Saturday, August 17, 2013

Twitter Request Line, Vol. 41

Bryan? Champion? Will it happen tomorrow?
Photo Credit: WWE.com
It's Twitter Request Line time, everyone! I take to Twitter to get questions about issues in wrestling, past and present, and answer them on here because 140 characters can't restrain me, fool! If you don't know already, follow me @tholzerman, especially around Friday night after Smackdown, and wait for the call. Or don't wait for it actually. I'll try to get everything for this feature no matter when in the week you shoot me the Tweet. Anyway, here we go.

First up, @Jessico09 informs me that Brooke Hogan has been fired from TNA and wants my thoughts on it.

I hate seeing anyone lose their job, yes, even the nepotistic hire of the second-in-command in the company. However, one has to ask what purpose she served on Impact each week. When I was still watching regularly, that purpose was to run down everyone else and serve as a canvas for some questionably misogynistic story threads. I don't think she should have been hired in the first place.

That being said? I think it's a personnel move in the right direction. I would rather see Brooke Hogan be cast out of the company than Jesse Sorensen or Joey Ryan (who showed up briefly on Smackdown last night!). In order for TNA to become healthy as a company, they need to cast out the vestiges, the anachronisms. Brooke Hogan is a start.

Culinary genius of SB Nation @IAmSpilly asks what is wrestling.

Wrestling can be anything. Okay, that's way too vague an answer, especially to a lapsed or non-fan. The art has to include a ring and two or more people (or one person and one bear, I WILL GET A MODERN WRESTLING PROMOTION TO GET ME A BEAR IN A GODDAMN RING) putting on a feigned athletic competition for show, with the match ending in pinfall, submission, disqualification, countout, ref stoppage, or TOTAL AND UTTER CLUSTERFUCK. Outside of that, wrestling can be anything, and that's what makes it beautiful. WWE is not like Chikara, which is not like Ring of Honor, which is not like New Japan Pro Wrestling (no matter how much it WANTS to be NJPW), which is not like Asistencia Asesoría y Administración, which is not like PROGRESS Wrestling, which is not like what happens on Great Power Uti cards in Nigeria. And none of which are like TNA, and thank God for that.

I'm afraid I haven't really answered the question, but at the same time, the diversity in wrestling promotions across the world is why you can have fans like me who like EVERYTHING, but also have fans who are fragmented so that they like only certain promotions or even certain subsets inside promotions. But when you get down to it, wrestling is very much a group of wrestlers under a promoter deciding how they want to present half-naked people pretend fighting via hugs in the middle of a ring for crowd reactions. Doesn't that sound goddamn amazing?

@GayWrestlingFan asks what I would call the new era if Daniel Bryan wins the WWE Championship on Sunday.

I think calling it the "Wrestling Era" would be super-patronizing and dismissive of everything that came beforehand. Let's not call it that. "The Bearded Era" puts too much emphasis on a thing that can be removed from Bryan's person for great crowd heat and storyline juice. My choice would then be "The Era of Fracture." Why would I choose such a name? Hopefully, Bryan's win will be a watershed moment for WWE, when the company embraces its fans rooting for individuals rather than for the wrestlers the company brands as "babyface" over ones they designate "heels." Sure, the universally reviled wrestler will always exist (Hello, Randy Orton!), but I think WWE would be better off letting the fans choose their allegiance, whether it be the corporate Champions like Cena and in a way Bryan, or the otherwise dastardly like Brock Lesnar or even Damien Sandow.

Noted journalist Ken Borsuk asks with every finish on the table for SummerSlam (outside of John Cena retaining), what do I think the end of the SummerSlam main event will be?

They seem to be telegraphing Randy Orton cashing in either way, and I think that's going to happen. But what will the circumstance of said cash-in be? They are pushing way too hard for Triple H to be the defender of all that is good and holy. I have to wonder if he's going to turn, but I fear that where they're going is that Trips AND Bryan will both turn, and Bryan becomes The Game's little buddy, the one show ending that would TRULY make me want to jump off a bridge.

However, I tend to think that Orton will come out of the event as Champion after cashing in on Cena after a fuck-finish that sees Bryan on the cusp of winning. Bryan gets Cena in the NO! Lock on his "injured" arm, but right before Trips looks to see if Cena's passed out, Vince McMahon pulls him out of the ring and decks him with a foreign object. Orton RKOs Bryan, Brad Maddox counts the pin, then Orton cashes in and pins Cena. That way, Bryan doesn't win the title but has a reason to stay in the main event. Then his big moment can come at WrestleMania. I could be booking with my heart here, but hey, it makes sense.

@thisiszach asks if I think TNA gave Chris Sabin the Championship to turn Tito Ortiz heel.

I didn't watch any of Sabin's reign, but that sounds like something TNA would do. They just can't get out of their own way. I maintain that Sabin having a competitive match with Bully Ray at first, falling short, and building towards another shot after Bound for Glory would have been a better option, one that may have drawn me back into the company. But hey, when you have retreads booking with retread ideas, well, you get TNA.

@bdbdbdbd asks if Darren Young coming out and Steve Austin supporting marriage equality means wrestling is ready to turn the corner from the days of Billy and Chuck.

I'm going to have a column about the need for WWE in general to move away from Billy and Chuck, but in my heart of hearts, I do believe that wrestling is going to come out of this ahead of the curve, in general. I think Austin's vocal support for marriage equality is key here. He's about as redneck as they come, and as strange as it sounds, he may have pull among wrestling fans who sway far to the right. Change tends to cycle through the performers first, then the fans, then the office in any real medium, wrestling especially. I have some hope for the first time.

@robot_hammer asks how sure a thing Big E Langston is when it comes to the main event scene.

I love his chances. Even if he does push ahead as a straightforward big man, without incorporating his quirky sense of humor into his character, I think he's got an excellent shot. He's an athletic hoss who's a legitimately good wrestler, and he can chew scenery. I will be utterly shocked if he doesn't have at least a two or three pay-per-view run of WWE Title shots, I will be shocked.

@EdieFranknstien asks if firing Brooke Hogan brings me any closer to watching TNA.

No, because she wasn't the reason I stopped watching. I can say that the office stuff was the reason I stopped watching and look like a martyr, but I'd be disingenuous and would be copping out. I stopped watching TNA because I was no longer enjoying it. I think they'd have to get rid of the one ahead of Papa Hogan for me to definitely give it another shot. Dixie Carter needs to get her ass out of power, because she is the dirt worst.

The folks over at the excellent What a Maneuver!! Podcast asked how in God's name Sid made so much money in pro wrestling.

Sid came up in a time when promoters, especially Vince McMahon, loved big dudes, regardless of talent. Match quality didn't really become a selling point until the new millenium. Plus, the guy had a legitimately promising aura. If Sid had any discernable talent, he might have been a cult hero at least with how goddamn crazy his character was, whether informed by how crazy he was in real life or not.

@CodyWhiteEsq asks if the Wrestling Is... could be Chikara's way of reconstituting the territory system before resurrecting the main company.

Wrestling Is... does seem like a territory-based system, doesn't it? I think the biggest downfall is that those territories are bunched together. Both As in the acronym are based in New England. Wrestling Is Cool failed as the Ohio Valley's territory, and is now situated next door to Wrestling Is Respect. Intense and Heart both are in the Midwest. I guess they're spread around further than I'm making it seem, and it might be a logistical nightmare to expand down South, in Texas, or on the West Coast.

But in theory, I think that's the idea. I hope they stick around when/if Chikara actually comes back, because each promotion would work as almost a developmental territory for Chikara, or even a place where local legends like Jivin' Jimmy or Billy Roc can compete with the "big" Chikara stars who come through.

@brandon120 wants to know what's "next" for Darren Young.

I hope that the Prime Time Players get pushed, and I hope Young's on-screen character isn't changed one lick. Both Young and Titus O'Neil are talented in their own way. I've wanted to see them as part of a realized tag team division for awhile. If it took Young being in the mainstream for announcing his sexuality, I think it would just be gravy that they get a push out of it. And I do think they'll get more exposure. I'm just skittish as to whether we'll get a tangible change in Young's character because of it.

@OkoriWadsworth asks what match at Battle of Los Angeles I'm looking forward to the most.

Duh, ACH vs. Tony Nese. I think I may have surpassed Brandon Stroud as ACH's foremost fanboy 'round these parts, and for good reason. I think he gets pro wrestling. I've also been on Nese's bandwagon for awhile too, ever since seeing him at ECWA Super 8 in 2012. I knew him nominally from his short stint in TNA, but after seeing him at the tourney, I've been following him on YouTube. He's certainly a guy who deserves to get more and more of a shine, especially in PWG where he'll get opportunities to dazzle. I think their styles are compatible, and I'll be shocked if they don't have one of the best three matches on Night 1.

Comedian, former NBA podcaster, and all around gadfly Gregg Gethard asks if it's possible that the Bray Wyatt/Kane feud has been underrated.

For all the hype that surrounded the Wyatt Family's debut, I have noticed that the chatter around Wyatt/Kane at SummerSlam has been drowned out by doom and gloom surrounding Triple H, Ruiner. I know I've been talking this match up though, at least from a story standpoint. However, I think the fact that this match seems underrated speaks to how loaded SummerSlam is.

@fairbeezy wants to know where I rank Dean Ambrose's "Ghost of Andre the Giant" promo among his mic work.

The promo certainly is his best since he's been called up to the main roster. The man blazed some verbal trails in the indies, but sadly, I've only seen a few of his promos from when he was patrolling CZW and DGUSA. So, to me, the Ghost promo has been his best to date.

@mikepankowski asks me for as good as the top of the SummerSlam card is this year to predict next year's WWE Championship and Brock Lesnar matches.

I am going on record right now predicting that Daniel Bryan will win the WWE Championship at WrestleMania XXX. I also think he will be Champion when SummerSlam comes along. I also think Brock Lesnar's last really necessary WWE match before he fades off into Jimmy John's-sponsored retirement is Bryan. So let's combine the two! WWE Championship match, Daniel Bryan vs. Brock Lesnar. BOOK IT, VINCE.

Finally, @JohnJohnPhenom asks which non-touring promotion I'd like to see come to Philly.

All of them!

No, in all seriousness, I have a top three, actually. So many great promotions exist out there that I can't just pick one. So, my top three are...

1. Pro Wrestling Guerrilla - Now that Chikara is dormant, PWG is without a doubt the top independent promotion out there from a quality standpoint. Not only do they make super-creative use out of the East Coast/Midwest talent that they book, they have a bunch of guys who are awesome that are native to Southern California that I'd love to see live like Willie Mack, Brian Cage, and Pretty Peter Avalon.

2. Anarchy Championship Wrestling - ACW's ethos is a bigger draw to me than any talent they have or had working for them, yes, even ACH or Rachel Summerlyn. Running marathon events in bars? You know I'm there. However, the talent roster is mostly unique and very talented, and their direction is appealing.

3. SHIMMER Women Athletes - They did head east for WrestleCon weekend, and I almost made the trip up just to see their show. However, circumstance and rarity dictated that card. Usually, they rarely leave Chicago. If they were to come to Philly, I'd certainly be in attendance for at least one half of a SHIMMER weekend. Two cards, featuring some of the best wrestlers in the world? Sign me up.