TWIOT: iPhones *hmph*

Warning, I'm about to get real curmudgeony all up in this piece.

Today, Apple is releasing their new upgraded iPhone. Since the turn of this century, Steve Jobs has done a remarkable job in not only competing with the computing juggernaut Microsoft, but also in PR. Apple right now is probably setting records for the longest time on top of the trendiness heap. I mean, fads come and go, but hipsters and even regular folk alike have loved them some Mac products and anything with a lowercase i in front of it for the better part of a decade. It takes a certain amount of skill to build that kind of a brand, and to be honest, it's warranted. Getting an iPod is on the top of my want-list (too bad I'll probably have to wait 'til Christmas to get it). I love iTunes. My time working for Drexel University's school newspaper, the Triangle, saw me working exclusively with Macs, and you know what? I loved every minute of it, mainly because of how good the computers were.

However, my home computer is a PC, and I'm completely fine with that. PCs have made huge strides over the years, and hey, they're more affordable. I see Apple computers as luxury products. They're nicer and run better than Microsoft products, but I got a shit-ton of other bills I have to worry about. I'll take the more inexpensive PC model. I may be in the silent majority when it comes to my admiration of Apple but tolerance for other products but good Lord, that vocal minority makes every Mac devotee look like a lobotomized zombie in the service of their lord and savior, Saint Steven Jobs of Washington State. This is no more personified and even stereotyped in the hype for this new iPhone.

Like nearly everyone in America, I have cell phone. Unlike nearly everyone in America though, my phone is far from smart. I have a shitty little Motorola model, and I find it useful. It can send and receive calls and texts, and I can check Facebook on it. That's all I really need. Maybe that's why I don't particularly *get* why there's so much of a craze over the iPhone. It could be because I don't have or have never owned a smart phone, and that I'd rather pay money to eat at a good restaurant every once in awhile, buy wrestling DVDs and tickets (Got my ticket for Chikarasaurus Rex on Monday! YEAH BOYEEEE), purchase new music or, God forbid, do something nice for my wife rather than buy the latest smart phone gadget and pay out my rectum for the data plans every month.

But still, even if I did have a smart phone, be it the iPhone, the Android, the Blackberry or whatever else is out there, I'd probably still find the level of fanaticism that these devotees seem to have a bit excessive. I mean, I've heard reports of people waiting in lines outside Apple Stores 1,500 people thick just to get a chance at buying something they could probably get for at least $50 cheaper in a few months? I mean, that's redonkulous. Or maybe not, seeing that we live in a country where status seems to be everything. Then again, waiting in any line for anything short of an American Idol tryout or some other once-a-year/once-in-a-lifetime event seems idiotic to me. Like, do these possibly pedophiliac cougars need to be first in line to purchase your tickets to the newest Twilight movie. I think not.

And the thing is, everyone who's lining up like rabid dogs at Jobs' siren call are lining up to buy a product that is going to become obsolete in about a year or two anyway. I mean, every year they come out with an upgrade or a new model or some other bell and/or whistle to stick onto the existing one. Again, I'm sure the sensible, silent majority isn't a part of the mob, or if they are, it's because they're due for an upgrade after they dropped their phone in the toilet or are just due for a new phone after two years of service time on their prior phone. It's these tech-lusty drones, those who worship at Steve Jobs' altar, they're the ones that give everyone who enjoys a Mac product a bad name.

Maybe I'm an old 28. Maybe I'm just being contrarian. Who knows, maybe I'm like the homophobic Republican Senator who decries "them dang queers" til his face turns red and then gets caught in a truck-stop bathroom stall with a Filipino call boy named Manuel, and I'm just an iPhone cultist who hasn't gotten his first Apple gadget yet. Still, I just find it pretty dumb that a cell phone upgrade is causing this much of a furor. God bless you if you're waiting in one of those lines today, but man, I'd rather be in traffic en route to the beach. It just boggles my mind.

Now if you'll excuse me, I need to go sign my life over to Smart Mark video so I can pre-order any possible future Chikara shows that may or may not contain Bryan Danielson.

Remember you can contact TH and ask him questions about wrestling, life or anything else. Please refer to this post for contact information. He always takes questions!