TWB's Official Best in the World Rankings: September 24th

Now THAT'S a coaster

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last week: 1) - Bryan retains his Best in the World ranking this week because he claimed the Hide and Seek World Championship in addition to being the Tag Team Champions as well. Seriously, how good was that hiding spot? Plus, he beat the shit out of the entire tag division with chairs.

2. Meiko Satomura (Last week: 5) - Even though I have no idea what she might have done to enhance her ratings three spots this week, I will say that discussing her standing with Brandon Stroud on the Podcast this past week has made me see the light on her.

3. Eastern North Carolina Barbecue (Last week: N/R) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - The wedding spread I went to this weekend had North Cackalacky pulled pork on it, and it was awesome. Where have you been all my life? SIDENOTE! Why the hell is North Cackalacky a valid nickname for North Carolina?

4. Kane (Last week: 4) - He also beat the crap out of the tag division. PLUS, his pyro was really, really, really hot, even from where I was sitting. That counts for something.

5. The Griffon (Last week: N/R) - This coaster had not only one, but two 90 degree drops. TWO. Busch Gardens does not mess around.

6. Weddings (Last week: N/R) - Seriously, everyone gets all dressed up to get drunk and do instructional dances. Oh, and EAT! At the wedding we were at this weekend, the groom and his cohorts made twelve gallon-plus jugs of "sangria", which each had a bottle of Absolut Peach in them. Just smelling a small glass was 10 proof.

7. Sara del Rey (Last week: N/R) - I know she hasn't gotten her NXT-Name Generated appellation, nor has she made a mark on the non-corporate world lately, but Antonio Cesaro did dump Aksana. Could del Rey might appear as Cesaro's new main squeeze? I don't know, but this is all just base speculation. However, if this is to be used as news, then ALL DIRTSHEETS MUST CREDIT ME ME ME YOU JERKS.

8. Veronica Ticklefeather (Last week: N/R) - A lot of things in AIW have been subject to change, but Veronica Ticklefeather being the manager of Champions is not one of them. She has the AIW Tag Champs in the Batiri AND the Chikara Young Lions Cup Champion in Mark Angelosetti. I heard she also managed the Akron Aeros to the AA Eastern League Championship in baseball.

9. The Spectral Envoy (Last week: 3) - Again, they didn't do a whole lot to mollify their ranking from last week, but I do wanna give them the shoutout for procuring the Vegan hot dogs and for Mantis retweeting all the articles I wrote about the team. I CAN BE BOUGHT, GUYS. Not for the Vegan dogs, but for the RTs.

10. Mark Henry (Last week: 10) - MARK HENRY FACT: Mark Henry is hung like a soda can. That may not sound impressive until you realize that most women HAPPILY can't walk straight after encountering him.