Thursday, June 21, 2018

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 240

"And on guitar, Sleazy Kyle!"
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

It all depends on what style of music you like better. Are you more a fan of hair metal, with the (possibly high on cocaine) guitar player with wide eyes, jamming out like the guitar is an extension of his penis with a fishing pole attached looking to land a hottie in the front row? Or do you like blues-rock, where the guitarist is looking down at his instrument out of habit from his depression (possibly drunk or high on heroin), but smiling because the music is the one thing that makes him happy in his life? If you like the former, Tanahashi's your man. If it's the latter, it's all Sleazy Kyle. Personally, I'm more a blues-rock guy, so O'Reilly is my choice all the way.

Oh, you certainly are. Michaels may even tell you himself that he was a shithead before he kicked the drugs, and the Vader program was probably right at the peak of his high, before the injuries and the Bret Hart-induced mutual paranoia and stuff took him down. Big oaf from "down there" came up and wants to work with the fancy Northerners? Oh, HBK probably had a thing or two to say about that. Vader jumped at the wrong time. Hell, you could say Vader came up at absolutely the wrong time, because World Championship Wrestling, though critically acclaimed, wasn't lighting the world on fire with him on top, which isn't necessarily his fault, but a symptom of the business at the time. If he'd eschewed the NFL altogether and went into wrestling, he definitely could have been a touring NWA Champion or a Mania headliner against Hulk Hogan. Sometimes, fate is just cruel in that regard.

I'm going to try to keep this as realistic as possible, so no one currently signed to Ring of Honor or STARDOM or the like.

Returnees from Last Year: Toni Storm, Bianca Belair, Lacey "Would Like to Speak to a Manager" Evans, Kairi Sane, Dakota Kai, Candice LeRae, Mercedes Martinez, Piper Niven, Rhea Ripley, Taynara Conti, Xia Li, Kay Lee Ray, Jazzy Gabert

Performance Center Bodies: Kacy Catanzaro (Basically, she's turned some heads down on the Florida loop already, so she's the only person that didn't run from last year without prior experience that I'd like to see come on over for the festivities), Deonna Purrazzo

North American Indies: Nicole Matthews, Samantha Heights, Hudson Envy, Oceanea (let's get weird), Jordynne Grace, LuFisto

European Indies: Jinny Couture, Saraya Knight

Japan: Meiko Satomura, Io Shirai, Aja Kong, Mayumi Ozaki

Australia: Madison Eagles

Honored Alumnae: Jazz, Eve Torres, Molly Holly, Beth Phoenix

Of course, I doubt the MYC is going to look exactly like that. I'm sure folks like Kavita Devi or Vanessa Borne will be back, and maybe other Performance Center bodies will be in like Shadia Bseiso. Perhaps the indie influx will be different, and more European folks will be in. But given the parameters, I'd pick that 32.

I hate to frame it like this, but since WWE has two major World-level titles again, the pick is under. WWE has given Black wrestlers the rub when it didn't have to give one of them the "only" top title, which shows the company's hella-levels of racism. Even if it only had one, Paul Levesque and Stephanie McMahon are into being woke and having firsts, so in some way, they'd find a way to put the strap on Big E or Xavier Woods or whomever eventually. I know it's not easy being a Black fan of WWE, past, present, or future. I can't feel that at all, but maybe things will look up as Vince McMahon gets older and more preoccupied with a legacy outside of wrestling. Or maybe the revolution will come and wrestling will globalize and the people in charge will truly select top talent based on skill level. The hope is always there!

This question is where I show my ass and tell you that it's been a long, long time since I've seen a full Vader match. I know, I'm a terrible wrestling fan, especially one who loves the HOSS like I do, and of course, I was more a WWE kid growing up, so I missed PEAK VADER. Most of my Vader exposure of late has come from gifs and clips. But I will say do I recall liking his superviolent brawls with Cactus Jack. Go check them out. Hell, go check all the Vader out you can. I know I probably should.

I outlined the field above that I'd most like, but among them, the ones I'd probably want the most are the noted alumnae. The Women's Royal Rumble showed that most of them not named Kelly Kelly could still go, and Kelly Kelly, well, she was bad but she at least put her whole ass into trying and failing, which is all you can ask for. I mean, all four of the above would be so cool, but Jazz would provide such a mean element to the tournament that no one else could add. Let her advance a round and put over Mercedes Martinez in a quarterfinal match that would rival the stiffest, most intense brawls you'd see in any company.

I wouldn't be shocked if Levesque didn't try to run both himself, at least from the start. He could tailor the taping schedule so that the Florida/American tapings were on different weeks than the English ones. In due time though, especially after he ends up launching NXT Middle East, NXT Asia, NXT Mexico, and NXT Crab Nebula, he'd probably name successors/consiglieres. For NXT UK, my guess is it would either be William Regal or Robbie Brookside. They're already confidants of his over here, so they'd make sense since they'd know his vision and have their own way of viewing the homeland.
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