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| Imagine this, only as part of a traditional five-on-five elimination match Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein |
Survivor Series is upon us, and the first of the traditional five-on-five matches have been announced. WWE is not going to have all traditional matches because the roster isn't big enough and there are other stories going on that will end up in singles matches. However, if there's any promotion that could just stop on a dime and get sixty people together for a slate of matches, it's Chikara. So, here's my totally hypothetical, fictional but AWESOME Chikara Survivor Series lineup:
1. Delirious, Obariyon, Kodama, Kobold and Ophidian vs. UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, Frightmare, Crossbones and Hieracon
This is the obvious main event here. Delirious' army is already in place, and pending whether Crossbones is able to wrestle, all Mantis would need is a fifth. Who better to fill the role than a returning Hieracon/Jonathan Gresham, looking for revenge for his own dispatching by Ophidian and on Amasis' behalf?
2. Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Manami Toyota, Fire Ant, and Green Ant vs. Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, The Shard, deviANT and Soldier Ant
The setup for this match might take a little explanation. The Chikarametrics-decreed Colony has had assailANT in Soldier's place, but rather than teaming with that interloper, I'd imagine Quack flipping his shit and booting assailANT out of the group, replacing him with Toyota. As a tactical advantage, the rudos keep Soldier in their ranks. Quack's potential for raging and continuing his trek to the dark side would be great here.
3. Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Mike Bennett, Harlem Bravado and Lancelot Bravado vs. Icarus, Sugar Dunkerton, Chuck Taylor, Johnny Gargano and the Swamp Monster
Hard to imagine a rudo vs. rudo matchup here, but there's still good heat between FIST and the Bucks. The Bravados have been good little lackeys, and Bennett is welcome in Chikara any time. As for a fifth for FIST, I could have gone for Orange Cassidy or Drew Gulak if I'm going Gentleman's Club, but screw it, the Swamp Monster owns.
4. Colt Cabana, Big LG, Super Domino, Ax and Smash vs. Mister ZERO, Rorschach, Shayne Storm, Darkness Crabtree and Jervis Cottonbelly
Requisite comedy match.
5. Mark Angelosetti, Dasher Hatfield, Matt Classic, Sparky Plugg and Grizzly Redwood vs. The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger, Gran Akuma, Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett and Big Willie Richardson
I don't know why, but I get the feeling that this Mysterious and Handsome Stranger has a vendetta to carry out, and I almost feel like it's against the current Young Lions Cup Champion. I don't know, Touchdown seems like the kind of guy who makes easy enemies. His Throwbacks would need an extension, so he'd go into the realm of stock car racing with Sparky Plugg and lumberjack games with Grizzly Redwood. As for the Stranger? Well, there's not really a whole rhyme or reason having Da Soul Touchaz and Akuma here, but hey, does there have to be?
6. Eddie Kingston, Saturyne, El Generico, Scott Parker and Shane Matthews vs. Kevin Steen, assailANT, Mark Briscoe, Jay Briscoe and MsChif
Kingston and Steen are doing a cibernetico later in November to hash out there differences, but hey, there's a slot open here too. Saturyne might seem a bit out of place here, but considering that I have Steen bringing along the Briscoes, who quite fancied her "big ol' booty", maybe she's not as out of place as once though. assailANT would be Steen's choice to stick it to Chikara, while MsChif is there because I want to see MsChif work for Chikara in any capacity.
1. Delirious, Obariyon, Kodama, Kobold and Ophidian vs. UltraMantis Black, Hallowicked, Frightmare, Crossbones and Hieracon
This is the obvious main event here. Delirious' army is already in place, and pending whether Crossbones is able to wrestle, all Mantis would need is a fifth. Who better to fill the role than a returning Hieracon/Jonathan Gresham, looking for revenge for his own dispatching by Ophidian and on Amasis' behalf?
2. Mike Quackenbush, Jigsaw, Manami Toyota, Fire Ant, and Green Ant vs. Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier, The Shard, deviANT and Soldier Ant
The setup for this match might take a little explanation. The Chikarametrics-decreed Colony has had assailANT in Soldier's place, but rather than teaming with that interloper, I'd imagine Quack flipping his shit and booting assailANT out of the group, replacing him with Toyota. As a tactical advantage, the rudos keep Soldier in their ranks. Quack's potential for raging and continuing his trek to the dark side would be great here.
3. Matt Jackson, Nick Jackson, Mike Bennett, Harlem Bravado and Lancelot Bravado vs. Icarus, Sugar Dunkerton, Chuck Taylor, Johnny Gargano and the Swamp Monster
Hard to imagine a rudo vs. rudo matchup here, but there's still good heat between FIST and the Bucks. The Bravados have been good little lackeys, and Bennett is welcome in Chikara any time. As for a fifth for FIST, I could have gone for Orange Cassidy or Drew Gulak if I'm going Gentleman's Club, but screw it, the Swamp Monster owns.
4. Colt Cabana, Big LG, Super Domino, Ax and Smash vs. Mister ZERO, Rorschach, Shayne Storm, Darkness Crabtree and Jervis Cottonbelly
Requisite comedy match.
5. Mark Angelosetti, Dasher Hatfield, Matt Classic, Sparky Plugg and Grizzly Redwood vs. The Mysterious and Handsome Stranger, Gran Akuma, Acid Jaz, Marshe Rockett and Big Willie Richardson
I don't know why, but I get the feeling that this Mysterious and Handsome Stranger has a vendetta to carry out, and I almost feel like it's against the current Young Lions Cup Champion. I don't know, Touchdown seems like the kind of guy who makes easy enemies. His Throwbacks would need an extension, so he'd go into the realm of stock car racing with Sparky Plugg and lumberjack games with Grizzly Redwood. As for the Stranger? Well, there's not really a whole rhyme or reason having Da Soul Touchaz and Akuma here, but hey, does there have to be?
6. Eddie Kingston, Saturyne, El Generico, Scott Parker and Shane Matthews vs. Kevin Steen, assailANT, Mark Briscoe, Jay Briscoe and MsChif
Kingston and Steen are doing a cibernetico later in November to hash out there differences, but hey, there's a slot open here too. Saturyne might seem a bit out of place here, but considering that I have Steen bringing along the Briscoes, who quite fancied her "big ol' booty", maybe she's not as out of place as once though. assailANT would be Steen's choice to stick it to Chikara, while MsChif is there because I want to see MsChif work for Chikara in any capacity.
