The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, August 19

And he loves his mama too... how shoot adorable
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Darren Young (Last Week: Not Ranked) - No snark, no pretense, Darren Young is a hero.

2. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - Through a loophole in WWE bylaws, Bryan is still technically WWE Champion since he was not conscious at the time of the cash-in. STILL THE CHAMP. STILL THE CHAMP. STILL THE CHAMP.

3. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 3) - You're asking why is Summerlyn still ranked this high? Nah, psych, no one asked me that because they know she don't need to do nuthin' to earn this spot, yo.

4. Su Yung (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Not only did she return to Anarchy on Sunday, she preceded it by winning the Air Sex Championship the night before. Question though, is that defensible like any other wrestling title? I need to know!

5. Mark Henry (Last Week: 1) - Honestly, Mark Henry could have solidified a higher ranking this week if he had just gone rogue and used Rob van Dam as a projectile weapon against The Shield. Where the fuck does he get these allies? Don't get me wrong, Big Show's a great ally. But RVD? Fuck that shit.

6. Kana (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Kana finally won the JWP Openweight Championship over the weekend, and she did it in total ridic facepaint. At this point, I think she's openly trolling the establishment, and I love it.

7. The Proletarian Boar of Moldova (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Okay, so, rather than looking at him diluting the avatars representing the former Soviet Socialist republic ethic, I will take him escaping Indiana with the newly-minted 24/7 Championship by using a fargling squeegee to get the jump on Mr. Touchdown this week.

8. Philly Pretzel Factory Soft Pretzels (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Get one of these jawns out of the oven? Fresh out of the oven? Yeah, total fat person crack.

9. AJ Lee (Last Week: 6) - My guess is when she entered that Venice Beach outdoor gym thingy, she totally Black Widowed every meathead who tried to hit on her, which is how I'm covering her on this list despite the result last night.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: If Sara del Rey were the special guest referee last night, she would have walked out of that building WWE Champion. Don't ask me how. She just would have.