Thursday, March 7, 2013

Sink, Florida, Sink: Chikara Weekend Preview

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The next Chikara Grand Champion?
Photo Credit: Scott Finkelstein

Wawa expanded into Florida last year. For those who don't know what that is, it's a convenience store chain based out of the Philadelphia area (began in Delaware County, to be bluntly specific). They opened stores in the Tampa Bay and Orlando areas. It's not surprising, given that the area is a hotbed for Philadelphia expats. It's partially the reason why the Eagles sometimes feel like they have a home game in Raymond James Stadium, or why hockey is so big down there when it's struggling to find a foothold in other warm-weather markets. It's only natural that the first foray of Philadelphia's brand of Americanized lucha libre into Florida is happening in this central hub. However, with the lineup of matches announced, especially the main event of Friday night's show in Tampa, I wonder if Chikara really is coming into the Sunshine state with the best of intentions.

That event, Just Shadows in the Fog taking place at the Orpheum in Tampa (doors open at 7 PM), will be headlined with a match that could very well rend the peninsula from the rest of the country, much like Bugs Bunny is doing here...

...only in a much less clean fashion. That contest is of course Eddie Kingston colliding with the Amazing Kong. Kong is no stranger to Chikara, most recently competing there with consort Raisha Saeed against Daizee Haze and Sara del Rey at the first Chikarasaurus Rex event in 2010. I'm not throwing shade on that tag match. I was actually there live for it, and I quite enjoyed the contest. However, this match is a bit more epic in scale. It's a veritable clash of the titans, a hoss fight, if you will. The strand on this match that most intrigues is that it's unknown whether it will be for Kingston's Grand Championship yet. The War King put his hands on Wink Vavasseur at the last Chikara weekend, and the Director of Fun didn't quite like that.

Regardless, if Kingston makes it out of Tampa with the title (or with his life and health, because c'mon, it's Kong), he'll have one of the stiffest challenges for his Grand Championship yet awaiting him in Orlando. The event is called Watchmaker, and it will be taking place at the Orlando Downtown Rec Center, doors opening at 6:30 PM. Kingston's challenge will be Green Ant, the youngest and feistiest member of the Colony. Greenie, who has taken Chikara by storm since upending Tursas at High Noon, scored a victory in a non-title match over Kingston at the last Chikara weekend. I haven't peeped the season premiere yet, but if that match was anything less than stellar, I'll be shocked, just as I will be if the contest isn't the final blow at sending Florida careening into the Caribbean.

However, if you think this weekend is all about Eddie Kingston, well, you'll be pleasantly surprised. There are some developments that will certainly unfold here that won't help Florida's chances at surviving the weekend. Firstly, in Tampa, the Devastation Corporation will get their eagerly anticipated shot at los Campeonatos de Parejas, freshly won by 3.0 at the last weekend. This is Scott Parker's and Shane Matthews' second run with the titles. Their first reign ended unceremoniously in its first defense the last time. Will they be stricken with deja vu all over again?

Also in the realm of title defenses, Mark Angelosetti will put his Young Lions Cup against Jakob Hammermeier. This match is interesting in that Angelosetti's ex-girlfriend, Veronica Ticklefeather, went running into the waiting arms of Tim Donst after she was dumped by the current Cupholder. Hammermeier is still currently suffering from an extreme case of Stockholm Syndrome with Donst, although perhaps the final straw was when the nihilistic former YLC Champ shaved his long, flowing blonde locks. If I were Jakob, I'm not entirely sure how much more I could take.

The saga of Soldier Ant continues across both cards. Ripped from The Colony thanks to Vavasseur's idiotic Chikarametrics, Soldier has been doing his best to sabotage The Swarm and Gekido from within until openly and brazenly showing his insubordination at Under the Hood. His dysfunction was for naught, as the tradeoff of assailANT going to The Colony turned out proving to be a beneficial pairing. Left with no comrades, he demanded a new team, which Vavasseur granted to him. However, his new team isn't even known to him right now. He'll lead his three mystery teammates against a team of Fire Ant, assailANT, Dasher Hatfield, and Saturyne in Tampa, and against Delirious' army of Ophidian and the Batiri in Orlando.

Other notable matches in Orlando include quite the personal tag match. Mike Quackenbush and Fire Ant will team up to go against the mirror-matched duo of Jigsaw and The Shard. Quack is still smarting from the superkick he received from his former co-Champion pupil and the blatant insolence and disrespect he's shown since. Jigsaw and Shard are promising to lay waste to Chikara, and here would be a great place to start.

Also, Donst and Archibald Peck will compete in a rematch from their season premiere clash. Peck has been nothing short of vexed by his former bandmate Ticklefeather over the last year-plus. The last thing he needs is for her to keep jumping from rival to rival, although it's unclear what the relationship between the former majorette-turned-cheerleader and Donst is at this point. You can find the complete matches for Tampa and Orlando by clicking the respective links. The cards are pretty much stacked.

But by stacking the cards, is Chikara putting a state that has had to deal with hurricanes, sinkholes, and basically all the weird crap chronicled in the Florida Man Twitter at risk for cleaving from the North American continent? Regardless of the case, they'll at least send the state out with a bang. If you're in Central Florida, be at one of these shows at least.