movies and bonding over Coming to America [Episode 36: A Crow Sting Left of the Murder]

- I went to the final ECW Arena wrestling show ever, and thought it was good until the mutants took over and started crapping all over Johnny Gargano and Ricochet [Can We Pretend the Last 30 Minutes Didn't Happen?: EVOLVE 10 Review] BONUS: Apparently, one Lenny Leonard didn't appreciate my criticism and blamed everything on the Philly crowd shitting on everything. I don't stand for it when Eric Bischoff or Hulk Hogan blame their shitty product on the fans not liking it, so I'm damn sure not going to take it from someone in the indies taking that terrible attitude. Tweet him and let him know that maybe poor reactions should be blamed on the people in charge, not on critics. [@DragonGateLenny]

- My Fair to Flair piece for this week, on why wrestlers need to show a little ass every once in awhile, including Zack Ryder on RAW this past week. [Weakness and Necessity]

- My latest for Cageside Seats, which is now hilarious in the face of how EVOLVE 10 actually turned out [The Indie Corner: EVOLVing to an End]

- My latest for the food blog, all about fresh fruit [Fresh Fruit]

Wrestling Links:

- A look at Resistance Pro Wrestling [The Classical]

- Speaking of Resistance Pro, Greg Davis took some pictures from their first show on Black Friday [Dirty Dirty Sheets]

- A paean to one Brodus Clay [Penguin Orchestra]

- John Cena Reilly [Hitting the Mark]

- The Best PPV Matches of 2011 DVD Review [Camel Clutch Blog]

- ECW needs to be able to die [Kick Out at 2!]

- Daniel Bryan vector art! [International Object]

- Jason Mann and KSP talk about Starrcade '97, one of the best built and most disappointing wrestling main events ever [Wrestlespective Radio]

- My blogging Abrobro PizzaBodySlam makes his triumphant return with his new feature, Thursday RAW Thursday [Fair to Flair]

- The Best and Worst of RAW [With Leather]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- Worst. Tattoo. Artist. EVER. [Buzz Feed]

- Modern classics getting a vintage poster/cast makeover [UPROXX]

- Things that food commercials would have you believe are true that totally aren't. Spot fucking on on the Miller Lite ad BS [Cracked]

- The dirty D words, and I'm not talking about dick, dildo or dingleberry either. [Cogyddes]

- Want to end the foolishness surrounding Baseball Hall of Fame balloting? End secret ballots. [Baseball Nation]

- Jonah Keri breaks down why the Cincinnati Reds may be the favorites to win their second National League Central Division crown in the last three years [Grantland]

- Video games that spawned ultra-unhealthy food. [Topless Robot]

- More from TR, it's the Super Mario Bros. Crossover 2 trailer! [Topless Robot]

- Josh Zerkle makes some pretty salient points about the way fandom dominates every day life. [The Go Route]

- Most people think Juan Castillo should be a scapegoat for the Eagles season. Kulp thinks he might have been the best coach on the staff. [The 700 Level]

- It's a Tebowing pretzel! [Off the Bench]

- What if the USFL had never folded? [NFL.com]

- Does normal really even exist? [Imgur Gallery]

- 8 locations where you can have a quickie, including one immortalized in song [Ask Men]

The Best Moves Ever: Stone Cold Stunner

2012-01-18T08:20:00.000-05:00

If there's any wrestling fan out there who doesn't know what a Stone Cold Stunner is and is reading this blog, I might suggest they ask their parents for a history lesson on one of the best wrestlers ever. For everyone else, BAH GAWD BAH GAWD BAH GAWD, here's Steve Austin doling out Stunners to the ENTIRE McMahon family, including a perfect example on how not to take one from Linda. Enjoy!

Zack Ryder's Gonna Be Just Fine, Folks

2012-01-17T20:15:00.000-05:00

They cared enough to tape his ribs, that counts for more than losing.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The reaction on Twitter to Zack Ryder losing the United States Championship last night would have made it sound like the guy was given the Shelton-Benjamin-as-Yoshi-Tatsu's-first-opponent treatment and then given no attention before or after the decision. (Aside, remember when Yoshi Tatsu was a thing instead of just some dude with awesome face paint wasted on dark matches? I miss those days.) Let's forget the fact that he got a chance to cut a valiant babyface promo beforehand, had a built-in excuse as to why he lost, fought tooth and nail despite his obvious injury, was the victim of his boss withholding information AND had one of the three biggest stars in the company go to bat for him afterwards. Nope, he was buried. BURIED I SAY.

Many fans on the Internet have this tendency to overreact to things that happen even if there's evidence that WWE has faith in a guy. While that faith is bungled or acted upon at a glacial pace most of the time (if not all the time, I'm not a WWE apologist and as I've noted before, their booking can suuuuuuck), they do move on guys. Look at Daniel Bryan or even Miz. They suffered hard times, and now they're in WWE's long term plans, or at least they seem like it.

The truth is, Ryder got attention last night. Was it all positive? No, Ryder went through hardships, but if no one went through hardships, then would the stories be worth telling? I covered this on Fair to Flair today, but it's worth reiterating. To experience daylight, guys have to go through darkness. For how "buried" he was, he sure seemed like a vital cog in one of the top two stories on RAW. While the United States Championship probably shouldn't have been a prop in the whole ordeal (and that's a separate issue altogether), there's no question that Ryder, the character, is important here.

So again, I call for a moratorium on using the word buried to use when talking about every day speed bumps. The follow-up is going to be important here, but I feel like Ryder is going to be fine.

Why Yes That Was Mr. Belding at RAW Last Night

2012-01-17T11:25:00.000-05:00

Screen Grab Credit: Whitney Jefferson/Buzz Feed

Dennis Haskins, aka Mr. Belding from Saved by the Bell was at RAW last night, sitting behind Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler. He was visible on every cutaway to the broadcast desk, and in his best appearance? Yeah, he totally got dissed by Chris Jericho as he reached for a hand slap. Awesome.

Haskins has made no secret that he wants to be the next RAW general manager. While the idea it kitschy enough to be cool for a hot second, it feels like something that might get old quick. That being said, hey, it's still hilarious that Mr. Freaking Belding video-bombed the shit out of the RAW telecast last night. I'm also absolutely shocked that there was no mention of him whatsoever. WWE will bring on a polarizing celebrity trash blogger to guest on the show, but they won't recognize Mr. Belding? Baffling.

Evan Bourne Gets Popped for Wellness for Second Time in Three Months

2012-01-17T10:45:00.000-05:00

What a maroon
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Via WWE Corporate

Evan Bourne has been suspended for 60 days due to his second violation of WWE's Wellness Policy. That would explain him and Kofi Kingston losing the Tag Titles over the weekend as well as their rematch loss last night. Bourne's suspension proves either that the synthetic marijuana known as Spice (which is way, way, WAY worse than the real thing) takes a lot longer to leave the system than other drugs or he's really, really, really fucking stupid.

Either way, it sucks that I can't see one of my favorite wrestlers on TV, but it sucks even more that he'd rather do drugs than be a wrestler. I expect that out of one of the miscreants from North Carolina, but Bourne? Seriously. Brandon Stroud has a good idea in maybe WWE replacing him with guys who won't do drugs, like, I dunno, ACH? Novel concept.

Johnny Gargano Wrestled on Dead Legs Saturday

2012-01-17T08:25:00.000-05:00

Pictured: A man whose giant balls make every pair of pants he wears tight as shit

The big question after EVOLVE 10's nominal main event was whether Johnny Gargano had suffered a legitimate injury. At first, I thought he was just selling, but some people suspected he might have been hurt. After the event, Gabe Sapolsky confirmed via Twitter that Gargano had gone to the hospital, and other people had started hearing rumblings that the Whole Shebang had suffered a major injury. Rather than letting the rumors fester, Gargano came out and addressed them head on his Facebook page, clipped for her pleasure:

On January 1st I wrestled a show in WV.. I sorta tweaked my back/pelvis in that match.. It hurt.. but I figured it'd be alright. It nagged at me for a bit, but I figured it was something I could work through. No big deal.
On Saturday.. I don't know.. something just felt weird. My whole body was cramping up. I drank a ton of water, and thought I was just dehydrated. My lower back/abdomen started to swell. Every time I'd stretch or bend forward, a sharp twinge would go down both my legs...

...I don't remember much of the match, honestly. I remember that within the first 2 minutes, my legs stopped working. I couldn't feel them. Just walking became a chore. I couldn't raise my legs, or even bend down. The pain was indescribable.. but I knew I couldn't stop. We went 25 more minutes.. and I took A LOT of stupid bumps. Was that a dumb decision? Maybe.. but it's not in my DNA to just give up. The match had a lot of hype, and being put in that spot meant the world to me. My mind was willing, but my body just wasn't capable, sadly.

As soon as the match ended, and the bit of adrenaline I had wore off.. All of my strength was gone. No more walking, no more moving.. just pain. They told me to stay in the ring and wait for medical attention and I remember saying "No! Get me out, there's one more segment. The shows not over, get me out so they can do it". They carried me to the back, and as soon as I went through the curtain, I collapsed...

...The ambulance came and took me to the hospital (first time I'd ever been in an ambulance, by the way). They put an IV in me (another first).. and filled me up with pain meds, etc. This is where I start to get groggy. Gabe stopped by, but I was already unconscious. They gave me a CAT scan which turned out okay. I randomly started throwing up...

... I can't tell you how much pain I was actually in during that flight. They then met me with another wheelchair, and wheeled me out front where my Dad picked me up and took me home. Where I've been in my bed for 2 days.. and looks to be the case for a while longer. I'm going to make an appointment with a specialist to try to get this sorted out, and see what it is. I'm still in a ton of pain, and walking is still very difficult.

Again, that's just a clipped version of the message. Click the link to read the whole thing, which includes some thank yous to fans for sending him warm wishes and get well vibes. He also apologizes for his performance, but really what the shit does he have to apologize to us for? He went out and performed despite having two dead legs.

If anything, he should have invited all the mutants who were booing EVERYTHING he and Ricochet were doing to suck his balls. The whole trope of being tough and being a warrior might be a bit overstated, and as a human being, I might have been happier had Gargano not gutted it out and thought about his own health. That being said, he went out there to give the people their money's worth despite his own personal setbacks. Isn't that what these fucking mutants cheered the ECW guys for pretending to do? Seriously, what Gargano did Saturday was way more extreme than one old man jabbing a screwdriver into the head of another old man. Seriously, the more I read about what EVOLVE 10 and the fallout, the more I get pissed, whether it's Gabe retweeting every mixed reaction to prove a point he stole from Eric Bischoff or whether it's more people reacting to the mutants shitting on everything. Seriously, and I blame myself on this too, where were we on Saturday? Why didn't we rise up and overtake these motherfuckers who made it their lot that evening to confirm that they didn't care about wrestling, but only cared about nostalgia? Ugh.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Instant Feedback: Pipe Bomb 2K12 and the Return Volley

2012-01-16T23:45:00.000-05:00

Wow, what a RAW tonight. They really hit everything out of the park. Everything, save the Divas match with Perez Hilton (ugh), had a point. Everyone, including Eve Torres, played their roles well. There were great stories advanced, spotlight individual performances, on-point wrestling, EPIC trolling... and it was bookended by two strong segments anchored by, who else, Mick Foley. Mick Foley, in 2012? Yeah, Mick Foley. But he wasn't the biggest star of the night by far, just an anchor to tie everything to, to make it work. Then again, that's always been Foley's lot in life, and that's why I feel like he's one of the most underrated guys ever. Glad to see the Micker tonight.

The real stars of the show, above everyone else, as always were CM Punk and Johnny Ace. That segment to close the show was AMAZING. Punk brought the pipe bomb for the first time in a long time, and he had the crowd eating out of the palm of his hand. For once, the beratement felt deserved, mainly because Laurinaitis did something to deserve it earlier in the night in screwing Zack Ryder out of his United States Championship. Then, in typical middle management style, Mr. Excitement lashed out with an epic, emotional, almost heartfelt promo of his own AFTER Punk had left the ring and took out his aggression on a proxy in Foley. It was perfect, just absolutely perfect.

And the rest of the players? It was a fucking ensemble performance tonight. Ziggler started the show with a classic villain promo. He was truthful, yet came across in a way that made him seem entitled and sniveling. I haven't seen any of Curt Hennig in AWA, but if we're judging solely on WWF/E runs, then Ziggler is surpassing him. Just amazing stuff. Vickie's cackle at Foley after Laurinaitis told him he couldn't be in the Rumble was awesome. It's great to give us a reason to hate her other than her nonexistent "fat" (by the way, between Vickie and Rosa Mendes, holy shit, yes yes yes it was great to be a heterosexual male or homosexual female or just someone who appreciates a fine bosom tonight).

Zack Ryder came out with his breakthrough performance as someone to take seriously. He stumbled a bit with his promo, but it's the first time he's been called upon to show gravitas, and I think he did a good job. He did a better job in his match with Jack Swagger, and the whole story was just well-told, especially leading into John Cena flipping the fuck out over Ryder getting screwed out of his title. Some think the beatdown of Swagger "buried" him. I think it was a great vessel for storytelling, as long as Swagger gets to bounce back next week (he has to, I'm just tired of seeing the belts look like props, even if I keep saying it over and over and over and over and over). They seem to have fallen ass-backwards into a good story. The first act of this Kane/Cena feud has sucked, but everything after, yes, even the horror movie stuff last week, has been really well-done. They did more to establish the fact that Kane is fucking with Cena's head with that beatdown than any ham-fisted speech from Cena ever could. Michael Cole for once got the story over instead of NEERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDing it all up with his shitty partisan antics. Seriously, bravo, even if it's been a complete accident.

All the other stuff just clicked too. Wade Barrett and R-Truth had a really fun back and forth before they got entangled in a cool little mini battle royale. Brodus Clay kept looking like he was having fun. Jericho standing in Laurinaitis' office in the dark with his jacket was amusing, but his out and out trolling during the six-man tag (which was a fucking incredible match, even with all the circumstances going on) was the biggest stroke of genius so far since his return. Before the match, Daniel Bryan kept showing his insincere genius by giving the most ironically unearnest explanation of what happened on Friday ever. The cherry on top was him explaining how he appreciated that AJ loved him. Holy shit, between him and Jericho, the troll quotient in WWE right now is at an all-time high, and I fucking love it.

Seriously, wow. I know they can't all be like this, but hey, when RAW is focused on driving home the stories, it's a spectacle to behold. I think we're officially in WrestleMania season, and tonight is one of those episodes that is going to make the ride to Sun Life Stadium that much funner.

An Inappropriate Finale: Or, Why the ECW Arena Didn't Belong to ECW Anymore

2012-01-16T13:30:00.000-05:00

Who should've closed The Arena? NOT THIS GUY.

After the main EVOLVE card was over Saturday night, when Joey Styles, Bob Artiste, JT Smith and Gary Wolfe all congregated in the ring, sharing memories and thanking the crowd, DJ Hyde came out with a contingent of his Combat Zone Wrestling employees and claimed that The Arena didn't belong to those ECW holdovers anymore, that it had belonged to his group and his promotion, because he had run for a longer time and had more shows there than ECW did. While that's nominally true, it's a bit wrongheaded. CZW hadn't claimed the building because it ran more shows. It didn't solely belong to CZW either, although the ultraviolent promotion does have a strong tie to the famed arena. The thing is, the building didn't belong to ECW anymore either. Over the last ten-plus years, a tapestry of independent promotions, including but not necessarily limited to Ring of Honor, Chikara, CZW, Dragon Gate USA and Jersey All-Pro Wrestling, have claimed the building and molded it into a home for independent wrestling not only in the important city of Philadelphia but arguably on the East Coast (and if it's not the sole building for wrestling here, it at the very least shares that title with the Hammerstein Ballroom in New York).

That's why it was so disappointing that Gabe Sapolsky chose to market the event more to the old "mutants" of the ECW Arena rather than the indie fans who had come to events at the old building for the last 12 years since ECW as we knew it ceased to exist. The building didn't belong to those fans anymore, the ones who came and cheered for what was then the most cutting-edge mainstream wrestling promotion in history. Much like the bleachers were torn down and replaced with folding chairs on a flat floor, the makeup of the average fan who came to watch wrestling there had changed. Whether it was some of those fans evolving, or whether it was a new breed of fan coming in to see something different, they were the fans who deserved to set the tone for the evening, not the ones who abandoned ship when Paul Heyman finally ran out of money and sold off to WWE.

Yet, it was the old-school fans, many of whom probably had not attended an Arena show since either the last ECW show or the One Night Stand WWE ran from the building years later, who took over the tenor of the crowd and ruined what should have been a memorable close to the main EVOLVE card. While I'd agree that the Johnny Gargano/Ricochet match may have gone on a bit too long, it certainly didn't warrant the "Take it home!" chants it was getting. In fact, no match really does. That's a fucking ignorant thing to chant. So is "THIS MATCH DOESN'T DESERVE TO CLOSE THE ECW ARENA," which was something a real person said sitting about 8 seats to my left. The guy, who was a habitual chanter all during the match, had a straggling blonde goatee and wore a hockey jersey from the original WWE One Night Stand. He was part of this vocal minority that overran the main event and really made it so bad that even Rich Swann, who was at ringside seconding his stablemate Gargano, turned into the crowd and gave a disapproving stare.

When it was happening, I was pissed off at the fans who seemingly paid a ticket to see an event headlined by Gargano and Ricochet just to boo them because they weren't New Jack and Sandman. Why pay the ticket at all then? Why waste the money to shit on art? Why ignore the surroundings of Gargano being helped out of the ringside area with a legit-looking injury (although legit-looking is still cause enough to be noted as a work in this industry, but whatever) just to loudly pan the match as "mediocre at best"? Then the post-match stuff happened and I realized these fans weren't to blame. They were promised an ECW reunion, and that's what they came to see. That's what was marketed to them. As I watched Sabu tear Justin Credible's head wide open with a screwdriver, only to have the ref take the screwdriver from him to a chant of "AAAAAASSSHOOOOOOOOOLE! AAAAAAAASSSSHOOOOOOLE!", the problem wasn't with the crowd. It wasn't even with me and the other people who came there to see guys like Gargano, Ricochet, Swann, Chuck Taylor, AR Fox, Jigsaw and the rest. It was with Sapolsky.

For a guy who runs a promotion called EVOLVE, he certainly had his head stuck so far in the past he could have risked tearing the space-time continuum asunder by greeting his younger self with the way this event was sold to the public. A man who aspires to want to move wrestling forward should not have put on the event he put on Saturday night, especially with the way it ended. It's okay to pay tribute to the past, but hasn't the ECW roster gotten enough farewells, sendoffs and requiems by everyone in the wrestling industry? WWE had two One Night Stands. TNA did Hardcore Justice. There have been a million "hardcore reunion" events with one more in the pipes if Shane Douglas is to be believed. When do we stop eulogizing and honoring ECW and start to pay tribute to the other wrestling that made that building great?

It would have been one thing if Styles, New Jack, Sabu and the rest of the crew had come back to give short thoughts and to pay homage to the building where they made their bones, but to act like ECW was the only thing that mattered there spits in the faces of some important wrestlers. Several major players in all the major companies around the world like CM Punk, Daniel Bryan, Christopher Daniels, Low Ki, Davey Richards and Colt Cabana among others have as much a claim to the Arena as New Jack and Sabu if not moreso since their stars are shining now. No matter what promotion was eternally affixed to the building, it didn't just belong to that company.

What should have been a sendoff to a building was hijacked into yet another chance for delusional fanboys to celebrate an era that has long since passed. Meanwhile, the guy who orchestrated it ended up abetting in the shitting on of two of his top young stars and the top belt in his promotion, all so he could make a quick buck off a bunch of people who will never step foot into one of his events again. It was the wrong message to send, the wrong thing to promote at the end of a show and certainly the wrong way to end an era that belonged to more than just ECW.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

New WWE Tag Team Champions Crowned at a House Show

2012-01-16T09:55:00.000-05:00

Your new Tag Champs, with their well-endowed valet
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Fans at the Oakland, CA WWE house show last night were treated to a title change, as Kofi Kingston and Evan Bourne dropped the WWE Tag Team Championships to Epico and Primo. The two teams have had a few matches against each other on TV lately, although it was hardly pressed as a major thing. With that in mind, I thought it was really cool they did the switch at a house show. It would've been lost in the shuffle on TV, because again, was it really that major a thing that anyone outside of Superstars devotees would really know a lot about it? At a house show though, it's a cool bonus for the crowd, and there's something about the mystery, the breaking news aspect of it that can create a buzz when it's announced on TV.

The house show title switch is something they used to do every once in awhile back in the day, with the most famous example being at the Madison Square Garden show right after Survivor Series 1994, when Diesel defeated Bob Backlund in 8 seconds to win the WWF Championship. Since that time, the house show has grown increasingly irrelevant, since ad revenue from TV ratings has taken over live gates as the main source of income for WWE. A lot of people, myself included, feel that the concept is a bit outmoded and should be toned down if not scrapped altogether. Then again, there is something to be said for a company going to every town it possibly can go to and getting its employees valuable experience working in front of a crowd. Almost like a live practice.

Anyway, if the house show is to exist, then there should be some incentive for me to go if it's not going to be on TV. Having title changes happen is a great way to do that. It's all part of making the WWE experience more than just what happens on Monday night and one Sunday a month.

Can We Pretend the Last 30 Minutes Didn't Happen?: EVOLVE 10 Review

2012-01-15T01:20:00.000-05:00

In the new format that has been adopted with permission and flattery by Ring Belles.

Highlights:

Low Ki came back and squashed Ahtu before announcing his arrival in EVOLVE
Cheech and Cloudy drew the first "You Fucked Up!" chant of the night in their break-up match, won by Cheech.
Jigsaw thanked fans for supporting Chikara at the Arena before putting on a show with AR Fox, winning with counter back suplex to the Lo Mein Pain.
Before dropping the match, Fox did provide the spot of the night, a springboard 450 plancha to the floor.
After the match, Sami Callihan came out and tried to goad Fox into hitting him.
Uhaa Nation hit two (TWO) standing shooting star presses en route to a victory over Pinkie Sanchez.
The Super Smash Bros. broke out a new, Mortal Kombat-themed double team move where Player Dos shouted "GET OVER HERE". It didn't help them get the victory as they fell to Ronin.
Jon Davis called out Finlay after defeating Kyle Matthews.
In a hard-hitting match, Bobby Fish defeated Sami Callihan with a knee bar.
After the match, Fox tried to goad Callihan into hitting him with a beer bottle, even going so far as to handcuff his own hands behind his back.
In the nominal main event of the evening, Johnny Gargano survived a 630 senton and countered with the Hurts Donut and the Gargano Escape.
After the main card, Joey Styles, Tod Gordon, JT Smith and Pitbull #1 came out to close the Arena, only to be accosted by DJ Hyde and a coterie of his CZW employees. The ensuing brawl saw Ballz Mahoney, New Jack and Sabu make run-ins on ECW's behalf and Justin Credible on CZW's.
In the final match in Arena history, Sabu defeated Justin Credible.
After the match, Callihan attacked Sabu and cut a promo about how he had taken ownership of the Arena from ECW.

Observations:

Ahtu looks like a guy who's just biding time before his WWE developmental contract arrives in the mail.
Either Ahtu got knocked loopy by the opening koppo kick from Low Ki, or he did a really, really good job selling.
For a grudge match, Cheech and Cloudy really didn't sell the fact that they hated each other.
The Scene against Alex Reynolds and John Silver was the best, most technically sound match that they could've had without being interesting at all.
I really dug Jigsaw's new ring gear.
Fox really has a high arch on his high flying moves, and it gives him an extra panache.
Seriously though, that springboard 450 to the outside was insane.
So was the finishing sequence.
Seriously, when did Nation join Blood Warriors?
Speaking of guys who don't feel like they're long for the indies, Nation has the look and he actually is a good wrestler. If he doesn't make it in WWE, then I have no idea how the wrestling business works, ever.
Ricochet sounded like he hasn't gone through puberty yet. Too bad, because his heel promo after the Nation/Pinkie match was good stuff.
Chuck Taylor showed again why he's one of the best performers in wrestling. After Rich Swann took a hard chop from Player Uno, Taylor put his flannel vest back on to shield against the barrage he'd take after being tagged in.
At one point during the match, the SSB and Ronin switched corners.
If wrestlers were Pokemon, Kyle Matthews would be what Grizzly Redwood evolved into.
Callihan and Fish traded a lot of kicks. A LOT of kicks.
That being said, I loved the psychology in the match. The leg work might have seemed excessive to some, but I dug it.
There were a few fans who, during the main event, started shitting on it. Yeah, I thought it went a LITTLE too long, but fuck, don't chant for New Jack while Gargano and Ricochet are doing their thing.
I almost considered leaving after the CZW guys came out and ran a fucking angle.
I seriously felt uncomfortable watching the unprotected chairshots, other weapon shots and Sabu digging a screwdriver into the head of Credible.
I'm not sure I've ever felt as out of place in that building as I did starting midway through Gargano/Ricochet. Never. It felt bad.

Match of the Night: I almost went with Callihan/Fish, as that was a really good match with great psych, but at the same time, there's something about the spectacle of being there for a balls-out spotfest live in the arena. The Super Smash Bros. vs. Rich Swann and Chuck Taylor of Ronin provided that insanity in spades. It started out like a somewhat regular tag match, although Taylor was in full antic mode the whole time, as I mentioned above with putting on his vest to shield himself from hard chops. Taylor is a guy who gets how to be a wrestler between the ropes, and sometimes, that's an art that feels like it's missing in some matches.

The story of this match really wasn't in structure because there really wasn't one. Well, at least it didn't feel like there was one to the naked eye. It was chaotic, but I think it an almost oxymoronic way, there was a method to the madness. Some spotfests feel choreographed, but this tread a fine line. All four guys were game here. I think the Smash Bros. had my favorite spots of the night, one with Dos landing a double Pele kick with perfect precision. The second was the "Get Over Here!" spot, where Uno was on his back with his knees up. He had Swann prone, and Dos shouted "GET OVER HERE". AT this cue, Uno shoved Swann into Dos, who delivered an exploder that threw Swann into a seated Taylor in the corner. I just ham-fisted that description, so hopefully, this ends up on Youtube sooner rather than later so everyone can see it for themselves.

A great match always has a great finish, and this was no exception. After breaking up their finisher, Taylor had Dos on the top rope, setting up for the Omega Driver. Dos wiggled out of it, and then countered a clothesline with a Matrix dip and a kip up... which landed him back in Taylor's clutches for a successful Omega Driver. Pretty spiffy finish for a wholly enjoyable junk food wrestling match.

Overall Impressions: If this show ended after Gargano/Ricochet and had a more EVOLVE/modern indie crowd, I think it might have played off a lot better. That being said, the fans who shat on the main event, one of which was sitting like ten seats over from me predictably wearing an ECW One Night Stand hockey jersey, totally soured me on the experience. Why would anyone pay money for a ticket with the main event announced as it was and then shout "THIS MATCH DOESN'T DESERVE TO CLOSE THE ARENA!"? Seriously? The postscript felt so out of place. People like to rag on the modern indie style for the hard strikes and the borderline head drops, but there was nothing as overtly dangerous with respect to concussions and head trauma before the ECW originals and CZW usurpers came out.

Seriously, was there any reason to run that angle with DJ Hyde and the CZW guys being chased off by New Jack and Ballz Mahoney? Okay, the event was marketed more with an ear to the ECW holdovers, so maybe I shouldn't complain about that, but at the same time, I felt like that postscript did a disservice to the wrestlers who busted their asses in the nine matches previous. If we keep holding onto the past, the guys who are the present of wrestling can never develop into the future legends. People want to knock the current crop of guys for not being stars? EVOLVE 10 was the biggest example of the way management doesn't put them in position to be stars. Gargano, Ricochet, Fox, Jigsaw, Davis, Nation, Pinkie and Low Ki all have the talent to be the guys, and the event was marketed to people who wanted to see New Jack do the same thing he used to do 15 years ago. If the people of today are treated like afterthoughts, people will continue to regard them as afterthoughts, and that's a shame. Granted, Sami Callihan got to close the show by taking out Sabu and being able to cut his promo putting himself over, but that's one guy out of a whole slate of hungry young wrestlers who could've been given the shine. That's not enough, especially when the guys who did show up are all broken down husks, shells of themselves who are sucking fumes right now.

EVOLVE 10 as it was was a fine show, but it would've been a far better show had it not been the final one in the ECW Arena's history. The wrestling industry has changed, and instead of cultivating a new crowd, Gabe and his company decided to pander to an old crowd that was only interested in having their nostalgia sated. That kind of thing is better left for a Hardcore Homecoming show or some other ill-advised reunion, not for a wrestling company named for the kind of change one goes through by moving forward.

Full Results:

Low Ki pinned Ahtu
Cheech Hernandez pinned KC "Cloudy" Day
The Scene defeated Alex Reynolds and John Silver when Scott Reed pinned Reynolds
Jigsaw pinned AR Fox
Uhaa Nation pinned Pinkie Sanchez
Ronin (Chuck Taylor and Rich Swann) defeated the Super Smash Bros. (Players Uno and Dos) when Taylor pinned Dos
Jon Davis pinned Kyle Matthews
Bobby Fish tapped Sami Callihan
Johnny Gargano retained his Open the Freedom Gate Championship via submission over Ricochet
Sabu pinned Justin Credible

Future Endeavors 1/13 Power Poll: Chris Jericho Still Rules

2012-01-14T14:50:00.000-05:00

Someone should call his mother, now
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to yet another edition of the Future Endeavors Power Poll, a poll ranking wrestlers on a weekly basis based on how awesomely they performed or were portrayed on a Tuesday-to-Monday cycle. It is voted by a who's-who of wrestling bloggers, including my blogging General I-Broh PizzaBodySlam. I will list the top ten, and then post and comment on my ballot. Here goes:

1. Chris Jericho (Last week: 1)
2. Brodus Clay (Not rated)
3. Daniel Bryan (5)
4. CM Punk (6)
5. Kane (2)
6. Cody Rhodes (8)
7. R-Truth (9)
8. Zack Ryder (7)
9. The Ghan-Am Connection (Evan Bourne and Kofi Kingston) (NR)
10. Ricardo Rodriguez (NR)

And now, my ballot:

1. Chris Jericho - Was he crying because he was so overcome by emotion, or was it out of the fact that his favorite snack food, the Twinkie, was in danger thanks to Hostess filing for bankruptcy. Okay, maybe I made part of that up, but what part was it?

2. Brodus Clay - Millions of years from now, the floating brains encased in sentient plasma who have replaced us as the dominant lifeform on this planet will go to museums and gaze upon the fossilized remains of the Funkasaurus. And it will be sublime.

3. CM Punk - This week on RAW, in true Abobo's Big Adventure-style, CM Punk will wrestle an amalgamation of Jack Swagger and Dolph Ziggler, although unlike in ABB, there won't be any blood. Boooooo.

4. Ricardo Rodriguez - His remix of "La Cucuracha" would've went to #1, but it wasn't Auto-tuned.

5. Daniel Bryan - The only way Bryan would be better now is if he shaved his beard and grew a wispy, Snidely Whiplash-style moustache that he twirled every time he said something insincere.

6. Robert Roode - The term "Selfish Generation" HAD to be Roode's idea, because there's no one in TNA's front office I think is clever enough to come up with that character or angle.

7. Johnny Ace - Big Johnny originally was going to have fly girls a la Brodus Clay, but they thought it might get him too much of a positive fan reaction.

8. Zack Ryder - Much in the same way Ryder's character predated the Jersey Shore, my guess is his turn as Kane's stalking victim will foreshadow Snooki getting gored to death in the next big horror movie later on this year.

9. Kane - Am I the only person who would be pissed if this Cena/Kane angle didn't end in a Coal Miner's Glove match? I'd be totally okay with it if I was, by the way.

10. Bully Ray - A sympathy vote since he had to wrestle Abyss at Genesis. At least he didn't have to be in a three-way featuring RVD as well.

Wait, People Are Pissed Off About This?

2012-01-14T12:10:00.000-05:00

I'd rather see Punk with this mannequin then tune into UFC to see him with Chael Sonnen
Photo Credit: WWE.com

UFC's next free TV event on FOX is taking place in Chicago, and there were some rumblings that Chicago native and MMA fan CM Punk would accompany Chael Sonnen to the ring. I ignored it, obviously, because I don't give a flying shit about UFC or MMA. Then I saw this nugget on Cageside Seats, where not only was it reported that Vince McMahon nixed the proposed appearance, but some guy named "Front Row Brian" pitched a major bitch fit about it. Here's what he tweeted, transcribed by Keith Harris at CSS.

Vince McMahon has changed his mind. He will NOT allow @CMPunk to walk out w/ Chael Sonnen. Won't even allow Punk to attend the show as fan

So, if Vince sticks to his guns, No Cult of Personality in Chicago on 1/28. Shame. http://youtu.be/PqUl6n92DJg

Vince McMahon missed out a BIG opportunity to put @CMPunk OVER HUGE by not allowing him to appear at @UFConFOX w/ Chael Sonnen.

I'm told V. McMahon's decision to revoke CM Punk's permission to appear w/ C. Sonnen on FOX is "likely" linked to Lesnar UFC/WWE situation

By not allowing @CMPunk to attend @UFCONFOX, VINCE SCREWED VINCE. .......................... (you wrestling fans will get the reference).

Vince screwed Vince, really? How, by not letting his biggest competition for pay-per-view money get free publicity from one of his biggest stars? Again, there is overlap between the audiences, but the people who already watch pro wrestling aren't going to be more interested in WWE by seeing Punk at a UFC event. My guess is they'll think it cool, and that's it. Meanwhile, the people who watch MMA and not wrestling probably won't be enticed to watch wrestling just for the appearance of Punk. In fact, I'd be more inclined to believe that wrestling fans would be more inclined to check out UFC on FOX because Punk was appearing.

If WWE wanted to attract MMA fans back to wrestling, aside from the obvious of writing a better show, they'd want to have a UFC name show up at one of their shows, whether it was a current guy like Sonnen or an alumnus like, say, Chuck Liddell. It's all about bringing the other fans to WWE programming, not sending WWE wrestlers to other programs. It's not rocket science. For people to get pissed about this like WWE is missing an opportunity is just more shortsightedness and overrating of how much a wrestler just appearing at a UFC event can impact business.

Of course, I think we'd have a lot better atmosphere for being wrestling fans and for discussion if we stopped worrying about business and instead focused on being critics of the art of wrestling, but I realize I'm fighting a losing battle on that front anyway. Whatevs, yo.

Friday Five: ECW Arena

2012-01-13T14:50:00.000-05:00

The ECW Arena is closing tomorrow night. All about the memories in this one.

1. What is the best match you've seen that took place at The Arena?

2. Buy or sell: The ECW Arena was the most famous wrestling venue in the '90s and beyond.

3. What did you primarily know the arena as if you didn't always refer it to the ECW Arena?

4. Bleachers or folding chairs?

5. After ECW closed, which promotion made the strongest claim to making The Arena its home?

Farewell, Old Home: EVOLVE 10 Preview

2012-01-12T14:45:00.001-05:00

Already a Tag Champ, will Ricochet escape the final
Arena show with singles gold as well?

Saturday night at 8 PM Eastern, the ECW Arena in Philadelphia will host its final wrestling show ever. EVOLVE is the company holding court, and on a night when several former ECW standouts come back to the building where they became famous, it will most certainly be the young guns of the wrestling industry who will make this a night to remember.

The past will definitely be on display, as there is a tribute to ECW and the Arena itself planned. WWE was nice enough to let Joey Styles MC the proceedings, and there will be more than one guest to help the voice of ECW pay tribute to the building. The only one confirmed so far is New Jack, although I suspect Sabu (who's worked for DGUSA this year), Tommy Dreamer (who has been around the Arena a lot since leaving WWE) and 2Cold Scorpio (another guy with ties to Gabe Sapolsky and DGUSA) are three others who are likely to be there. That's only a guess though, so don't quote me on it. I expect it'll be emotional, as a lot of history was made in that building. Not only was it a home to the company that gave it its name, it also served as a home base for any independent promotion that looked to make Philly its home, from CZW all the way up to Dragon Gate USA.

While the memories will be on full display, there is a definite eye on the present and to the future here. The show will be headlined by a DGUSA Open the Freedom Gate Championship defense by new titleholder Johnny Gargano against Ricochet. On Black Friday, it was announced that DGUSA and EVOLVE would merge under one banner, which is the reason for the title defense. Ricochet is a member of the controversial Blood Warriors stable that has run amok in DGUSA since its formation in the beginning of 2010, and he already has one half of the Open the United Gate Championships in his possession. Gargano will be making his first defense after defeating YAMATO in the final card promoted by DGUSA in 2010. This match will come as close to the high flying, high workrate style of the Toryumon gym without having any of the direct scions from that school competing in it. Ricochet can not only ignite some pyrotechnics with his own arsenal of offense, he's developed somewhat of a cocky attitude in the last year. We all know Gargano has a big opinion of himself, so the clashing of egos should add even more gunpowder to the potential explosion that will end up being the final match in Arena history.

For those who like their wrestling a little less airborne and a lot more like the brutal clanking of a sledgehammer against a 100 lb. anvil, Sami Callihan and Bobby Fish is the nominal semi-main event. This is a rematch from a semifinal match in the EVOLVE 8 Style Battle tournament, where Callihan representing the "hard-hitting" style stopped Fish, representing "puroresu jr. heavyweight" with a ref stoppage due to a barrage of elbows. For as nasty a match as that was, this rematch promises to be all the meaner and more brutal. Fish, who is gaining a head of steam after his dreadful 2010 losing streak, wants a bit of revenge for getting his clock thoroughly cleaned, while Callihan, who is one half of the Dirty Ugly Fucks, can't be all too happy about ending 2011 without capturing the United Gate Championships with Arik Cannon. Something has to give here, and my bet is it'll be at least one tooth from one of these guys' jawlines. This is pretty much my preemptive pick for match of the night.

Then again, there are two other dark horse candidates to take home the match of the night mantel. The first is a "special challenge match" between AR Fox, who won every tournament under the sun in 2011 except the Beyond Tournament for Tomorrow, and one of Chikara's finest exports, Jigsaw. While the main event will have some fireworks, I wouldn't sleep on this match either, even though neither Fox nor Jig have the egos to match 'Chet or Gargano. That being said, both guys bring in the chops when it comes to pure wrestling. Fox is gaining a reputation for the things he can do while jumping off ropes, turnbuckles and even from standing positions. He's part of a new breed of high flyer that includes Ricochet, ACH and is arguably led by PAC and Jack Evans. Jigsaw is more of a hybrid wrestler, although I've seen what he can do soaring through the air. He's no slouch either, but if this match has any strikes that will make the crowd cringe in sympathy pains, they'll be coming from Jig.

The other match that I'm very interested in seeing is the other "special challenge match" announced, Uhaa Nation against Pinkie Sanchez. This will be a classic size mismatch bump-fest. Sanchez has shown willingness to land some pretty crazy spots both on offense and defense, and Nation is one of the most impressive newcomers on the indie scene. The guy not only has big muscles and big talent, but he's got an animal magnetism that has earned him a cult following even in his infancy as a wrestler in the Northeastern US. If anything, I expect this one to be an entertaining spectacle to say the least, if just for Pinkie's facial expressions and his sexual spider monkey tenacity.

The rest of the card looks like it has some potential to it. In a tag team match, the Super Smash Brothers will battle with Gargano's two stablemates in Ronin, Chuck Taylor and Rich Swann. Up in Smoke apparently had a falling out, as Cheech and Cloudy will do battle in a grudge match. In a tag team attraction bout, The Scene of Caleb Konley and Scott Reed will battle John Silver and Alex Reynolds, and Kyle Matthews will make his EVOLVE debut against an always-grumpy Jon Davis. There may be a few surprises, as Larry Dallas is promised to be there with his find, Ahtu among other things.

For those within driving distance of Philadelphia or who are willing to make a big road trip, tickets are still available. For those who can't or aren't, the event will be broadcast live on iPPV via WWNLive.com. It'll be a bittersweet event, but if the ECW Arena has to go out, this is a great card to send it out on.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

In Which Todd Grisham Shares Way Too Much Personal Information

2012-01-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

Via Deadspin

Todd Grisham followed in the footsteps of Jonathan Coachman in going from WWE to ESPN. While Coachman has pretty much taken the transition well, Grisham's first months on the job haven't been as kind to him. After comparing a college football loss to the systematic upheaval of Native Americans from their ancestral home across the country earlier last year, he went on to share with America that he had a kidney stone to kick off his highlight package last night. Good Lord. I always liked Grisham, but seriously, that's not good.

I swear, I have actual, real content for today, not just links and pics. I SWEAR! Bear with me!

TWIOT: This Bumper Sticker Makes a Valid Point

2012-01-12T09:50:00.000-05:00

Via George Takei's Facebook

I got nothin' else this morning in terms of non-wrestling fare, so I leave my readers with this bumper sticker. I think it makes a valid point, since the big argument against same-sex marriage is that it somehow magically destroys the sanctity of the institution. I think we can all agree divorce destroys it much worse, doesn't it?

The Wrestling Podcast, Episode 36: Burnsy

2012-01-11T23:40:00.000-05:00

We talk about this guy and much more
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Episode 36: A Crow Sting Left of the Murder

Ashley Burns, aka Burnsy, makes his presence felt on the podcast this week, where we reminisce mostly about classic wrestling from the late '90s. We talk about the bloated nature of the nWo, wrestling writing in general, the Summer of Punk II, where WWE went wrong with not ripping on the NBA and the state of wrestling rumor reporting as relating to sports rumors. Burnsy also has a story about how he may have been responsible for a Buff Bagwell US Title reign and other things in WCW. We also venture into some sports talk, mainly the NBA and MLB. Finally, we bring it on home with some movie chat, including the shittiest movies of 2011, why Coming to America kinda rules and how curse words are always awkwardly edited out of TV showings of movies. People can find Burnsy at With Leather, Film Drunk, Warming Glow and UPROXX.

Direct link for your downloading pleasure

Hulk Hogan Nightmare Fuel

2012-01-11T14:45:00.000-05:00

Via @FlyGoalScoredBy

This is kind of like those mouth eyes pictures Kissing Suzy Kolber is known for posting. Either way, it's creepy as hell. Damn Hulkster. Damn.

The Answer Key: TH Answers His Own Friday Fives

2012-01-11T13:40:00.000-05:00

The next guy?
Photo Credit: WWE.com

The Friday Five feature is one my oldest ones here on the blog, and it's one where I blatantly try to fish for user interaction. I do ask some questions though that I think I'd have a good time answering. So, I'm gonna take five previous F-5s (not all of them in order) and answer them here. Why? Because I want to, that's why. Here goes:

2012

1. What wrestler makes "The Leap" in 2012? - Defining "The Leap" as the jump from upper midcard hell to the main event, the answer is most obviously Dolph Ziggler. That transition has already started with a bona fide program with CM Punk (although we all saw how well that same thinking went last year with a feud with Edge). In 2011, he proved that he has all the tools to make it in the main event, adding all kinds of different quirks to his character that offset his dreadful name. He's totally going to be at the top at year's end.

2. Buy or sell: Brock Lesnar is coming back to pro wrestling in this calendar year. - Sell. He's a Mania-level guy coming into a year where there isn't room for him on the Mania card without ruffling some feathers. Besides, he's probably got some recovering to do before he's ready to take on a scaled-back version of the schedule that drove him away from pro wrestling to begin with.

3. Which promotions are you going to make more of an effort to check out this year? - The smaller and less local indie feds outside of the same ROH/PWG/Chikara/Gabe circle. That means more Beyond, more AIW, more AAW and more ACW among others.

4. Do you think that the forthcoming Wrestling Revolution Project is going to have an impact on how we consume wrestling is changed? - Wrestling is a business notoriously full of people biting ideas off other people. Therefore, if WRP has even a modicum of success distributing wrestling through Netflix and other alternative means, you bet your sweet ass that WWE, TNA and even certain smaller promotions will look at that as a business model.

5. FILL IN THE BLANKS: When 2012 is over, ______________, ________________, _______________ and __________________ will be holding the WWE, World, TNA and ROH Championships, respectively. - John Cena, Wade Barrett, Mr. Anderson and Davey Richards

Player Movement

1. Who is the one guy not signed to a WWE, TNA, ROH or DGUSA contract that you're surprised is still a free agent? - Colt Cabana, obviously. He's not only the most gifted comedic performer out there and a rock-solid technical wrestler, but he brings the added bonus of having his own podcast to help promote whatever any company wants to do.

2. Buy or sell: The lack of a promotion on WWE's level has made following "ship jumping" really boring. - Buy all day long. The lack of a WCW has given WWE titanic leverage over wrestlers who want to stay relevant in America. When a guy like MVP goes to Japan or Batista into MMA, it's not news because it's not wrestling we consume. When Elijah Burke or Ken Anderson go to TNA, no one cares because TNA is a non-entity.

3. If you were going to give a 10 year, $250M contract to any wrestler, which one would it be? - It would have to be someone who's a combination of young and proven at a high level. For me, that's CM Punk, a guy who has 20 years left in him if he's well protected and who definitely has cache with fans.

4. Which wrestler would benefit most from a change in scenery? - Stock answer would be Samoa Joe, but it's a stock answer because it's so blindingly obvious that his soul is being drained working for TNA. Move him to WWE and he might have something to work for. Going back to the indies would be a retread, but he'd at least have a role. In TNA, he doesn't even have that.

5. Make a trade between two promotions (stateside, lucha or puroresu) that you think would benefit both sides. - Tyson Kidd to Dragon Gate for Akira Tozawa. Kidd would have the name cache of being a Hart Dungeon graduate, and he'd have opportunities for advancement that he's just run out of or was never given in WWE. Tozawa is the kind of transcendent talent whose charisma wouldn't be able to be ignored by anyone. He'd grab WWE by the nutsac and drag it along into giving him all the time he'd need to take the crowd in the palm of his hand.

Cage Matches

1. Which cage do you prefer, chain link or big blue rebar? - As a child of the WWF, my answer is skewed towards the big blue rebar. Then again, that cage allowed for better visibility, more brutality and certainly an easier climb for guys who were already subjecting themselves to even more physical pain than in a normal wrestling match.

2. Buy or sell: Thanks to overuse and Hell in a Cell, the cage match isn't special anymore. - Sell, if only slightly. The cage match isn't what it used to be, but when the match itself is great, the cage still feels special. Case in point, Mark Henry vs. Daniel Bryan on Smackdown a month or so ago.

3. Escape the cage: stupid rule or great for high drama? - If one had asked me in 1998, I'd have said great for high drama. Now, in my crotchety old age? It's fucking stupid.

4. Is blood essential for a good cage match? - No, and again, I point to Henry/Bryan as a GREAT cage match that didn't even tease blood.

5. Favorite cage match ever? - Bret Hart (c) vs. Owen Hart, WWF Championship Match at SummerSlam 1994

Tag Teams

1. What two active wrestlers do you want to see in a tag team? Two all-time wrestlers? - Active, Chris Jericho and Daniel Bryan, just because I feel like it would be a great mentor/apprentice relationship, even if the apprentice is the World Champion. All-time, Rey Mysterio and Vader. I love the idea of big guy/small guy team-ups, especially when it comes to tandem moves. Plus the idea of a Mysterio rana into Vader moonsault combo finisher gets my blood pumping.

2. Buy or sell: David Otunga and Michael McGillicutty have become decent as a tag team. - Buy for the time, but man, did that team fizzle out.

3. What current promotion has the best tag team scene? - PWG. Their Tag Championships are arguably the most prestigious. They have DDT4, an annual tournament that is dedicated to tag team wrestling. They have the most tag teams going at any time, and all of them have something to hang their hats on. I dare say it's not even close.

4. Would you watch an all-tag team promotion or a WWE/Impact show devoted solely to tag teams? - YES.

5. Favorite all-time tag team match? - It's a toss-up for me. Chris Jericho and He Who Shall Not Be Named vs. Triple H and Steve Austin may be the best free TV match I've ever seen as well as the best tag match. Money Inc. vs. the Steiner Bros. in the big blue cage on Saturday Night's Main Event was another indelible memory for me. More recently, the Young Bucks have had two really awesome matches in the last three or so years, one against CIMA and Susumu Yokosuka at the first DGUSA show and another vs. Kevin Steen and Akira Tozawa at 2011's DDT4 final that stand out for me. Eh, I'll submit to nostalgia and go Two Man Power Trip vs. Chrises Squared.

Women in Wrestling

1. Who is your favorite female wrestler right now? Of all-time? - Sara del Rey would be the answer to both those questions.

2. Do you think intergender wrestling could work at all in WWE? - In theory, yes, it could totally work. Female wrestling fans are a largely untapped resource that WWE virtually ignores or panders to with base slogans like "The Divas are smart, sexy and powerful!" Given the right angle to break the seal, there's no reason why women competing against men on the reg would be a successful strategy for them. In practice though, it'll never happen until the culture at Stamford completely changes, which may never happen.

3. Which of the WWE's Divas do you think would be better suited to be a valet instead of a wrestler? - Eve Torres, mainly because unlike Kelly Kelly, she actually does look like she's aware of her surroundings and can actually function as a human being instead of a smiling, waving automaton.

4. If you had to choose a female valet among these three, which would you pick: Chyna, the muscular bodyguard, Marlena, the scheming, salacious and sexual meddler or Miss Elizabeth, the innocent girl next door? - Marlena definitely, because the most distracting thing to any straight male opponent of mine would be having a sexy valet flaunting it.

5. Is Cyndi Lauper the most influential female in wrestling history? Why or why not? - She's underrated in terms of influence, but no, she's not the most influential female ever. That would go to the forebearers of joshi in Japan, who actually created a culture where women wrestling was important, not just being there fore eye candy.

Your Midweek Links: Tebow and the Funkasaur

2012-01-11T08:30:00.000-05:00

Get funky!
Photo Credit: WWE.com

It's hump day, so here are some links to get you through the rest of the week!

Self-Shilling:

- Razor stops by the podcast again to talk about Chris Jericho mostly. [Episode 35: Strong ARMBAR of the Law]

- My offering last week for the Camel Clutch Blog, only why RAW should ALWAYS be Jericho [Chris Jericho Is the Best of All-Time]

- ...and my column this week, all about Brodus Clay's debut and why it was pretty snazzy. [The Funkasaurus Rules]

- I made breakfast burritos. WITH BACON. Check it out on Holzerman Hungers! [Breakfast Sandwich Porn: The Burrito Edition]

Wrestling Links:

- The Best and Worst of RAW, featuring a shout out to my totally inappropriate but totally true comment from Twitter about Rosa Mendes' rack [With Leather]

- Did you want to relive the Funkasaurus' epic debut from Monday? WATCH IT HERE [Cageside Seats]

- The debut of Big Brodus speaks to this maxim - wrestling should be FUN [Grapple Kingdom]

- ROH has gotten so bland even The Classical has taken notice. [The Classical]

- All you folks in Louisville check this show out. It's a pro 'rasslin stage show! [Louisville, KY]

- Pro wrestlers as superheroes. Love the mentions for Quack and Mantis. [Comics Alliance]

- MEME ALERT! Philoso-Cena! [Feminine Smark]

- The feminine Aussie invasion continues! [Ring Belles]

Non-Wrestling Links:

- My buddy Bill reviewed some choice beers for drinking during the last UFC event. Conversely, the only way you could get me to watch UFC is if I was heavily drunk. [MMA Mania]

- Watch this rejected Super Bowl commercial. If this one's rejected, then... well the rest of them probably suck because old white ad execs have no idea what sells products nowadays. [Warming Glow]

- The 100 best sports .gifs of the year. [SB Nation]

- Son stands up to his father for his little brother. Very inspiring read. [Huffington Post]

- The 10 worst losses for Philly sports in 2011. [The 700 Level]

- Drew Magary on why burger joints that don't offer bacon are worse than serial killers [Deadspin]

- The goon in hockey may be going by the wayside, but if you can fight and score, you're valuable [Puck Daddy]

- Gnome comic! [Imgur Gallery]

- Spencer Hall with a beautiful elegy for the college football season, set against the backdrop of New Orleans and the BCS Championship Game. [SB Nation]

TEBOW

- Josh Zerkle imagines the Tebow becoming a standard unit of measurement. Only 10% more convoluted than the English system! [The Go Route]

- How Dick LeBeau took Tim Tebow too seriously and not seriously enough at the same time Sunday [Deadspin]

- Those Taiwanese animators gave Tebow their own special treatment, featuring a CGI crucifixion. Sacrelicious! [Shutdown Corner]

The Best Moves Ever: Chikara Special

2012-01-11T07:30:00.000-05:00

The signature move taught to students in the Chikara Wrestle Factory, the Chikara Special is a strange bird. Some people think it doesn't look like it hurts. Well, those people are haters. It's a top combination wrist and ankle lock while the victim is trapped on his back. To me, that's an awesome submission hold. Plus, the move itself was the focus of a year-long story in Chikara. THAT's some cool stuff.

Wrestling Six Packs: Most Anticipated Indie Matches in the Next Month or So

2012-01-10T20:50:00.000-05:00

The feud that doesn't end will continue at KRR III

January is somewhat of a slow month for indie wrestling, as most companies are warming up after their holiday naps. It's the nature of the indie promotion, really. Almost all of them are on yearly cycles, unlike WWE, where their year pretty much winds down starting in January. That being said, January and in a way February are still not to be slept upon for great matches. Here are six matches that I'm excited out of my gourd to see that have already been signed.

1. Kevin Steen, Super Dragon and Akira Tozawa vs. El Generico, PAC and Masato Yoshino - 1/29, PWG

After six months away from PWG, Tozawa will come back for Kurt RussellReunion III to team with his Kings of Sexual Intercourse partner Kevin Steen and his new BFF Super Dragon in a dream match among all dream matches. Across the ring from them will be three of the most electric, explosive and eclectic wrestlers on the scene right now. PAC and Generico are no strangers to each other as opponents, but as teammates, the fireworks are amplified. Add in Yoshino, who is the quickest wrestler I've ever seen, and that is a team that can do things in the blink of an eye. It's a contrast of styles, but all six men know each other and have long, detailed histories. If anyone isn't up for this match, I'm not sure they have a pulse.

2. Green Ant vs. Mike Quackenbush - 1/28, Chikara

They've had two very good, very crisp technical wrestling affairs in 2010 and early 2011. Things have changed though, mostly on Green Ant's end. He's come of age so to speak. Quack is fresh off one student-teacher battle at High Noon against Eddie Kingston, and he showed a side that felt a little more cruel than tough love. Will Quack have as much frustration in his eyes when Green Ant shows him how much he's grown? Either way, the actual wrestling in this match will be more than solid.

3. Mickie Knuckles (c) vs. Sara del Rey, AIW Women's Championship Match - 1/29, AIW

The headline match for Girls' Night Out V seems like it should be a dandy. I've never seen Knuckles before, but she has a reputation as being a wrecking ball. I like wrecking ball-style wrestlers. Plus, she'll be in there with del Rey, who had an epic 2011. The Queen of Wrestling has had good matches with everyone she's been in contact with, and I have no doubt this one will end up being a great kickoff of 2012 for her, for Knuckles and for AIW in general.

4. The Briscoe Brothers vs. Hallowicked and Jigsaw - 1/20, ROH

The word JUST came down today that 'Wicked and Jig would be the Briscoes' proving ground challengers. I would've liked to have seen a regular tag team, but hey, it's not like the two don't have synergy. They're both longtime Chikara regulars, and they both have the mettle it takes to stand up to Dem Boys. This one won't be for the faint of heart, and if the Chikara sekigun weren't wearing masks and the Briscoes had more than a half-a-mouth of teeth between them, I'd say someone would be viable to lose a tooth in this match.

5. Gran Akuma vs. Icarus - 1/29, Chikara

A match over a year in the making, although I suspect it'll be more of the beginning of this leg of their journey rather than an endpoint. Still, it's great to see Akuma back in Chikara, even if it'll be weird cheering him. Very weird. Still, anyone who wants to kick Icarus' head clean off his shoulders is fine by me.

6. Portia Perez vs. RD Evans - 1/15, ACW

Finally, we get to Texas for a blood feud between two of the best performers in the world, bar none. The two have had a strange path to this match, which included Evans posing as a robot to get close to Perez. This is a true Texas Death Match, and it should be one that continues to prove that the gender barrier in wrestling is becoming increasingly irrelevant.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

A Man of 1004 Holds Only Needing One: Jericho's Ultimate Troll Option Match

2012-01-10T14:20:00.000-05:00

This match, only with more headlocks, please
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Chris Jericho last night continued on his path from his epic debut last week, saying nary a word during his RAW appearance. Once again, it was brilliant. The question of how long Jericho can keep this is up is one with a variant answer depending on whom is asked the question. I have little doubt he can keep up the weapons-grade trolling for a good long time out of the ring, but I doubt he returned to WWE solely to come out, smile, cry and shout interjections at the crowd. He's come back to wrestle. So, what is going to happen when he finally does step into the ring? Well, that's going to rely on a few things, but let's ask the real question here. How can Chris Jericho continue to troll everyone while he's in the ring wrestling? I have the perfect answer.

May 21, 2006 is a day that will more than likely live in infamy for the fans of Pro Wrestling Guerrilla. On that day, Bryan Danielson wrestled Claudio Castagnoli in a 15+ minute match that consisted mostly of a headlock from the latter to the former. The notoriously savvy and boisterously supportive fans of PWG fell silent during the affair, some even turning on the match. It remains to this day the greatest troll in the history of wrestling matches, ever. Oddly enough, both men are currently contracted by WWE as Daniel Bryan and Antonio Cesaro, respectively.

Now, WWE has had somewhat of a habit rehashing things from the indies in their own way. CM Punk's rise to the top has had a distinct flavor from the original Summer of Punk. Bryan right now seems to be calling back to his dickish heel character from FIP and ROH. With that in mind, my ideal Jericho v. 3.0 wrestling match would be a reimagining of the Danielson/Castagnoli PWG match, preferably against Bryan himself. Maybe instead of Jericho latching onto the headlock for the entire match, they could trade headlocks for fifteen minutes before Bryan retained his World Championship via roll-up. Then again, Jericho latching onto Bryan for 15 minutes screaming "YEAH BABY!" and "C'MON!" trying to get a tap out victory would be fucking hilarious as well.

OF course, if an indie crowd shit all over a headlock-driven bout, one could only imagine how a WWE crowd would take it. Then again, wouldn't it be about the crowd growing visceral with hatred towards both Jericho and Bryan? That is, unless they just lose interest, which is a possibility. Of course, I'd make it so that it's sandwiched by two exciting matches to keep the crowd alive enough to hate the ever-loving shit out of both Jericho and Bryan (which is supposed to be the aim for both, right?).

Then again, maybe I'm taking the whole trolling thing too far. Maybe Chris Jericho should just wrestle normal matches against normal opponents without overuse of a resthold meaning only to piss off the crowd. But then again, I can't help it. When a guy is trolling the shit out of someone, I can't help but want to give them as many ideas as possible.

There's No Excuse for WWE Not to Hire Colt Cabana

2012-01-10T09:40:00.000-05:00

Why won't WWE hire this man?

If any readers out there are like me, then they loved the shit out of the debut of "The Funkasaurus" Brodus Clay last night. It was so fun, and a breath of fresh air to the constant stream of big guys who are presented as grunting monsters. Don't get me wrong, I love the grunting monsters too. Mark Henry has been one of my absolute favorites in the last six to eight months, but I also love variety. Big fat guys who have fun are awesome. So it follows that Colt Cabana, a somewhat fat guy who is probably the funnest guy in all wrestling, is one of my favorites.

Obviously, everyone thought Cabana was going to WWE after CM Punk famously mentioned him in his original Pipe Bomb promo. That hiring never materialized, despite two tryout matches given to him before television tapings. The reasons were never really given officially, although scuttlebutt was that his body type wasn't exactly what WWE was looking for, and they weren't going for another funny character. Forget that there really can never be enough funny characters, and body type is irrelevant when it comes to how credibly a guy can "fight", whom WWE hires is up to them. However, why would they pass up a guy who is probably the best comedic wrestler ever only to put another guy with worse body type and less-proven comedic chops in a prominent role?

Honestly, there is no excuse for WWE to have passed up Cabana. It's not even that I'm arguing he should have been the Funkasaurus. Again, I loved Clay's reintroduction and am super-excited to see where he goes from here. However, there's no such thing as having too many comedic characters on a wrestling program, and if a company is going to put guys in comedic roles, why not go with the best? If Clay and Santino Marella are going to be on RAW, then why not let Cabana fill the comic relief role on Smackdown? Hell, let him go and wrestle all the talented guys Smackdown has to offer from Drew McIntyre to Cody Rhodes all the way up even to Sheamus and Daniel Bryan. It's a win for everyone involved.

I don't mean to be one of those shitheads out there who complains when Personality X or Celebrity Y takes a "spot" away from a "more deserving" indie wrestler. It isn't about deserving or about a guy getting his turn like wrestling is some sort of meritocracy. However, it is about the most talented guys getting to shine on a stage where they'll get to entertain the most people. Colt Cabana is WAY too talented to be sentenced to working the indie circuit. He deserves the big bucks and the spotlight, not in place of the Funkasaurus, but ALONG SIDE him.

And who knows, maybe Clay and Cabana can form the raddest odd couple tag team in history? I'd love to see that.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Diamonds Are Forever

2012-01-10T08:10:00.000-05:00

Photo Credit: WWE.com

The greatest stable of all-time, bar none. Who knows, maybe since they're inducting the Horsemen this year, they'll try to bring the art of the faction back. Or maybe not. That being said, it's been a long time coming to have Arn Anderson in some form in the Hall of Fame. WOOOOOOOO

Instant Feedback: Funkasaurus Rex, Baby

2012-01-09T23:30:00.000-05:00

So, if anyone told me that tonight, RAW would feature Brodus Clay debuting a silly gimmick, WWE recycle horror movie plots for the main event angle, Chris Jericho come out again and do what he did last week and Daniel Bryan only get two minutes to wrestle, well, I'd probably say there was a good chance the show would be pretty good. Wait, what? Yeah, a show like that sounded like it had a chance to be fun, and the way it played out tonight, it was extremely fun. Extremely. Seriously, what a rollicking two hours tonight.

For one, the main event angle works for me in a perverse way. The opening promo with Kane talking felt so stilted, but when he stalks like he's a horror movie villain, it's fluid television. It helps when the players assuming the role of the dumb victims, Zack Ryder and Eve, feel like they belong. As much as I rag on Eve, I have to say her reaction of terror after Kane's pyro hit was pitch-perfect. It was absurd that Ryder couldn't change a tire, but I think realism had to be thrown out the window here, since this was a total horror movie. I think a big reason why this story works for me is that John Cena is vulnerable. Hmm, they may be onto something...

Chris Jericho again was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. The man, without saying a word, is giving Shakespeare-level soliloquies out there. Last week was jubilation, this week, emotion. Next week, I'm so looking forward to what he's going to do without saying anything. Someone said he should do this for a year before leaving again. I don't agree with that, as there needs to be a second and third act, but this mime game is one hell of a first act. Jericho is the greatest ever, but then again, I'm biased.

Speaking of character development, look at Daniel Bryan, everyone. His heel turn has been so subtle, so nuanced over the last couple of weeks. He barely changed his character, as his good guy persona was always fun-loving, good-natured, exuberant. All he had to do was turn it up a little, and bam, he's become a fully-realized villain in a role where it's almost impossible for a guy his size to become effective. His promo work has been great too. It's some evidence that what works on the indies might be able to work on the big stage.

And hey, the wrestling was really good too. For the second week in a row, CM Punk turned in a great performance, this time with Jack Swagger. (and the "botch" finish I think was intentional) Dolph Ziggler, his opponent from last week, had himself a nice match with Cena until they did the same, tired old "look at the Titantron" distraction finish, although this one was somewhat worse since there WASN'T a definitive end to the match. It's a pretty big flaw, but at the same time, nothing is perfect (although I hate that this has become a habit). Be that as it may, the action in the match was still very good preceding. RAW doesn't have to be wall-to-wall with great wrestling, but if it has one or two matches a week that get time, then it's worth it. Then again, even though it was a short match, the Bryan/Kingston match was good if just that Bryan got that pretty spiffy LeBell Lock counter out of the crossbody attempt.

But the real star of the night for me was Brodus Clay. We all waited for him to debut as this monster with his vignettes, and bam, he debuts as the Funkasaurus? I was taken aback at first, I'll admit, but at the same time, wrestling is at its best when it's fun. Clay looked like he was having fun, the crowd was into it after a bit, and hell, it was amusing. Am I easily amused? Maybe, but I'm not sure that's a bad thing. WWE has Kane, Mark Henry and in a way, Big Show, as its serious monsters (again Show isn't as serious, but he's certainly able to get pissed). A goofy big guy is alright as long as its executed well. This week, it was executed well.

RAW was excellent tonight. Very fun, very lively (despite the crowd being deader than a bad handshake). I hope this is the tone for the rest of the year.

AIW Presents: Girls Night Out 5

2012-01-09T19:35:00.000-05:00

I normally don't repost press releases, but Absolute Intense Wrestling is one of the best indie promotions going today, and this is a concept I feel strongly about promoting. Here goes, thanks to Alyssa Kay for the heads up:

Tired of the bleach blondes and the fake nails? The Barbie doll wannabes and the screeching? The “stinkface” and a booty-pop as a finishing maneuver? Well, Divas and Knockouts beware! In just two short weeks, Absolute Intense Wrestling is brining you a whole new perspective when it comes to showcasing the best of women’s professional wrestling with Girls Night Out 5!

On Sunday, January 29th, 2012, the Puritas Lutheran Church on 13812 Bellaire Rd in Cleveland, Ohio will play the stage and stomping ground for a card full of brutal and beautiful women at a special 4 PM belltime. And with a low price of just $15.00 a ticket, it is impossible to miss a lineup that includes the likes of the following:

AIW Women’s Title Match- Mickie Knuckles(c) vs. Sara Del Rey: “The Walking Episode of Cops” Mickie Knuckles will be taking on “The Queen of Wrestling” and TWB's Bloggie Award winner for Independent Wrestler of the Year Sara Del Rey in what is sure to be a hard-hitting, and well-rounded match. Both women can wrestle diverse styles and have tackled the odds in battling both male and female competitors internationally. Not to mention that the last time they met in ’08, a winner was never declared due to an injury sustained by Knuckles in the ring. Knuckles has been a tough competitor and champion in AIW, but will she be enough to stop the Death Rey?

Marti Belle vs. Mia Yim: As a member of Flexor Industries, Mia Yim, who won the Bloggie for Breakout Wrestler of the Year, will be making her second appearance in AIW against Ms. Belle. This will also mark Belle’s second appearance in AIW. In the past she was able to pick up a pin, but will this put her at an advantage over Yim’s previous loss? Yim is looking for a bounceback, and with the devious Chest Flexor in her corner, there’s no doubt she’ll be looking for a pin in any way she can.

Cherry Bomb vs. Allysin Kay: The fan-favorite Cherry Bomb will be making her third appearance in AIW. After having competed in the past against both Veda Scott and international superstar Hailey Hatred, she's proven that she’s not just another pretty face. Allysin Kay, another member of Flexor Industries, may stand to be her toughest challenge yet. Kay has been on a losing spree in AIW, and this time, there’s no doubt that she’ll arrive with guns a-blazing.

Angel Dust vs. Gabby Gilbert (formerly known as Roxie Cotton): It’s been many months since either Dust or Gilbert have been seen in an AIW ring, thus marking this match as one that is bound to surely be explosive. Gilbert was last seen in the ring under the name Roxie Cotton in a “retirement match” against Portia Perez. After the match, she savagely attacked Portia stating that she was no longer going to be known under her spunky former moniker, but was now going under the name Gabby Gilbert. The fun and games were finished. She will be taking on another fan-favorite, Angel Dust, a former Women’s Champion in AIW. Though smaller in stature, Angel Dust has always proven that size doesn’t matter, holding her own in the likes of competitors such as Mena Libra and Sara Del Rey. This match is one that cannot be missed.

Veda Scott and a few other surprises are also scheduled to appear on the card.

As always, AIW includes a special “Guys Night Out” preshow before each main card. This event will include matches such as:

Rickey Shane Page vs. Eric Ryan
The Duke vs. Colin Delaney
Façade vs. Louis Lyndon

Expect these matches to be nothing short of a roller coaster ride, as these men, each with something to prove and a lot to defend steps into the squared circle.

Hope to see you there!

Seriously, if you're in the Cleveland area, check this out. If you're even close to said area, think about making the trip out, especially if you believe in women's wrestling. The lineup so far is killer. Help support AIW, help support indie wrestling.

Now That's How Business Should Be Done (Cena)

2012-01-09T17:15:00.000-05:00

Photo Credit: Darren Rovell

Via WrestleChat.Net

Sports business reporter, Twitter autocrat and the guy who didn't know that Vince McMahon losing his job to Triple H wasn't real Darren Rovell broke news today that John Cena will be appearing on 3 million boxes of Fruity Pebbles cereal starting next week. It's part of a promotion where a lucky fan will be in the running to meet Cena, win some of his gear and get tickets to a WWE event.

Of course, this all stems from The Rock bashing Cena's wardrobe as a never-ending stream of Fruity Pebbles. I have to say, it's impressive that Cena, WWE and Post are all taking what was a borderline homophobic slur used to denigrate the WWE's flagship wrestler and turning it into good business. Cena seems very good natured with that sort of thing, first with the "Cena sucks" tees and now this. Obviously, Cena is probably making money of the shirts anyway, but hey, some people wouldn't even let themselves be made fun of even for money.

Predicting a Moveset: Antonio Cesaro

2012-01-09T14:25:00.000-05:00

No hands needed for this to become a popular signature move

Antonio Cesaro has hit the big leagues, working dark matches at WWE house shows. If it's anything like the house show treatment Dean Ambrose got, it was basically a glorified squash match where Cesaro won't be getting a whole lot of offense in. Therefore, I wouldn't really expect to see much of a preview when it comes to what he'll be doing when he's in control of a match if those out there end up seeing him on the card.

As Claudio Castagnoli in the indies, he had a very rich moveset, combining classic big man moves with creative impact moves and a healthy does of European uppercuts. We all know that the difference between indie and WWE move pools are night and day, with the former being a lot more extensive than the latter. That being said, it'll be interesting to see which of his many moves will make it over into his more concise WWE offensive array. I'm going to go through his signature independent moves and give a read on which ones are most likely to end up in his arsenal, either as a finisher or a signature move.

Ricola Bomb - This was Cesaro's most famous finisher in the indies. It's a straitjacket powerbomb, named for one of his native land's most famous products (in true pro wrestling style). I'd say this move has a great chance to end up as his finisher in WWE as well because it's a twist on a relatively simple move that no one in the company currently does. Unless they REALLY dumb down his offense (which is possible, very possible), then I see this as even money to be his big finisher.

The Big Swing - If WWE aims to establish Cesaro as a monster, there'd be scant fewer moves to help him get over in that capacity than the Big Swing. The linked version shows him doing 100 rotations to Grizzly Redwood, but normally, he goes five or six. That all being said? The average wrestler size in WWE is larger than it is in the indies, which would make the move look more impressive, but would also make it more difficult to do as well as unfeasible in most scenarios against the Mark Henrys and Big Shows of the world. I see this as a special occasion thing or squash match fodder against smaller opponents at best.

Bicycle Kick - No chance at all. WWE doesn't like guys to share signature moves, and there's already one, tall, muscular foreigner using the bicycle kick. Unless Cesaro and Sheamus end up in a tag team where their finisher is kicks in stereo, there's no chance this move gets ported from the indies.

Swiss Death - The European uppercut is definitely making it to Cesaro's moveset, but will this pop-up version? I can see this as a great mid-match momentum shifter, either as a crowd-killer towards the beginning as a villain or as a great comeback counter as a babyface. I also wouldn't be too surprised if it didn't make the cut at all. Give it a 50/50 shot.

The Neutralizer - Towards the end of his PWG run, Cesaro broke out the stretch muffler he called the Neutralizer on a few occasions. It's a great big man submission hold, evidenced by Brock Lesnar adopting it for his own. It's for that reason why this move isn't making the jump. Lesnar is rumored to be interested in a WWE return, and I doubt they'd let "some new guy" co-opt his trademark submission. I doubt we'll see Cesaro do this much if at all.

UFO - This really could have the potential to be one of Cesaro's signature spots, the veritable crowd-popping move in his repertoire. Since WWE and the indies are a different animal, I'm not sure he could still use it as effectively as a bad guy in the bigs as he did in his old stomping grounds. That being said, I'm about as sure about this move being included, "no hands, ma!" and everything.

Alpamare Waterslide - I doubt this move will make it. It's not because it's difficult to pull off; quite conversely, it's an inverted Angle slam. WWE has guys using different variations, inversions or otherwise of the same move all the time, especially when they're easy to pull off. That being said, WWE isn't exactly innovative in how their big men perform offense. Look at how they treated mobile big men like Bam Bam Bigelow, Vader, The Big Show and basically everyone except Undertaker and Lesnar to a point. So, I'll be very surprised if this makes it into Cesaro's moveset.

Other Moves - It all depends on what their plans for him end up being. Will they try to nudge him into the typical WWE big guy role? If so, then I feel like we'll be seeing a lot of the standard big man offense to go with his staples like the European uppercut, Ricola Bomb and UFO. Stuff like the choke slam, big boot, power slam and other clubbing strikes will probably creep into his repertoire if this is the case. If they decide to let him do what he does best though, then I expect to see a lot of the same styles of matches that we saw in the indies as Claudio. While the signature moves won't all make it, the finesse working style and slick, graceful, smaller-wrestler-type tropes will. At this point though, I'll be shocked if he doesn't get forced to wrestle in more of a big guy style rather than all-rounder that indie fans know him best as.

Regardless though, WWE is getting a fantastic and versatile wrestler. Cesaro is a guy who can step in and have great matches with the Big Show, Mark Henry, Sheamus or Wade Barrett. WE already know he can have them with smaller guys, as he's been a giant in the land of the mere men for years now. Plus, familiar opponents like Seth Rollins, Daniel Bryan, CM Punk and Evan Bourne have already made it, making potential opponents as familiar as they are new. The verdict here is, no matter what moves Antonio Cesaro has in his repertoire in WWE, it won't be his in-ring game that'll be his undoing.

Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein - Please visit his site to view the plentiful amounts of pictures he's taken for DGUSA, ROH and other indie feds: Get Lost Photography

Future Endeavors 1/6 Power Poll: Chris Jericho Rulz

2012-01-09T08:50:00.000-05:00

WELCOME BACK! WELCOME BACK!
Photo Credit: WWE.com