Logic and Wrestling: They Don't Have to Be Exclusive

Seriously, no.
Photo Credit: WWE.com

There's an easy way out of this whole AJ Lee/John Cena/Vickie Guerrero "affair" storyline. There really is. All Cena and Lee have to do is poke and prod into how Guerrero was able to get a hold of all that personal information and air it on live television in front of 4 million people, give or take a couple hundred thousand. I'm pretty sure most sane consenting adults don't give a flying shit what Cena, going through a highly-publicized divorce, and Lee are doing with their spare time, and I bet a few of them actually want to see the footage because hey, pornography is titillating. The only person who is actually doing something wrong here is Guerrero, who has either committed fraud in splicing together words Lee said to misrepresent her or an invasion of privacy on Cena by hacking his voice mail.

The main problem with it from WWE's side is that it's illogical to believe that Lee or Cena would be in hot water for abuse of power when Vickie Guerrero is abusing power blatantly and in front of the camera, breaking laws all the while. The main problem with some fans is that they accept this as "kayfabe" or part of wrestling. Obviously, there's a certain amount of disbelief we have to suspend in order to reconcile the wrestling world with the real world, but I don't think not wanting felonies to happen on camera should be considered unreasonable.

The problem really isn't that "wrestling" in and of itself is unreasonable or unbelievable. It's WWF/E, WCW and WCW's spiritual successor Impact that keep digging logic holes for themselves without a ladder to let themselves out. They keep going further and further that the only way they get back on flat land is by digging through the earth to the other side. Of course, the simplest way to make sure you don't leave your fans scratching their heads is by keeping things simple. It all goes back to the fundamental misunderstanding that the bookers and writers have; they think they're the ones that people come to see, when in reality, it's the wrestlers.

People give bookers way too much credit, and really, there's only one creative guy in my lifetime that I'd ever swear by, and he's managing the WWE Champion right now (he's also an alleged crook, but that's a whole other blog post). And really, what did Paul Heyman do that made him so acclaimed? He gave his guys simple stories that played to their strengths and told them to turn things up to 11. Why people look at his example and ever think he was great at being a cerebral mastermind is beyond me, but you don't need to try and overthink things. When that happens, you get this bullshit.

I don't want or need a wrestling show that's just guys going for wins and losses, or else I'd be EVOLVE superfan #1. However, I don't need a wrestling show that tries to weave such complex stories that they're not capable of getting out of them without asking the audience to make leaps they shouldn't have to make. If you want to make Vickie Guerrero hated, you don't need to have her demonize John Cena and AJ Lee for allegedly having sex. Just have her say "EXCUSE ME!" over and over again. It's worked for her so far, and if it ain't broke, don't fix it.