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| No words Photo Credit: ESPN.com |
- First and foremost, the amount of attention being paid to this story is ridiculous compared to the lack of attention paid to a young woman who was raped by a member of the Notre Dame football team and committed suicide thanks in part to the mental trauma she suffered from the rape. Read about it here. Not surprisingly, no charges have been filed yet. This all makes me sick, and it makes the Rock Concert Monday look like a walk in the park in Berkeley.
- The timing of this, with the backdrop of Chip Kelly being named as Eagles head coach, feels like a bratty kid trying to big time dad’s announcement of getting a new job by claiming that he/she has a new imaginary friend who is totally awesome, only this time, it actually worked.
- I bet Te’o’s favorite movie is Fight Club, but not for the reasons David Fincher (or Chuck Palahniuk) intended.
- Te’o should have been skeptical when Lennay Kekua claimed to him on Twitter that her family moved from California from Lemuria.
- Haha, just kidding, that would mean we’d believe Te’o’s story about how he was duped in all of this and that he had no culpability whatsoever in fabricating the story.
- Seriously though, how salty must the national media be getting beaten to the punch on this story by Deadspin? I mean, they can’t possibly fall on the chestnut of bloggers being guys who only care about dick shots who live in their mothers’ basements now anymore. Haha, psych, they totally will, because you see, the national mainstream media is a joke.
- That isn’t to say that all bloggers are reputable journalists, but chew on this for a second. If Manti Te’o were a black superstar player for the 76ers, this story would’ve been broken open a week after it happened by racist, sexist, local smear-tactic blogger Kyle Scott at Crossing Broad. I mean, he’s the guy who pretty much dogged Andrew Bynum for going to a strip club during his rehab and stalked several outlets to get pictures of it AND to smear the barmaid he was hanging out with. You KNOW he would’ve been all over this story from jump, and it would have made each and every one of us feel goddamn disgusting.
- No, seriously, did anyone think to look for a goddamn obituary for Lennay Kekua? I mean, you people call yourselves journalists?
- Even more hilariously, ESPN claimed it was sitting on the Te’o story for 10 days before Deadspin broke it. Worldwide leader my ass.
- People joke about how badly this reflects on the girls of South Bend that Te’o had to make up a girlfriend rather than deal with them. That would be funny except it points to either a severe mental disorder or the more obvious reason why he’d make a girlfriend up. You know, because he’s really gay.
- Seriously, how fucked up is it that in order to escape the “stigma” of being gay in a major sport, he had to create a fake girlfriend and KILL her to cover his tracks. This is why when people tell me that gay people in this country get treatment that’s too good compared to straight people, I laugh, vomit, laugh some more, and then quell my urge to stab them in the face with alcohol.
- That being said, if he did come out, a lot of the stigma would go away because it’d be such a huge story. And we all know that if the first male pro athlete to come out of the closet was a Samoan Mormon football player at Notre Dame, man, the field day we’d all have with that. (Credit to @TheEricFulton on that one)
- Seriously though, wasn’t the biggest warning sign that this all couldn’t have been real when he forewent going to her funeral? Like, it doesn’t matter if my wife told me that if I went to her funeral instead of sitting at home and DOING WHAT I DO BEST which is by daring to be bold by writing about wrestling and not mentioning the buyrate that she’d haunt me for the rest of my days, I would have to be the most awful person ever not to attend it, right? Don’t answer that question, because the answer is yes, and if you say otherwise, stop reading this blog right now. I don’t wanna share my bandwidth with you anymore.
- Major athletes having online relationships based on only texting and Tweeting means that sports have finally caught up to 2000 and all the people with their AIM-only boyfriend/girlfriend situations.
- And children, what’s the most important lesson here? If you said “Don’t build statues of the living,” you’d be wrong, because that’s only the second most important. The first is, “Goddammit people, why the fuck won’t you learn from history?” Because really, we’ve been saying since the dawn of time that building up celebrities, athlete or not, as paragons of virtue is a bad idea, and it’s not the only bad idea that has been perpetuated through hubris, ignorance, or both.
- Finally, last year we had Jerry Sandusky’s horrors come to the forefront at Penn State. This year, it’s a Notre Dame player who made up a woman just to murder her for sympathy. I cringe at what next year’s postseason college football off-field story/cover-up might be. My bet is that the real Nick Saban died in a plane crash en route from East Lansing to take the LSU job years ago, and has been replaced by a cyborg ever since.
