The Wrestling Blog's OFFICIAL Best in the World Rankings, August 26

Caged Bryan is a WARBRINGING Bryan
Photo Credit: WWE.com

Welcome to a feature I like to call "Best in the World" rankings. They're not traditional power rankings per se, but they're rankings to see who is really the best in the world, a term bandied about like it's bottled water or something else really common. They're rankings decided by me, and don't you dare call them arbitrary lest I smack the taste out of your mouth. Without further ado, here's this week's list:

1. Daniel Bryan (Last Week: 2) - He has now gone from hunter to hunted, much like Steve Austin did in 1997. However, I'm seeing a lot of people wondering aloud when he'll bring in a truck and what liquid he'll have in it to spray at Corporation Nouveau. C'mon, Bryan is way more original than that. If I had to chance a guess, his plot will involve Asparagus the Wonder Dog humping so many legs, and that would just be the start.

2. Rachel Summerlyn (Last Week: 3) - I have to wonder, is there any truth to the rumor that I just started right now that the University of Texas, looking to add toughness to their team for the upcoming season, is interested in hiring Summerlyn as Strength and Conditioning Coach as well as Right Kicks to the Face for Toughness Coach? Well, both Summerlyn and the Longhorns are located in Austin, so that's all the proof I need!

3. Mark Henry (Last Week: 5) - Night of Champions is looking like a CERTIFIED HOSS SUMMIT when Big Show and Mark Henry (code name: HOSSAMANIA) go up against Roman Reigns and Seth Rollins. The pressing question remains... if Rollins is the only non-hoss there, is he a liability for his team? The answer? MAYBE.

4. AJ Lee (Last Week: 9) - Honestly, if I had to deal with a creeper trying to hug me when I was trying to beat her down, and on the Hulu show no less, I wouldn't have held back like she did. Major props for not breaking Bayley's orbital bone.

5. Miley Cyrus (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Miley twerkin' her ass off and pissing off all the crusty old folks was a classic troll move. Gotta respect that. Seriously, people get their shit in a tizzy way too easily over raunch. Fuck, the fact we call it raunch is part of the problem.

6. Pete Dunne (Last Week: Not Ranked) - A double single leg crab? THAT'S HOSSY.

7. Glass Joe (Last Week: Not Ranked) - After nearly 20 years, he finally gets his revenge on Mike Tyson.

8. Philly Pretzel Factory Cinnamon Sugar Spread (Last Week: Not Ranked) OFFICIAL HOLZERMAN HUNGERS SPONSORED ENTRY - Just when you think that they couldn't improve on their pretzels, I find out these monsters now have this spread to go along with it? I'M TRYING TO LOSE WEIGHT OVER HERE, GAWD.

9. John Cena (Last Week: Not Ranked) - Cena's placement isn't for his speech or for putting over Daniel Bryan. Have you seen this guy's Instagram? Fucking awesome.

10. Sara del Rey (Last Week: 10) - SARA DEL REY FACT: del Rey is preparing for football season by tweaking her chili recipe's heat levels, from four to five alarm. However, she's unsure whether ground turkey pairs well with ghost chiles though.