Monday, February 25, 2013

ACW An Absence Of Law '13 - Results, Recap

Photo Credit: Brandon Stroud
This is the one where everything changes.

Well, I mean, I guess that was the last show.  The idea of "Anarchy" is that it never stays the same.  The roster I got familiar with when I first moved to Austin isn't the same roster I felt so attached to in January.  Guilty By Association was the closing of a big ACW chapter ... no more Jerry Lynn, no more Rachel Summerlyn.  Between that show and this one, Ring Of Honor officially announced that they'd signed ACH.  There's no ACW show in March.  Shows are only announced up until Queen of Queens in June.

This is the short version: I miss Rachel and Jerry Lynn was great, but I think Anarchy will be okay.

Pre-show Match: J.C. Bravo defeated Johnny Axxle. Hey look, it's our first roster shift of the night, the returning Johnny Axxle.  If you've never seen Axxle before, he's a SUPER average looking guy in a ladies tank top who gets heat because his last name sounds like "asshole."  This was pretty bad, and I've always wondered why ACW makes the pre-show matches so bad if they're the only ones going on the Internet.  That was addressed x 10000 two matches later, but the hardest part of bringing new people to ACW shows is the "don't pay attention to this pre-show, the actual show is way better."

Pre-show Match for the Anarchy Televised Title: Athena (c) defeated Machiko. Total squash, as it should've been.  Athena is ready to take the next step in her career (wherever that is ... hopefully TNA figures out that they should just sign good wrestlers instead of making a bunch of game show contests, but whatever).  Machiko is ... trying.

Pre-show Match, Believe It Or Not: ACH defeated Ricky Starks. I had no idea they were doing this on the pre-show, and thank God I'll finally be able to point to an ACW match on YouTube and say "THIS is why you should love ACH."  And Ricky Starks, for that matter.  A solid, back-and-forth affair that saw ACH get the win with a Tiger Driver without it going too far and being too much.  Starks is one of those guys I'm looking forward to getting into in the next year of ACW, especially if Kyle Hawk keeps hanging around being funny on the outside.

After the match, ACH finally gave his "I'm probably not going to be a regular anymore, guys" speech.  He'll be at the April show (woo!) and hopefully will find the time to be around a lot more after that.  I know Holzerman's written about it pretty exhaustively here, but I'm so unbelievably proud of ACH, and I can't wait to see ROH crowds take to him like ACW crowds did and make him a bigger star.  I also can't wait until WWE finally notices him, and we can get that Chris Hero/ACH match under newly-assumed names in NXT, or on Main Event, or wherever.

Actual Show!

Ricky Starks and Kyle Hawk beat Jack Jameson and Ricky Romida. Yep, Ricky Starks pulled immediate double-duty (after having a 15 minute match with ACH!) and got a lot of love for it.  Kyle Hawk continues to win us over by doing wacky shit like having tomahawks (real, actual tomahawks) hidden in his boots.  I very much want the Jameson/Romida team to find a way to play up their personalities in a bigger role on the show, because they are super easy to cheer.

U-30 Title Match: Bolt Brady (c) defeated Jeff Gant. Let me start by saying this: Bolt Brady is good.  Very, very good.  If you've heard me hype National Pro Wrestling Day or if you've read one of these ACW reports before, you know that almost every match Bolt has it rad.  That said, if you are ACW and consider yourself one of the (or THE) top independent promotions in the country, there is no fucking reason for Jeff Gant to be on your show.  He's a 4'10 former referee in burgundy pants that say "JEFF" on the ass, he's got a concave chest, and sure, he can do a bunch of hurricanranas, but so can 70% of backyarders.  Bolt should have beaten this dude in 30 seconds.  Making legitimately talented guys like Bolt or Matt Palmer sell for Jeff is embarrassing.

Anarchy Televised Title Match: Athena (c) defeated Thomas Shire. This might've secretly been the match of the night.  Thomas Shire continues his streak of being the unexpectedly best part of an ACW show, using his strength and nefarious co-horts at ringside in all the right ways en route to an O-Face and a loss to the dominant TV champ.  He also does a wonderful thing where he stands on the top rope as he's being announced, then jumps and lands in the middle of the ring, causing everyone else in The Business to collapse or bounce around.  It's glorious.  As previously mentioned, in case you haven't heard it from everyone you know who's seen her, Athena is money.

J.C. Bravo and Stan 'Da Sinna' Summers defeated The Bad Boys (Lil' Tony and Chavez).  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.  BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

One of the weird thing about Lil' Tony when he first showed up in ACW is that his pants said "BAD BOYS," but he was the only one.  I've been going to shows at Tony's home promotion (Central Texas Pro Wrestling) and FINALLY got to see his tag team partner, Chavez Tuco.  This was Chavez's ACW debut, and man, I am getting progressively less and less able to handle Bad Boys losses.  I guess all I can do is cheer the shit out of him until he starts winning ... although that didn't work for my Pierre Abernathy fandom, either.

I think ACW is onto me.  Maybe if I STOP cheering Lil' Tony he'll win, and then I can be happy, but only in secret?  Wrestling is weird.

Barrett Brown defeated Gary Jay. Notable: Gary Jay had new entrance music: 'Thrift Shop' by Macklemore. It doesn't fit him, isn't appropriate aside from the fact that he wears a windbreaker from 30 years ago as his ring jacket and forces him to kinda dance around while he's making his SUPER HEEL entrance, but ... yeah, Gary Jay can make anything work in ACW.  These guys beat the mess out of each other (with Gary's ridiculous chops turning him face with a big portion of the crowd), but Brown (who is way, way, way too good to be 19 goddamn years old) got the win with a Swanton.  One thing I love about Barrett is how a lot of his moves involve him jumping on you, but he always lands on you with his weight.  He never just grazes you with his head and expects the crowd to accept it.  Good match.

The Takeover (Jaykus Plisken, James Claxton and Carson) defeated Darin Childs, Matthew Palmer and ACH.  Two good things happened here:

1. The Takeover didn't talk

2. The Takeover actually got a win over some legit ACW guys, making them look more like a competent threat than they have in the last like, two-plus years I've been watching them.

This wasn't the best -- ACH and Palmer were stuck on the apron for most of it, and as good as Carson's gotten, the Takeover is still the Takeover -- but it was progress.  I'll take it.

ACW Heavyweight Title Match: Evan Gelistico (c) and 'Showtime' Scot Summers fought to a No Contest.  The "no contest" comes from Gelistico fleeing the building.  At one point during the match Summers tossed Evan into the wall and Evan went THROUGH it, which hopefully did not lead to a sternly-worded YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO WRESTLE IN THE MOHAWK AGAIN e-mail this morning.  Scot Summers has started wearing pink trunks, which totally works because he makes it look tough, but man, the drunk, casual fans who stumble in cannot handle it.  There's one super drunk, stupid guy who always shows up (the guy who yells things like HIT EM WITH YER COOTER or whatever during womens matches) who yelled C'MAWN PINK SHORTSSS for like 10 minutes.  Scot Summers, if you're reading this, please find that dude at the next show and put the fear of God in him.

American Joshi Title Match: Jessica James (c) defeated Barbi Hayden.  I don't remember a lot of this because Barbi was having trouble keeping her boob in her shirt, and the aforementioned drunk guy would not stop yammering about it.  He also took about 40,000 pictures, because of course he did.  Jessica got the win I guess serves as the ersatz Rachel in Rachel's absence.  Her hair is also ridiculously out of control.  She's still got the Lady Poison yarn hair, but she's also got a beehive, and if she adds any more accessories her hair will be bigger than her.

Tag Team Championship Match: The Business (Jojo Bravo and Angel Blue) defeated Colt Cabana and Pierre Abernathy.  Before the match, birthday boy Jojo Bravo announced that even though Colt and Pierre like to have fun in the ring, after the match he would be forever known as the KING OF CUT-UPS.   Jojo got a sustained, great response from the crowd, as did Pierre and Colt, which led to an "everyone but Angel" chant.  Eh, she deserves it.

Highlight of the match: Thomas Shire interfering by doing his "jump off the top rope and make everybody bounce and fall down" entrance, causing Jojo to bounce in the air and drop an elbow on his opponent.  That is high concept, and I love it so much.

Lowlight of the match: Colt Cabana is funny, yeah, but most of his interaction with Angel Blue was LET'S GET INTO POSITIONS WHERE IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE HAVING SEX, and that is not my bag.  At one point he was just grabbing her boobs for fun.  I had a conversation with somebody in the crowd about the differences between Colt/Angel and like, Kikutaro/KANA, and I think the best answer I had was "American audiences are cheering for the guy's perverted actions, not laughing AT him for BEING a pervert."  It was harmless, and they lost, so whatever.  If Colt had pulled that with Portia or somebody I would've flipped the ring with my bare hands.

Main Event: Jimmy Jacobs defeated Davey Vega.  If you like crazy back-and-forth "throw everything at each other" wrestling matches, this one's for you.  It was like the best possible Davey Richards match.  They spent a few minutes doing some spectacular counter wrestling with Jimmy's guillotine choke, and eventually Jimmy got the win with a shiranui off the top rope, using the roof of the Mohawk stage to propel himself over.  The best Jacobs match I've seen live, and one of about 75 awesome Davey Vega matches we've had at the Mohawk.  Davey Vega is the next guy you should just accept as an ace on the indy scene.

After the match, Jimmy put Vega over as being as good as anybody he's faced (including Eddie Guerrero, CM Punk and Bryan Danielson) before kicking him in the dick and taking it all back.  That led to JT Lamotta running out and running Jimmy off, ending the show posing on the upper level railing.

Overall: Like I said, I think ACW will be fine.  They've still got so much to get me in the door (The Business is amazing, Matthew Palmer and the Submission Squad are THE most underrated guys on the indies, ACH will still be around from time to time, and so on) and they've kinda got my heart forever no matter what, so that corner's always going to be occupied with my nerdy, shouty ass.  The stuff I'll miss I'll miss a lot, but I guess that's what road trips to watch wrestling in other places is for.  And Central Texas Pro Wrestling.  It's good to try a little of everything.

A great night filled with tons and tons of great wrestling.  That's all I could ask for.  I'll see you in May, ACW, because you scheduled a show during WrestleMania and arghhhh stop doing that.