I made a post awhile back on A1 called "The RAW Sorting Bin" which turned into an exercise for the other two brands as well. Now that I'm more worldly now with my wrestling knowledge, and since things have changed since the first time I did this, I'll post the updated list in parts on here. A few things first. I'm doing this over a period of a few days so as not to have a humongous post on here. Two, if you don't see a whole lot of TNA guys on here, it's because I've been off and on with them (mostly off), and when I do turn in, no one outside of the guys I mention here are featured prominently enough or make an impression enough to make me want to remember them. There are five categories:
Unequivocal Hatred - Yeah, either they don't entertain me at all in the least, or I have an issue with them that overrides anything I may find entertaining at all.
Annoyed with, but Can Ultimately Tolerate and Somewhat Enjoy - Honestly, I couldn't care any less if I ever saw them again, but they don't invoke the all-encompassing hatred that the other guys do.
Like, but Don't Love - I don't actively hate them, and they make me mark out at times, but when it comes down to it, there are guys that I'll mark for ahead of them all the time.
My Favorites - Quite simply put, the category says it all.
Your Lords and Saviors - Reserved for the most favorite of my favorites. Five people all-time have ever reached this level. Two of them are active. Can you guess which two? Hint, you can find the answer before I post this in a few days in the FtA from last night...
Okay, without further ado:
Unequivocal Hatred
Triple H - I have a tag that's reserved for his wrath, and I chance to say it's my most overused one. Do I have to explain this? :p
Batista - He only has one freaking expression, the one that harkens back to the old Adam Sandler "Hey, I'm crazy such-and-such head! I've got a such-and-such on my head! Gimme some candy!" character. He blows up too easily in the ring, and his vendetta against the English language is only amusing for car wreck purposes. Someone please put him out to pasture.
WWE Creative - Harf harf they're uncreative!!!1
Okay, now that that's out of the way, my biggest problems with them are twofold. One, they do not know how to properly book a feud anymore. This is ironclad for RAW and while both Smackdown and ECDub are better booked, they still have their WTF moments, like Shelton Benjamin getting jobbed out to a Japanese newb in seconds. Second is their inability to to take an existing character and do anything with it just because it wasn't cultivated in the WWE. You'd think someone would have the huevos to stand up to Vince McMahon and say "Look, Colt Cabana is a pretty entertaining, established indie character. Why not introduce him as such and let him do his thing? Those who recognize him will get the ball rolling and maybe the rest of the fans will pick up." It happened before. CM Punk was allowed to keep his hame, his gimmick, his character, and look where he is now.
It seems they can only get someone over anymore if the packaging is gift-wrapped for them (see: Dynasty, Hart). If not, you get stuff like Kizarny or Scott Goldman.
Alicia Fox - I'm still not ready to forgive her for being a c-word to Joey Styles at the Slammy RAW back in December.
The Great Khali - I was fine with him until I saw how lazy he was in one of his many matches with Dolph Ziggler. Mark Henry isn't lazy and he's a big man. The Big Show is only lazy 25 percent of the time and he's a big man. DON'T FUCKING BE LAZY! Plus his face character is blaaaaaand.
Michael Cole - I've seen the light of hate, and it's made me see how fucking useless this guy is. I swear, if I hear him say "controlled frenzy" when describing Kofi Kingston again, I will hunt him down and make him listen to himself on loop.
Josh Matthews - While we're on the subject of announcers... well, I was ready to give him the benefit of hte doubt, but he's just so bad at his job. You can tell Matt Striker is floundering trying to carry the ECW broadcast, but as a color guy, there's only so much he should do. The state of announcing is pretty bad across the board. When the best active PBP guy in any company out there is the color commentator in the booth with the second best PBP guy (and only an adequate one at best), there's something wrong. (and if you didn't know, I was talking about JR and Todd Grisham, respectively)
Michelle McCool - Can anyone give me a reason why I have to look at this ugly bitch when I turn on Smackdown other than the fact that she was banging 'Taker at some point?
The Briscoes - Oooh wow, we're so cool, we appeal to the rednecks out there with our ugly, toothless mugs and Stars 'n Bars shorts, despite the fact we're from Delaware and have our parents drive us to the arena for all our shows! Fuck these guys. Seriously.
Brent Albright - When you're in a match with Claudio Castignioli, Colt Cabana and Jimmy Rave and you still can't look good, something's wrong.
Mike Tenay, Don West and "JB" - Is there any announce crew that has a worse feel for how a wrestling show should be called and put over than these three blowhards?
Jeff Jarrett - At least Triple H is a good wrestler and has done entertaining comedy work. What has Jarrett done to prove himself in the main event besides hitting everyone over the head with a guitar and get his daddy to start a wrestling promotion for him so he could glorify himself? Watching him try to "win" TNA back from the Main Event Mafia was so bad that I was rooting for a meteor to hit the Impact Zone and spare only Kurt Angle, AJ Styles and knock that silly penis tattoo off Samoa Joe's face. He's the most entitled but least deserving figure in wrestling history with the exception of one Greg Gagne.
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