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| Yep, time to send the rugrats back to school |
A lot of parents complain about how school is different than when they were children, and running the risk of sounding like one of those dudes tinged by nostalgia, I somewhat agree. Some of those changes have been for the better though, but I also think that there are some things that have made kids worse for wear. I may not have been a parent for as long as some of you out there, but I do feel like I have some idea of how we as parents can help our kids grow up to be well-adjusted members of society like us. Here goes:
1. Pack a lunch - School lunches run the gamut from Grade F Cow Product with Butter and Grease to Jaime Oliver-inspired Wheatgrass and Kale Health Food. Parents have had a problem with both extremes, but let's face it, there's an obesity epidemic going on. No, scratch that. To call it an epidemic means that there's no way for us to prevent it. Whether healthy or grotesque, the problem is that we're letting the school decide what our children are to eat.
The best way to combat this is to pack lunches for our kids. Depending on the household, this may not be better than what the schools offer, but at the same time, at least it's something we can control. The first thing to do is to stop buying all the pre-processed bullshit. If watching Restaurant: Impossible has taught me anything though, fresh food is cheaper than the frozen shit, and that's the first way to help combat dietary malaise. Make a sandwich (although be careful about peanut butter and jelly, because schools oftentimes have restrictions on peanuts for kids allergic... yeah, I don't agree with it either, but whatever), pack fresh fruit or carrot sticks, make a salad. It'll be better in the long run.
2. Encourage your kids to stand up for themselves - Nobody likes a bully. This has been constant for, well, ever. Yet it's only been in the last few years that we've seen actual push to get people to stop being bullies and to go get help. Yeah, it's all well and good to go to the authorities, but it feeds into this idea that the only people who can be self-starters are the aggressors. I don't know about you, but it reeks of hypocrisy to keep telling our kids to be individuals out of one side of our mouths but then have them run to teachers or other guardian-types when people pick on them.
The best way to do this is to teach the kid to stand up for himself. Whether it's through martial arts classes or just teaching to throw a punch correctly, that kind of self-defense is very much worthwhile in nipping schoolyard problems in the bud. Of course, the problem then becomes bureaucratic in that retaliation carries just as much of a punishment as aggression. My take is that school discipline is fleeting, and no one is going to remember in 8th grade that you got suspended in 5th grade for hitting back. What they will remember though is not to fuck with the "nerd" because he/she knows tae kwon do or has a mean left hook.
Of course, that doesn't even take into account "cyber bullying". Again, standing up for oneself doesn't even have to mean physical violence. The cliché is "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say it at all." That's all well and good for regular situations, but when you're being disparaged, you need to learn how to disparage back. Again, aggression is never the answer. I would be heartbroken if TJ turned out to be a bully, but I also don't want him to be the goober that I was in school. There's a time and a place for going to the teacher because you have a problem with another student, but we shouldn't be so quick to draw the line so hastily.
3. Encourage them to get involved in sports/activities, but don't be one of "those" parents - Again, obesity is a problem, and part of it is nutrition. The other part is that video games and Internet stuff have become so pervasive that kids don't want to play anymore. I still see kids outside on my block playing and stuff, which is good. I also know that we don't get a higher percentage of fat kids just from moderate use of video games.
Basically, the best way to keep from getting addicted to tech is to encourage that they do something else constructive. Whether it is sports, music, the newspaper or even chess club, the less time they spend glued to a video game is the more time they'll be spending being active and more importantly, being social with other kids their age. I'm not even saying video games are bad. I was a gamer back in the day, and I still do indulge every once in awhile. I also think that I spent too much time playing video games and thus am kinda awkward. That being said, I'm not nearly as awkward as I would have been if I didn't go out and play football with my friends on the block every day after school or during the weekends either.
But remember, no one likes a parent who tries to live vicariously through a talented son or daughter, especially the son or daughter. It's good to be involved in a child's life, but let's not be overbearing.
Again, I know that it might seem a bit preachy coming from me, but at the same time, I don't think you need to be a parent to really know what being a good parent entails. All of the things above are easier said than done though, and I'm sure everyone has their own methodology. Still, some things are better when stated. All of the above are opinions, but I happen to think they're extremely valid ones. Maybe I'm right, maybe I'm wrong, but at the same time, I think that any path that involves working towards being an active parent, not overactive or underactive but just active, is a good one.
