Monday, January 14, 2013

Instant Feedback: Oh Rocky, Why Do You Hate Women?

I have to wonder, what did women do to Dwayne Johnson when he was a young boy? Did Lil Suzy Shortcakes bite his lip when they had their first kiss? Did a woman run over his dog? Did his mom teach him the Rock Bottom the hard way? These are things I need to know, because there's no reason why he should harbor so much angst and animosity towards the fairer sex. What's worse is that actual women in the audience were all acting like they had moist panties from Rocky despite the fact that he ran Paul Heyman down by basically calling him a woman and then running down Vickie Guerrero by insinuating that just because she isn't a "10" (whatever that means), that she's a smelly pirate hooker.

I hate that I have to keep harping on this, but the WWE's audience is 35% female, and judging by the fans I interact with, some of them are pretty hardcore. I'm pretty sure Danielle Matheson, who's smart and confident, doesn't appreciate Rock running down her gender as inferior. I'm not sure I would have her writing here if she had that kind of inferiority complex. It should be hammered home from the fact that Eve Torres quit the company tonight. Her character, during the RAW Active interview, gave a lot of valid reasons for her not needing to be around a company that mistreated her. I know it would be reading things into it if it were assumed she was shooting. Obviously, she wasn't, or else she wouldn't have gotten the mic time. But it's the fact that the narrative is so misogynist that I'm not it's healthy for anyone without an independent mind to watch.

It's a shame too, because up until the cage match between Dolph Ziggler and John Cena, the show had actually gone really, really well. Daniel Bryan, Kane, Damien Sandow, Cody Rhodes, and Dr. Shelby predictably knocked it out of the park in their pre-tape segment. Brodus Clay added depth to his character for the first time since he actually redebuted as the Funkasaurus. RED BELLY beat Randy Orton decisively clean with his finisher in the middle of the ring. Ric Flair and Antonio Cesaro got to tangle. Torres' last match was a feelgood moment preceded by the best match Kaitlyn had ever wrestled to that point. It was a fun show! It had heart! Even The Rock, when interacting with Mick Foley, showed some much-needed likability.

But then they do the same goddamn bullshit overbooking where John Cena walks away UNGODDAMNSCATHED from a match where Ziggler used everything but the kitchen sink to put him away. But whoopsie, one Attitude Adjustment, and Ziggler's dead. Does anyone in fucking Titan Towers see the asininity of that? Maybe they do, and the showrunners are the ones vetoing it, because HERPIN DERPIN JOHN CENA HAS TO BE KEPT STRONG AT ALL COSTS. Cena giving his shirt to the Downs girl in the front row was awesome and encapsulated everything about him that I love. But other than his tireless dedication to philanthropy, there is absolutely nothing redeeming about him in the fucking least.

But that's just a minor annoyance compared to Rocky absolutely shitting in the middle of the ring with his songs of feminine hate. We get it, bro, you don't get to crush all the vagina you like. No need to take it out on fans who don't want their gender belittled to the point of shame.