The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, May 20th

You're damn right this was missing from prom yesterday
Photo Credit: Texas Anarchy

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 2) - ACW Prom was a certified 58% LESS fabulous without her there. I think that's one case where absence is seen as actual credential, amirite guise?

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 3) - While he no longer is in possession of his Tag Team Championship, he at least has the best beard in all the land*.

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - Rumor has it Henry threw the strap match last night because they were using sponge cake instead of real leather. Mark Henry ain't gonna go into no watered down strap match. That ain't what he do.

4. Tara (Last Week: Not Ranked) - I dreamed the other night that she was going to name a pizza in my honor, the TH (pineapple and bacon with sriracha-infused pizza sauce), but I woke up hungry and drooling. I guess I gotta actually go out to Chicago and actually eat there to have a chance at that happening, don't I?

5. Miguel (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Look, now that those women he leg dropped are going to be okay, I think it's okay to comment on how good the form on his actual technique was. I'd say it's somewhere between Kofi Kingston and Hulk Hogan, not a bad place to be.

6. Pickles (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - So I got a BJ's membership over the weekend, and part of my haul was a big jar of Vlasic dill pickle spears. I love 'em. I could eat a billion of them in a sitting (but I won't because they're high in sodium). In fact, the haul I came home with? Pickles, two 48 oz. jars of peanut butter, string cheese, and Kraft Easy Mac. I am a teenager, really.

7. Gangrel (Last Week: Not Ranked) - He made his Chikara/Wrestling Is... debut this past weekend revealing that he had turned the Kentucky Buffet into vampires. They're now called the Daywalkers. Guys, I think this timeline is getting a bit too dark if you ask me.

8. Terry Funk (Last Week: Not Ranked) - TERRY FUNK TERRY FUNK BAH GAWD TERRY FUNK AND SPIKE DUDLEY BAH GAWD WAIT I FORGOT WHAT I WAS TALKIN' BOUT!

9. Steph Curry (Last Week: 9) - The Warriors lost to the Spurs in the Western Conference semifinals, but not because of anything Curry did wrong. In addition to going Super Saiyan all playoffs long, the man went out on the court (they lost at home) and thanked all the fans who stuck around with his teammates. That's cool shit, man. Really cool.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: The United States is the world's leading consumer of chewing gum, thanks to the 30,000 packs of gum del Rey chews every hour.

*- Excluding Austin, TX, for that's the domain of Jack Jameson.