The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, March 18th

Even as a scavenger, Mark Henry is the best
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - Yo, you nine people who voted against him in March Mayhem? Did you see what he did to Ryback Friday? I'm not saying you're not free to your opinion, but all I'm saying is if he shows up at your door with a pissed off look in his eye, well, you'd better have a living will.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - Any woman who can rock a pants suit is boss in my book.

3. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - I'm not saying he's stuck in the third spot because Big E. Langston dropped him on his ribs this week, but I am suggesting maybe he should be looking into whether Josh Reddick has sleeper agents in WWE who happen to be giant men with amusing Twitter accounts. You can't be the best in the world if you don't do proper recon in a beard war.

4. Bacon Cheeseburger Pizza (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED RANKING - Bacon cheeseburgers are great. Pizza is delicious. Put them together, and I'm not even sure if the impending coronary I have coming to me is gonna make me mad or not.

5. Daffney (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Daffney's a total gangsta. Total. Gangsta.

6. Bill Simmons (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Yeah yeah, he shouldn't have spoken out, taken internal channels, punishment slap on wrist, yadda yadda yadda. Doesn't take away from the fact that he's absolutely right and that he's absolutely the only one at that fucking network who's even remotely interested in creating quality content instead of empty troll ratings. Oh yeah, and SI and Peter King are ripping him off.

7. Rob Conway (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Every time someone says they don't give a shit about the NWA, people go caring when the belt changes hands. That kind of staying power is impressive enough to rub off on the new Champion.

8. Dave Grohl (Last Week: Not Ranked) - If this were "Best Rockstar in the World," I wouldn't do this list at all because he'd be on top of it every week and it'd get boring. Case in point.

9. Christopher Daniels and Kazarian (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I would have given them the #1 spot on principle if instead of the Legion of Boom, they came out as CD Punk and Colt Kazbana. But then again, I'm not sure even they'd wanna tempt those fates.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: Sara del Rey celebrated the anniversary of her and Courtney Rush's SHIMMER Tag Team Championship win by having Paige do karaoke of "Call Me Maybe" and sending the footage to her mother. The facts aren't related in the least. del Rey just really likes trolling Saraya Knight.