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| Evil clown? BRILLIANT Photo Credit: WWE.com |
1. Evil Doink
The evil clown gimmick was genius for its time, especially for a company marketed mostly to kids. The original Doink character was so creepy that it made me, as a kid viewing the show as a fan, very uncomfortable. Obviously, the endgame was going to turn him good because kids love a clown. However, WWF turned him too soon in my retroactive opinion. Even if they did let the character run its course, it's been what, 20 years now? It's high time to see another evil clown.
2. Crazy Old Hardcore Man Terry Funk
This isn't so much a gimmick as it is a character type, but it's certainly one that could work with the right guy. Funk, as my friend Dylan Hales likes to remind us, is probably the most versatile wrestler of all-time, and he always put everything into every character. Still, even if Funk put everything into the character he had, that doesn't mean he's the only one to play it. You could argue Steve Corino and Jimmy Jacobs are doing it right now in ROH, but in WWE, especially with the rash of gimmick matches and no DQ stips going on, someone like Corino or even Dustin Rhodes could come in and go HAM.
3. Yokozuna
Honestly, wrestling needs more fat guys. Well, let's put it differently. Wrestling needs more athletic fat guys. I'm tired of seeing hard bodies, skinny fat dudes, or cruiserweights running around. I'm even a bit tired of barrel chested hosses with just as much muscle as flab. The best road to go would be to do the sumo archetype like Yokozuna, only with less xenophobia and more "HOLY SHIT, this big fat guy just ran at me pretty fast I'm fucked." Plus, the Banzai Drop was a boss finisher, wasn't it?
4. The Dungeon of Doom
The Dungeon was a good idea in theory with legitimately crazy occultist Kevin Sullivan leading a coterie of brainwashed brutes to dominate a wrestling promotion. Obviously, it was a bit too hokey in its grotesqueness, but with a modern shine of it being a religious cult. I mean, if you put that gimmick in the backdrop of say, Heaven's Gate or whatever other cult that has been in the news more recently, it could be money.
5. Abe "Knuckleball" Schwartz
Okay, look, I know Schwartz was super hokey. Also, Chikara is doing a baseball character very well in Dasher Hatfield. That being said, the shine is doing a modern update, and baseball is in the news with all the steroid trials and such. It might be cutting it a bit too close to the WWE vest, but having a minor league baseball player character with the backstory of being thrown out of the league for violating the PED policy? Always having the cloud of Wellness following him? I think in the right hands, it could be a money gimmick (especially if there was a little bit of the insanity of Jose Canseco's twitter feed thrown in).
6. The Mean Street Posse
I am staunch in my desire to see the original MSP enter into Chikara's King of Trios tournament. That being said, maybe it would be time for rich guys getting into wrestling for sport and maybe being a bit over their heads, but also maybe getting a bit more of a boost in the credibility department? I don't know, the way WWE operates on a social level, they'd try to make the group babyfaces because being rich is cool and being poor is yucky! But then again, if played right, that gimmick could be the canvas for a master heel to become the best pricks in wrestling history.
