Friday, October 26, 2018

Leaving the Territory

Nothing is as good as wrestling at its peak, and that's why I was able to write this blog for so long
Photo Credit: WWE.com
A little under ten years ago, I set out to write about professional wrestling. At that time, I didn't know how long that endeavor would last, but I knew a few things. One, wrestling is a tremendous thing that straddled the line between art and sport. Two, Triple H sucks. Three, I thought I was good at writing and thus would be fine writing about this thing I liked a lot in my spare time. Over that time period — just under ten years, a few hundred under 10,000 unique posts — nothing really dissuaded me from the first two points. The third point, well, that's up for debate. Maybe I'm good at writing. Maybe I'm just good at creating sentences and don't have great ideas. I have no idea. I'm not sure that matters.

NXT In 60 Seconds

Johnny, no
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Master Regal, "Earlier Today": Aleister Black IS going to show up.  Make sure to send him my way before anything else happens.  I'm counting on you, cannon fod... uh, four randos in black shirts.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

(last week's) NXT In 60 Seconds

Belly up to the window and place your bets, folks
Photo Credit: WWE.com
If you'd like to donate to the Laptop Rehabilitation Fund, find butchrosser on Venmo or Ko-fi

War Raiders: come out to a decent pop
the Undisputed Era: come out to a bigger one
Roderick Strong: mocks the WR hand taunt
Kyle O'Reilly: gets his air guitar on
War Raiders: use their power to dominate early
Full Sailors: War!  War!  War!  War!
the Era: regroup and try it again
Roddy: ends up getting thrown/slammed into Kyle
Full Sailors: chant War! louder
Roddy: chop blocks Rowe from the outside
Kyle: focuses on the leg he was trying to work on earlier, only to success this time 
the Era: utilize quick tags and leg work to wear Rowe down
Rowe: Desperation STO!
Tags: made
Hanson: puts those meesters on their keisters You okay?
Rowe: (shaking off the leg) Good enough.
Hanson: tags
Rowe: Busiaku knee!
War Raiders: Assisted oshigoroshi!
Rowe: Sitout powerbomb!
Kyle: Buzzsaw kick save!

Monday, October 15, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Her performance matched the date it aired (Photo Credit: WWE.com)
#14: comes out talking to the belt, kissing his nameplate a couple of times
Full Sailors: BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#14: The Greatest Sports Entertainer of All Time now has the greatest entrance music of all time!  laughs And the best part, the icing on the cake?  It has silenced the sheep!
Full Sailors: again, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#14: But in every flock there is always one who tries to break away from the pack, one who craves attention...one who needs to be different: Velveteen Dream.

Monday, October 8, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Nothing accidental about this main event W
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Nikki Cross: Games are fun!  Especially games you can play with other people. BIIIIIIAAAANCAAAA!  We had fun last time didn't we?  And now, we get to play again!  I hope you're not too afraid because we didn't behave last time.   giggles We weren't on our best behaviour!  Speaking of bad behaviour I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW I KNOWWWWW laughs, seethes

Monday, October 1, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

The darkest timeline continues apace (Photo Credit: WWE.com)
Our Esteemed General Manager: comes out
Full Sailors: Regal!  Regal! Regal!
Master Regal: I've been investigating the attack on Aleister Black for a month, and
the Undisputed Era: interrupt him brazenly
Master Regal: gives a small, winsome, nostalgic smile
Some Guy: It's the same thing week after week: you don't do your job and pretend to be Sherlock Holmes.  You should be spending time making sure these kinds of unprovoked attacks don't happen again.  Like the War Raiders!

Friday, September 21, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

You know what time it is
Photo Credit: Total Divas Eps Twitter
"TONIGHT": "The biggest match in NXT history — champion v. champion — all the components for an instant classic."

Thursday, September 20, 2018

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 251

Should you eat at Friday's abroad?
Photo via the Tennessean
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

I don't know if I'd call it "silly" at all. It might be a matter of practicality. The fact that you're even asking the question makes me think you think critically about what you eat, which is a very good trait to have. Anthony Bourdain was popular because he lived a life that someone who thinks critically about food wanted to live. He would eschew the Americanized haunts abroad and dig for the local stuff, sometimes to levels that aren't really afforded to people who don't have his connections, wherewithal, or later on, his funds, especially for a "fixer" as he'd have in some places. The level of ironic silliness one might feel partaking in a chain restaurant on the other side of the world depends on the level of comfort they have with the culture which they are visiting. If you're new to Taipei and don't know the lay of the land or which places accommodate English-speakers, then I'd say eating at Friday's isn't silly at all. It's necessary. But if you've been there a few times, know some people, know where the English-friendly places (or even know a little Mandarin/Taiwanese Hakka), then it might be silly. Is it good or bad silly? Honestly, you're still putting money towards the employ of local people, and your tips go to Taiwanese servers, right? It's probably not ideal, but hey, no one said you gotta live by a code all the time.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

You Can't Gatekeep a Journalist, or CMLL Ain't an Indie

Puma King made waves for two different reasons, the latter that wasn't his fault
Photo Credit: MT
Puma King made some waves this weekend at the Battle of Los Angeles. The former star of Consejo Mundial de Lucha Libre (he very recently became a freelancer working a few dates in AAA) made his second big excursion north of the Rio Grande this year for the huge tournament. His first trip up to the States was well-received; he took on Ophidian and Jonathan Gresham for Chikara and Beyond Wrestling respectively at a doubleheader at the Wrestle Factory. He was impressive then against both opponents, so it's easy to see how he'd wow the crowd at the Globe Theater in a far more high-stakes environment. Obviously, many people in the crowd were not familiar with the luchador. Even if CMLL is one of the most well-known lucha promotions in Mexico, Puma King isn't, say, Rush, Barbaro Cavernario, Dragon Lee, or obviously LA Park. Many people got their first doses of him, and they might have had questions as to where they could see him.

Monday, September 17, 2018

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 17, 2018

HE'S BACK, BAYBAY
Photo Credit: Jon SooWoo/UPI
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Carson Wentz (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - After the Eagles loss to the Buccaneers yesterday, the team needed some good news, and they got it. Carson Wentz is starting Sunday! Hallelujah! After missing nine months with a shredded knee, he comes back in hopes of leading a repeat. While I fully believe the team would've won the Super Bowl with him at quarterback had he been healthy, it'll be nice to see him be able to try and make the hypothetical become corporeal.

2. Jeff Cobb (Last Poll: Not Ranked) - The big beefy boi won himself the Battle of Los Angeles in perhaps the most interesting and loaded field ever, taking out Shingo Takagi and Bandido in the finals. I wonder if he celebrated by going to Disneyland? I mean, it's right there. IT'S RIGHT THERE, MAN.

3. Kagetsu (Last Poll: 3) - In the driver's seat for the 5Star Grand Prix and on the cusp of world domination? Of COURSE that's the perfect time for the Prime Minister of the Glorious People's Republic of STARDOM to get stabbed in the back. I never trusted Hana Kimura, and neither should have you. Regardless, Kagetsu remains focused on taking down the world order and restoring it with pure Joshi power while making sure the traitorous Kimura hangs for her crimes.

NXT In 60 Seconds

Melanin Monroe's first main event
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Cameraman: Tommaso! Tommaso? What brings you back to Full Sail? Any comment on the Black attack?
#14: marches in commentless

Friday, September 7, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

Dream's mind games paid off big in the main event
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Old Man Hero: comes out grumpy but focused
Kona Reeves: is neither of those things This is going to be a beating, old man.
Ohno: It sure is. Cravate! RIGHT HAND!
Kona: wait uh
Ohno: Kneedrop! Rolling elbow!
Referee: Winner!
Ohno: When I came back to NXT, there was so much buzz until, well, there wasn't. I became an afterthought and it used to tear me up trying to figure it out, but now I get it: there's always going to be someone new, someone fresh, and whoever the next guy with buzz is? Hey, I ain't going anywhere.
Full Sailors: Huzzah!
Ohno: I'll be right here, the first to welcome them and to knock them to the back of the line.

Thursday, September 6, 2018

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 250

FEED. ME. MORE. (cheeseburgers)
Photo Credit: TH
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, and wait for the call on Wednesday to ask your questions. Hash-tag your questions #TweetBag, and look for the bag to drop Thursday afternoon (most of the time). Without further ado, here are your questions and my answers:

Personally, I would go for 1/2 pound burgers when I myself are making them. I like 'em thicc. If my jaw doesn't get tired from chewing them, I don't want them. Of course, that's not entirely true. I will eat any cheeseburger at any time. I am the 24/7 Hardcore Champion of cheeseburger eating. It's just when I'm making them for myself, I go big (and go home too since I am almost always at home).

Tuesday, September 4, 2018

The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings for September 4, 2018

Salute all those who work
Photo via The Builders' Association Site
Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. The Proletariat (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I meant to post this yesterday, which would have made the top ranking make a little more sense. Labor Day celebrates the working human (no matter how much jingoistic fuckers want to tell you otherwise). That being said, people barely recognize the proletariat on Labor Day anymore. Again, the Right tries to make it yet another holiday to celebrate The Troopz™ like they do with every other non-religious holiday (although coming soon to a Nativity scene near you, American soldiers guarding the manger with AR-15s, at least that's my bet). Yesterday, the plot got even more knocked off its axis when Nike decided to unveil Colin Kaepernick as one of its new spokespeople, setting conservative Twitter aflame, literally, over the blatant DISRESPECT shown to The Troopz™. Not that I want to get into the quagmire of Kaepernick's protest (even though I have a clear stance, one that agrees with him), mainly because it muddles the real message of Labor Day.

That message is that the working people of the world need to be appreciated and celebrated, because that pretty much encapsulates everyone who isn't some trust fund dipshit or robber baron in the one percent. The amount of working class folks who side with the right on issues of labor is embarrassing, and it's not necessarily their fault. They are promised the American dream of getting rich, so any assault on the rich is an assault on their future selves, selves they were sold at ripoff prices for how unrealistic they are. It's brainwashing, and these people end up believing lies so that the insulated rich get to break their unions, steal their wages, and withhold their benefits without so much as a slap on the wrist.

Friday, August 31, 2018

NXT In 60 Seconds

A Last Shot of success before a declaration of War
Photo Credit: WWE.com
Last week on the Leftovers, Bianca beat Deanna and Dunne beat Zack Gibson again

Master Regal, "Earlier Today" Outside His Office: Cathy, I can confirm that tonight I'm starting the Black investigation.

Announce: speculates about the Black investigation
A Man With No Music But With A Crutch's Assistance: comes out
Full Sailors: Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap Johnny Wrestling!  clap clap clapclapclap