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| MDK MOTHERFUCKERS Photo Credit: Burning Hammer Photography |
1. Nick Gage (Last Week: Not Ranked) - So he didn't regain the Game Changer World Championship this past weekend. To be fair, Rickey Shane Page had to use everything but a Donald Trump executive order to abscond with the title. Then again, the way Trump treated the host city of Atlantic City, I'm not sure that would've been useful. Anyway, Gage can now turn his attention to more pressing matters, like how he can prevent Daniel Makabe from twisting him into a pretzel at WrestleVania Mania weekend. Knowing The King, he'll probably just put a few staples in his forehead and call it a day. That's what I'd do if I were the most ultraviolent wrestler in the country.
2. Maki Itoh (Last Week: 2) - I don't wanna die, so yes.
3. Orange Cassidy (Last Week: 4) - Well, sure.
4. Chima Brazilian Steakhouse (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Look, you all know how much I love this place, and now my son loves it too. It's always good when you and a child can bond over meat on swords.
5. Troodon (Last Week: Not Ranked) - We, as a family, saw Jurassic World Live this past weekend, and did you know that the Troodon was the smartest of the dinosaurs? I bet even that creature could get that you don't have to dupe fans into thinking wrestling is real for it to be valid, which is a point he has over another dinosaur, Jim Cornette.
6. Kevin Parker (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Tame Impala, which is basically Kevin Parker and touring members, released its fourth album Friday, and hoo boy, it might be their best one, or at least the best one since Lonerism. While 2017's Currents saw the sea change from psychedelic rock diving headlong into synths and shit, The Slow Rush, at least after three listens, feels like he found a groove. You gotta listen to it.
7. Bernie Sanders (Last Week: 7) - Sanders won in New Hampshire, giving him a second state where he won the popular vote by considerable margin. While Pete Buttigieg has closed in on him with delegates, I expect him to, no pun intended, peter off when the states with actual Black populations start to vote. At this point, it's Joe Biden and despicable billionaire racist Michael Bloomberg who are Sanders' primary competition. It's not gonna be easy with the connection to Barack Obama with the former and the gobs and gobs of money and manipulation with the latter, but I believe Sanders and his diverse coalition can win and then go on to defeat Trump.
8. Kawhi Leonard (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Leonard led all scorers in the NBA All-Star Game last night, leading Team LeBron over Team Giannis. It's funny that Leonard helped James here because as they go down the stretch, his Clippers will give James' Lakers all they can handle. Should be an exciting stretch in the regular season.
9. Nyla Rose (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Rose made history by dethroning Riho and becoming the second-ever All Elite Wrestling Women's Champion and first trans wrestler to win a title in any major televised promotion. Don't pay any mind to the transphobes speaking out about her. The critiques would even be baseless if wrestling were a shoot. Personally, I'm glad she's the Champion now. Monster heels are the best fodder for title chases anyway.
10. Tony Schiavone (Last Week: 10) - Well wrestling fans, we're in the home stretch for Revolution, and this week, Cody will take on Wardlow in the first ever steel cage match in AEW history. Why should Cody fear Wardlow? Well, he's got a giant ho... well wrestling fans, we're out of time this week. Tune in next week for the Best in the World Rankings!
