Was it just me, or did John Cena's overacting make him sound a LOT like Harley Morenstein of Epic Meal Time? I was waiting for him to pour Jack DAGNIOLS over Alberto del Rio's fallen carcass and then make that lame ten count again, this time peeling off bacon strips fresh from the oven.
Internet meme comparisons aside though, I thought it was a fine RAW, less insulting than last week, which is hard to do given that the stereotype was through the roof tonight. I guess WWE can't travel internationally without their heels laying on the cheap heat thick. Luckily, wrestling has never been high culture, and tonight's stereotyping was tame and actually a little entertaining. I know a lot of people really hated the immigration shtick in the middle of the CM Punk/Miz match, but I thought the white guy being pulled out for immigration was great in an ironic theater of the absurd way. Plus, it really played in Johnny Ace's dynamite awkward night. More on that later. I know that some people didn't like that Laurinitis' bag seems to be interrupting matches, but hey, if he's going to be a super dick heel, he might as well play it up. I didn't really think it hurt the flow of the match as much as other people did too, although to be fair, the ending of the match came a bit abruptly after the break. Still, I was super impressed with Miz, and Punk's Punk, which is all you need to know. I do agree with some who think that Punk not cutting promos is asinine. Good programming happens when strengths are played to. Punk is a great wrestler, but he's an all-timer on the mic. He's gotta have a pipe bomb in his hands.
Back to Johnny Ace, his opening segment was awkward hilarity. The guy's delivery was average, but in a way, it worked for him. He's supposed to be a goober, and whether it's intentional or not, he's the biggest fucking goober in the company right now. The material he got was passive aggressive gold. If he's going to be a thing for now, there would be far worse ways to play it off. There was one guy on the mic who outshone him and pretty much everyone though. Dolph Ziggler continues to be the best at pro wrestling, at the entire package. If I could bottle up that promo he cut and sell it as Mexican Viagra for $1 a pill at shady resort town shopping area, I'd make a fortune. It was that good. He also did his best to make Mason Ryan look like more than Human Claymation. Seriously, remember when I was pimping this guy out because he looked scary? Yeah, that's about all he's good for apparently. Here's hoping he's the next guy to get popped for Wellness.
For a wrestling show though, the wrestling was standout. I mentioned Ziggler carrying Ryan as a lopsided high point, and the preceding Jack Swagger/Zack Ryder match needed to be more than just 45 seconds long. Other than that, the wrestling was really good. I liked the six-man a little bit, I liked the main event a lot, and I LOVED Punk/Miz. Miz really is coming into his own as a ruthless dickbag on offense. This is a big thing to me. Back to the main event, while I really wish they'd stop making the announcers wrestle, I thought it was a good way to give Cena the stipulation choice without really killing del Rio here. The post-match stuff though was pretty excessive. I really wish that they'd just stop letting their lawful good hero exemplify the cardinal sin wrath and actually take the high road for once. Such is life though.
Banner by K. Sawyer Paul
